Friends!

Today I am answering a live question from the community, “How do your failures help your growth and mental wellness as an entrepreneur?” We dive into getting to the other side of HARD, so we can find our breakthroughs.

If you are in a season of stuck, stagnant, or so over it – this one is for you!

I pray this blesses you!

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:07)
Oh, my gosh, this is so crazy. Lady, friends. We have officially passed 100,000 downloads together on this podcast. I mean, my heart is exploding. I am beyond belief that this has grown into something that we can learn from and we can grow together. And God has blessed this show by bringing me each and every one of you. And I’m just sitting here in immense gratitude. Thank you. Thank you for being part of this sisterhood with me, for being one of my Lolas. I love you so much.

(02:54)
Welcome to this 10 by 10 episode, I have my girl Julia Busby and she is a podcaster who is passionate about mental health and wellness as well as helping women market their business using podcasting and Pinterest. Y’all know I get some fierce fired up about Pinterest. Yes. Connect with Julia after this Q and A at juliabusby.com or her IG at JuliaMBusby. Hey Julia. Hey, I’m so happy you to be here with you Stef. So I would like to start my first question for you. Are you ready? I’m ready.

(04:10)
What would you say to your younger self? So I’m thinking eight to 10 year old Stef. I think what I would probably tell her is, listen, there’s gonna be a long period of your life where what other people say to you will feel devastating. It’s gonna feel like it’s the truth. It’s gonna feel like you’re not good enough or they’re making fun of you or insert blank here and it’s gonna keep you afraid. And you’re gonna wonder if you’re good enough. You’re gonna wonder, you know, what type of person you are.

(04:54)
I would just tell you that all of those things are lies because what other people say about you and to you, that’s damaging is really coming from inside of them and they are hurt and they are scared. So be brave, little girl, keep your head up. You are amazing and you’re worthy and God’s got this. I love that so much. And it’s so deep. Inner child work really gets me. All right. Number two. How do you tend to your mental health while being an amazing business babe?

(05:27)
So I think mental health is so different for so many people. So I wanna start by saying, you have to find what works for you. And for me, I think there are different phases of my life. I’ve needed different things in the area of mental health and self care and all of that. And you know, for a while it was like actual therapy and getting through like we were talking about, you know, child work, things like that. Right. And then for a period of time, it was stepping away from work because I’d gone through that big, you know, circa Brit Spears breakdown in 2016. Did you shave your hair? I didn’t it, but you know what? Like it came close.

(06:15)
So after getting to the therapy work, then I had me work to do, and that was forgiveness that was writing the letters, having the hard conversations and doing self work and letting go of business for a while. Now that I’m in kind of this operational, everything’s really groovy for me right now, it looks different. So I think you have to ask yourself an inventory, where do I sit today and what do I need to get my mental health back on track? And then once it’s on track, what do I need to fuel it? So today it’s an hour in the morning, prayer time in my With God, She Rises journal, scripture, me time.

(06:56)
It’s an hour at the gym, just me by myself, no kids getting in the flow, doing what I love to do. It’s getting a massage as often as humanly possible so that I can break free and just be. And so those three things, oh, and turning off social media, every single weekend, like hardcore non-negotiable for me. Those things are what now keep me at that optimal kind of mental state. So, keep up with your maintenance once you know what your plan is. I think so. Yeah. And knowing that when it’s time for more help, like a coach or mentor in whichever area, when you’re really in that dark space and you can’t seem to crawl through yourself.

(07:46)
Along with prayer and the spiritual side, sometimes we just have to raise our hand and say, I’m kind of in that spot and it’s okay. And you have permission to get help, whatever that might look like for you. I love that. That’s perfect. And your final question. How have your trials, including your epic failures in business prepared you to build your brand and business now? Oh gosh. Without epic failures, without things falling apart, you know, zero launches. I’ve had group coaching that flopped, courses that flopped, I’ve done completely the wrong business model.

(08:32)
I started a blog about how to decorate your home, like, who am I? Like you guys I’ve done so much crap in my life that made absolutely zero sense. And some of it was right. And some of it was just not, and a lot of it was a failure, but if I didn’t have all of that stuff, I wouldn’t have learned through it. I wouldn’t have been able to understand Pinterest, or understand blogging. I wouldn’t know copy or how to do a course, how to launch a podcast. How to attract the right woman. I sold in a way that was super spammy and weird, and I got defriended. I lost friendships over it, but if I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t understand the woman who’s still doing it. Who needs me to say, look, I feel you.

(09:25)
So I think what all of that mess and that hard and the struggles and those failures do for you is they give you the gift of empathy towards your future customer, client, student, et cetera. They give you the stories to resonate with her. They give you the testimony to go and create impact in the world. And so if you look back, even wherever you sit today, however old you are, whatever you’ve been through, look back at all the times you thought you had a failure, pull from that, the top three things that it did for you that were actually a blessing in disguise. And you’re gonna see a recurring trend.

(10:02)
You’re gonna see that every time something amazing came from it that you couldn’t see when you were sitting in it. So it’s everything, it’s what’s created success. Right. And I really like that, accepting our flaws and failures and really celebrating those because you know, with society and the norms that we grow up with and we’re pre-programmed with, like, everything is perfect. And, that’s really not true. So, I really, really enjoy your answer on that, my friend. Yay. Well, you have three minutes. If you can think of anything else you wanna know. Let me see, was it really scary stepping out into the podcasting world and letting your community or your friends know about it?

(10:47)
I’m a three on the Enneagrams, I know I’m a weirdo, I’m like that chick that I just do stuff before I really think through it. I’m like I am just gonna do it. Yeah. You know what was scary though? It wasn’t scary to launch the show, because I was already talking about that stuff. Okay. What was scary was to drop the veils and to talk about like getting my breast implants removed, that was flipping terrifying. Like anything that was outside of business. For me, that was really terrifying. And when I started the show, I decided they’re getting all of it.

(11:22)
If I’m the brand, I’m talking to her as if she’s literally my best friend on the other side of this, you know, table drinking coffee with me, I would tell my friends this deep dark stuff. I would tell them when I failed, I would tell them the truth about my business, about whatever. So I’m gonna talk to my Lolas just the same way. And when I decided that that’s when anxiety crept in, because I was doubtful if I should. Yeah, it was uncomfortable. It’s like, anytime you have to be really vulnerable about something that you think will bring judgment, it makes you squirmy and it makes you afraid. But here’s the cool thing.

(12:02)
When you push through those anxieties, whatever that is launching a podcast, launching a blog, doing a course, taking the first client, going on Instagram stories for the first time, everybody’s at a different place in their fear, which is interesting, because I’m like, oh, you’re, you’re scared of that? Like it’s different. I love that one. Like rock on, let yourself just be you. And here’s the beauty of it. Anytime you push through a fear and you just do it anyway, regardless of the anxiety that you have on behind it, you will grow and the next time will be easier. And then the next time will be easier. And before you know, it, you’re almost addicted to pushing yourself.

(12:43)
I don’t know if you found that, Julia, but for me I’m like, okay, what’s the next thing I’m afraid of because now I’m comfy and God didn’t call me to be comfy. He asked me to be fearless and died just so I could pave the way for other people that are sitting in a more fearful space than me. So that was really empowering for me to be able to come out and shine the light on mental health and support women, in self-improvement skills through my show. To just break through that barrier because a lot of us are hiding in silence. So, just empowering in that sense. And like you said, like tackling that fear and then wanting to do it over and over again because you see the impact that it holds is really amazing.

(13:28)
Seeing the impact. That’s huge. Like you actually get to see the change and you’re like, oh, what if I would’ve just sat here afraid this would’ve never happened. I wouldn’t have ever helped that person break through mental health or break through whatever it is that you know y’all do. So, I hope you loved that quick 10 by 10 and that you took away some value to help you in your own life and business. And I want you to know that I am bringing on more women where you will get 10 minutes to ask me anything, just like this. Sending you off with love and light. I will see you again tomorrow. XO XO, Stef.