FOMO over Other People’s “Social Media Success”?

Hey Friend!

I’m not shy about the fact that I believe social media is completely unnecessary to build your business. But sometimes you see other people going all out on socials and you might wonder to yourself “shouldn’t I be doing that?” I’m going to tell you two quick stories and see if they resonate with you about having FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) about other people’s social media success. Or shall I say “perceived” success?

Does Other People’s Social Media Success Give You FOMO?

I have a friend who sent me a message saying: “I’m really struggling, Stef. I hear you about all this social media stuff. I’m sick of it. I don’t enjoy being there. It doesn’t feel good to me anymore. However, don’t you think I need to wait until I have the big following you had on social media before I get off of social?”

It was like a dagger to my heart because it showed me that I had perceived social media success status by this elusive number of followers. This person was deciding to be on this platform because of that perception. 

The second thing happened when a dear friend of mine and I got together and we were chatting about our businesses. She said, “I am struggling so hard. I think I’m going to up my social media game. I think I’m going to spend 2-3 more hours a week making content.” When I asked why, she told me that she had a client who had about a million followers and a huge following on social media. She looked like she was doing so well. 

I asked if she had ever asked her client how many hours she spends, how she feels when she’s using it, and if she’s ever had a conversation about whether it’s actually producing fruit in her business.

I posed this question to both of my friends: Why do you believe what you believe? The root we got down to was perception. “I believe _________  is successful on social media.” or “I believe you had social media success, and therefore, you not being there (Instagram) any longer means I have to do it too.”

First, a few stats that might blow your mind:

• 61% of people say that they don’t see any ROI on social media
• However, 50% of the above people have increased the time they’re spending on the platform. Don’t you think there’s something wrong with this – Increasing the time spent on social media without seeing ANY Return on Investment?

Why on earth would you continue to grow the time you’re spending in a place that doesn’t return anything back to you? Why do you believe that this is actually working? And an even bigger question: Why do you believe that social media success is the way for you to grow your online business?

4 reasons why people believe you can have social media success

I have four reasons why I think you believe what you have been told, taught, and led to believe is true. We’re going to write these things down and then we’re going to deep dive into the truth around these four things. I know that it might feel triggering for me to tell you that something you are doing probably isn’t working or is not going to work.

1. Influencers

• A Large number of followers – people think I can get off social media because I already had all this success over there.
• The reality that I know for myself to be true is that those 40,000 followers I had were not actual human beings that cared about my content. They were from my network marketing days. 
• I completely shifted my business after I had 30,000 people, so those were dead followers because my market was completely different.
• The high likes were on quotes people liked to copy and share on their Instagram accounts. I knew that and was capitalizing on it.
• We have to remember the Scripture that says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Are you using social media for the glory of God? I know I wasn’t.
• Once I got off, everything grew. At six months, everything exploded. My time came back to me tenfold. 
• None of those likes were translating into superfans or dollar bills.
• My friend’s client was having mental health issues. Maybe she’s having social media success, but at what cost?

2. Google tells us this is the answer

• This may be a total black hole conspiracy theory; like it or leave it.
• Imagine this: Google, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media; a billion-dollar industry; all communicating together – Google, how do I grow my business? How do I market? How do I get leads? How do I get conversions? How do I make money online?
• All of the results Google provides to you may say some way that leads you back to content creation on social media.
• Marketing, reels, TikTok, the biggest strategies for getting more likes and followers – Google tells us that this is the way.
• If you know anything about billion-dollar businesses, they often link back to each other and you’re constantly being led back to this place where the only way to leverage social media is to pay to play. 
• Until you have passed $200k in organic revenue, you will be wasting your money and wasting your time because it takes a lot of money to do it right. You can’t really do it yourself; you have to have experts helping you.

3. There’s no barrier to entry

• You can bust out some content and post it. Whoo Hoo! Done! Thinking your business is going to magically grow.
• When something is hard, or harder, and it actually takes effort, it’s going to be more successful. To sit down and record this episode, wasn’t hard, but it took some effort. 
• Contrast with: do a quick story that takes 30 seconds, post it, and hope that it actually converts. Conversion doesn’t work that way!
• Conversion takes you building trust with somebody else. Why would someone come and buy a thing from a 30-second story that’s random? They’re going to make a buy decision, or even decide if they like you or not, based on your long-form content.
• It’s too easy; which means everyone is doing it. Which means you’re not special. I’m sorry, but everyone is doing it so you blend in with this noise.

4. Social media is perceived as an easy way to grow

• It’s so easy; just do more, just repurpose, just get on TikTok.
• How is going viral about lipstick relative to the call on your life? It is not. It is simply a distraction!
• See it for what it is. Instead of believing what the world is painting to be truth, go inward and ask God to show you what the truth is about what you believe. You will be shocked.
• If it is perceived as easy by the world, and everybody’s doing the same thing, pause and ask yourself if it is God’s way. Often, everything the world is doing is not His way.

Here are the statistics about social media

Let’s talk about the truth now. (Stats from medium.com)

• Facebook organic reach is down to 1-6%.
• Average engagement is down 70% for the 20,000 top brands, not all of us little guys. These are the top brands. They have people to do this 24/7. They have money to spend. Their engagement is down 70%.
• If your organic reach is down to 1-6% why would you spend the time?
• 2.5-3 hours a day on average is being spent on these platforms. For me, when I was using social intentionally, thinking it was going to grow my business, I’m embarrassed to tell you that my time was sometimes around 5 hours a day.

Why are we so unwilling to look at those statistics? Right now, go look at your phone at the time spent – where is the time going?

• Why are we on our phones so much?
• Where are we spending that time on our phones?
• Is that what the Lord is asking us to do?

If all we are to do is to glorify Him, and everything we do is for the glory of God, do you really believe that this is the plan He has for us – to sit and stare at our screen for 2.5-5 hours a day?

I absolutely see this for what it is now, and it’s not His way. Social media success a distraction. It’s a ploy. We’ve got to have clear eyes.

The prayer I had for myself was: “Lord open my Spiritual Eyes. Stop letting me see what this business needs to be or how it needs to grow through earthly,  physical eyes. Open my Spiritual Eyes. Convict me of Your Truth. Show me Your Way. Lord, do Your Will here. I’m done.”

Why do you believe what you believe to be true?

I want you to write down four questions on your piece of paper.

1. What do I want?

1. I’ve brought this up a few times recently because I remember thinking I wanted a successful business and I wanted it at any cost. But when I look backward at my life, did I really want to sit on my phone for 2.5-5 hours a day?
2. I felt guilty about it because missing important connection points with my kids and my husband.
3. I didn’t feel like putting up 15 stories a day, but I felt forced to do it.
4. I didn’t want to force myself to sit there and find these quotes, that may or may not matter to someone, because I thought they would get more likes.
5. I wasn’t seeing how that was going to create this life of intentional purposefulness that I knew God had called me to. What did I want & what do you want? Get honest.

2. How much time do I actually have?

1. You need to sit down and actually do this work. Don’t just listen to this episode and think “that’s cute” – do it! Do this work. 
2. This is what I would have you do with me if you were a client or a student. If you go into Podcast to Profit, you’re going to do hard things like this.
3. Use paper or electronic format, and sit down and audit your life. Look at your week and ask yourself:
   1. Where is the time with the Lord? That goes first.
   2. Where is the time with my family? That goes second.
   3. Where are my commitments? That goes third.
   4. Where are the places for me to be fueled? Walk? Workout? Lunch with a girlfriend? Your time with a coach or mentor?
4. Look and see what’s remaining. There’s your work time. For some of you, it’s naps. You’re a nap-time warrior. Let’s get honest about the amount of time we have to work on our business.
5. Do you want that entire time to be taken up by social media that we’ve already proven only 1-6% of people actually see?
6. Redirect this time to something that actually works.

3. What is actually working?

1. If you are profitable now in your business, where did that money come from? Do you know?
2. When I sat and did this work, I found that the money was coming directly from the podcast, which was leading people into the community or the email list.
3. 90% of all my sales could be traced back to the podcast. When I realized this, I asked why am I doing what isn’t working. Let’s get rid of it!
4. Scale the thing that’s working. Go all in on what’s working! 
5. You’ve got to do something that actually means something in order to have someone else have a meaningful change. There’s no other way around growth. Let’s stop avoiding what seems scary or hard and dive in. Because that’s what’s going to actually work.

4. Who do I see that’s doing what I want to do? Who do I see growing the way I want to grow?

1. If you are going to go consume information – which is okay with me – I have an 80/20 rule. Search my podcast episode catalog, which is in our community for free at stefgasscommunity.com.
2. We have to find someone – and God will show you who it is – God has a person for you – doing what you want to do in the way He wants you to do it. Find who that is for you. Pray. Lean in. Let God lead you.  Let that be the person you yoke up with. Let their stuff be the stuff you consider purchasing. Don’t just buy a thing because everyone else is buying that thing.

Sit with the Lord and with your journal open. Sit with these pieces of information I’ve shared with you about why you believe what you believe – Influencers, Google, No barrier to entry, and it’s easy – none of which are true. 

Then compare it to the truth about social media success- low organic reach, plummeting engagement rates, massive time being spent on the platforms – and ask yourself these four simple questions.

Take the time. God wants to show you something right now. There is truth embedded in this episode just for you.

My prayer for you

I pray, with all of my heart and soul, that whatever comes through at the end of this journaling and these questions, be obedient to it. Have the courage to surrender the things God is calling you to surrender because He is at work in your life, but it doesn’t produce fruit unless you take action. You’ve got to be the one to prove your faith. You’ve got to be the one to show Him you’re willing to try something different. God is not a God Who works by saying here it is on a silver platter. He is a God Who works through itty-bitty tiny ideas, tiny trials in your life, tiny seeds, and little whispers. You are the one who has to amplify it. You’re the one who has to take action, and you are the one He’s waiting on.

It’s all up to you. 

Sometimes we have to do things that don’t make sense when it comes to the world in order to see what makes sense by God’s standards. Watch His incredible majesty work, the miracles manifest just because of Him. The way God works is so that it will all come back and glorify Him, which means we can’t do it on our own strength. We can’t do it in 3-5 hours a day and we can’t do it on our own. We have to trust that His way is 100 times better than our way. 

I pray that this will open some doors for you and unlock some new truths about social media success in your heart; give you the courage you need to finally do some things He’s been calling you to do. 

I love you so much and I know that you can do this. I’m cheering for you.

I pray this blesses you!

Xo,

Stef

P.S. Also, listen to podcast episode 571 for the full training on FOMO over Other People’s ”Social Media Success”? Get Ready to Get Triggered.

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