Have you been wondering how to overcome comparisonitis & imposter syndrome as an online entrepreneur (or maybe just as a mom, wife, or woman…. comparison is so real).
In the past week or 2, I’ve been comparing and feeling less than and all whaaaaaa woe is me and I decided I needed a good talking to. I figured I’d do it on the air because if I’m struggling with imposter syndrome and comparisonitis, you probably are, too.
Buckle up because this BONUS episode is sure to set your head and your heart on what actually matters – Him.
I pray this blesses you!
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
(00:11) Hey friends, I am putting together this bonus episode for you totally unexpectedly. I was not planning on doing a bonus episode because this month I have the most stellar content for you. Maybe ever. We have multiple coaching sessions. I have guests that are phenomenal, and I know you’re going to absolutely love the lineup I have for you. So if you haven’t, be sure you’re subscribed. I don’t want you to miss any of this and hint, hint. I air the episodes the night before, and if you’re subscribed and in my email list, you get to be the first to listen.
(01:50) The reason I’m putting together this bonus episode is because I’m walking through a season in the past, maybe a week and a half of comparisonitis and imposter syndrome, personally, me, myself and I, and I don’t ever want to come at you from a place of, Oh, well, I did this and I fixed this. And so now I’m ready to share it. I also want to come at you and come with you on the journey. I want you to know that everyone in every walk of this journey has hard times, and that includes me and showing you the hard and the vulnerable and even moments when I’m just in it, I think is so important for you to know you’re not alone.
(02:40) Also this journey, it never stops throwing curve balls at you, you’ll have a big win and then you’ll be like, Ooh, snap. Like, ah, I wasn’t ready for that one. And it’s just part of the game. And you just have to learn to roll with it and love it and be at peace with. So here I am rocking a very successful podcast. I can’t like sit and be still with it. I literally need Holy Spirit to work through me for this episode because I have prepared zero notes anyway. Here I sit running a very, I believe very successful show. Okay.
(03:33) I decided when I set out to do my podcast, I was going to compare it against myself and make sure that every month I was sharing my heart and my soul and that I was being true to what God called me to show up for, which is the Christian mompreneur community. That I would only compare my download stats to my own download stats. So month one against month two, month six against month three, like you can only compare apples to apples.
(04:05) Anyway, I recently have been coming into some crazy comparisonitis. So what does that mean? Comparisonitis is when you compare yourself to someone else and you get focused on it and you feel like, Oh, they’re better than me. And you know, who am I to do this? I’m like, you’re just so focused on others. And interestingly, I took a screenshot of a couple of Bible verses about comparisonitis okay. It wasn’t like the Bible says this about comparisonitis, but these are some of the verses that I think really spoke to my heart about comparing. And here’s what happened.
(04:47) Let me give you the story. Cause I’m such a visual learner. You guys, I have the most insane affiliate relationship about to pop up. Like this person has millions and millions of downloads on her show. She has an insane business model, multi seven figure businesses. And she is going to be promoting my podcast course. Like I can’t even, I don’t even know that this is, is it really happening to me right now? Because it’s such a God thing and it’s so big and it’s so amazing. And I don’t even know, am I like, am I dreaming? Okay.
(05:26) So this insanely incredible relationship is blossoming and about to take. Like, I don’t even know how you say that about to transpire in the world. So of course I know we’ve been working really closely together getting all the things ready. And I go and I listen to her latest episode, and she’s doing an interview with someone else about podcasting kind of preparing her market for the launch of my course, for her affiliate relationship for she’s about to make affiliate sales. Of course it’s a huge win-win opportunity for both of us, much bigger win for me I feel like, because I don’t have millions of downloads.
(06:05) I don’t even have hundreds of thousands of downloads. Right? So I’m over here like, Oh my gosh, is this really about to happen? I’m about to help so many people launch and scale podcasts, which is as you guys know something I’m extremely passionate about and I’m listening to her interview, someone else about podcasting and it’s great. They’re priming the audience. And this girl is like, yeah, I have this new show. It’s less than a year old. And we’ve passed 500,000 downloads. And like right when she said that, I just felt so deflated. I’m like, here I am. I’m just nothing compared to that show.
(06:45) I don’t, you know, I don’t even have a hundred thousand downloads and I started to compare myself and I went and looked up her show and I’m looking at her website and I’m looking at her content. I’m like, why is she better than me? Why is her community spreading faster than mine? Why is her podcast exploding? And all of these limiting beliefs came in and then I started going even deeper into the spiral. Does this happen for you guys? Let me now spiral out of control because that’s healthy. Then I go, Oh, you know, maybe this isn’t the right affiliate relationship. Like, am I qualified to teach podcasting?
(07:24) I mean, what if my course isn’t good enough? And what if everybody finds out that I’m not a million downloads show and then they don’t want to take my course. Then, you know, everything falls apart and I’m a big fraud. And then I get into imposter syndrome of I’m not worthy of this. I’m not worthy of this relationship. Is my course? Am I qualified to teach this? I feel like a fake, a fraud. And that’s where I went. That’s where I went. And I stumbled upon these verses today. As I just, like, I kept finding myself in that head space of like comparisonitis, am I worthy? Am I worthy of the provision and favor that’s about to come through from this relationship. Right?
(08:12) Galatians 1:10, it says, am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people, if I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. And so that really gut checked me because are we, am I doing my podcast for people? Yeah, sure. I am. I’m doing it for you. And I really want you to know that you can literally have the life of your dreams at peace and taste of heaven here on earth, because that’s God’s promise to you. And I want you to get out of your own way and conquer your fear and know the how to, and be able to transfer my zone of genius, which is sales and marketing and messaging and copy.
(08:58) And all of the things in between that have to do with building a scalable online brand, a business and hand them to you. Because if you have the how, and then you have the belief that I believe the Christian and the mindset piece of what I bring to the show will give to you. You can be unstoppable because God told me that because that’s what I heard. That’s my whole, the Holy spirit moments that I have had confirming why I started the show in the first place. But it’s ultimately not for how many people I can touch. It’s not for how much success that brings me how much money that brings me or how many downloads I get.
(09:34) It’s because God asked me to do it, right? It’s not to please myself, which is the hardest thing in the world. You guys is to break self. Like you have to break ego and self down and smash it and let it die. Like I literally have to let myself and the ego piece of me die so that I can hand it to God and just say for your glory, for your glory, for your glory, if there’s one human that listens to the show that becomes a world changer, does the mission work that God has called that woman to do? And Hey, maybe it’s you, maybe you’re the person listening to this right now. And you have a call on your heart and you have a story to share.
(10:22) I was supposed to do this episode and this podcast, and you were supposed to listen to me on purpose because the ripple effect of us together is the world change that God has in mind, but we don’t know that today. And that’s the hard part. Yeah. Another one, Galatians 6:4, each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else. To me, what I hear when I read that verse is self-inventory sister. Like, why do you care? And I’m talking to myself here, you guys, okay, this is me preaching to myself because I’m in this space.
(11:08) I’m not pointing my finger at any of you, except back at my own self. So if this is resonating with, you know, that it’s hitting me in exactly the same space, but it’s, self-inventory like, why do I care what that girl’s download numbers are her? Show has nothing to do with me. Her mission has nothing to do with me. And the fact that my course was chosen through this affiliate relationship. I think that that is, I know that that is a God thing. God positioned me in such a way to build a relationship with this person so that we could gain trust and credibility and start to network and work together. And over time, build credibility and trust.
(11:50) She started to see what my course was doing in the marketplace. And I pitched her on it and said, Hey girl, how do you do you think we should, you know, collaborate on this? Holy smokes, she said, yes. And you know what? That means I am worthy of that because God said, so God would not have allowed that relationship to transpire and the whole playout of the events to happen if he didn’t want it. So, okay, last one, Romans 12:6, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be. Enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other or trying to be something we are let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be.
(12:41) Were all of us meant to be millionaires? No, were all of us meant to have millions of dollars, downloads or millions of viewers on our YouTube channel or hundreds of thousands of advertisements on our blog. Now some of us are so important to the mission because we’re a piece of the puzzle. Maybe we are sitting in a space like Ruth from the Bible, and Ruth didn’t know that her actions and going with her mother-in-law would end up ripple effects, being a huge ripple effect of all of the important people that were to follow all the important people that were to follow from Ruth, moving to one place. And she didn’t know it as she sat there.
(13:35) If you guys don’t know the story, go read it. It’s amazing. Amazing. But we don’t understand that ripple effect of God’s hand. All we do, all we can do is be obedient. So that’s me talking to Him. Yeah. Myself. Now that’s comparisonitis and a little bit of imposter syndrome. So let me share with you a little bit more imposter syndrome that I’ve been facing. When I started the show, this podcast, I decided to let my Christian flag fly. Okay. And I’m gonna be really honest with you. I, for the first time, you know, really started reading the Bible at age 30 and got true relationship with God.
(14:14) I’ve always been a Christian, but I’ve never had true relationship with God until, you know, I went through my dark moment and kind of finding who I was again, after the whole network marketing thing. Yeah. And so here I am showing up and I knew I wanted women in business and mompreneurs. And all of you to know that you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you, that you have, God’s hand with you holding your hand, bringing you with him.
(14:46) And that all things come from him, our business, our finances. I just kind of wanted to pair this idea of our greatest power and provision and favor and money and success and all of this worldly stuff that we battle with and bring it full circle into you can have Heaven on earth, but it’s through Him. And here’s how you can do it once you’ve understood the call in your heart. Once you understand what God’s asking you to do here are the pieces of the puzzle that now can get you to move forward, to ultimately experience favor and do more work here on earth for him, right?
(15:24) Cause it takes money to do and create change. And I think God wants us to have money. It’s simply a means of exchange to go and do more of his work in my opinion. And as long as we’re not idolizing it, it’s a good thing. If it brings you joy and it doesn’t hurt you and you’re not idolizing it and it’s not replacing the Lord, ultimately, I believe it’s a good, it’s a good thing. So here’s where the impostor syndrome comes in. I got asked to do some speaking, a month ago at a mops group. So it’s like at the church and all these moms come together and they have speakers. And this girl’s like, Oh my gosh, I love your show. And I’d love for you to come speak at our mops group. Immediately, I was like, Oh no, no, no.
(16:09) Like I don’t do, I don’t do speaking engagements, not into it. And there is a piece of truth behind that. You guys, because speaking is not what it’s cut out to be. It’s the 10 seconds of glamour that you see doesn’t necessarily really feel that way with all the travel and the work. And it’s really just a labor of love if you love it, because it’s really not that profitable, unless you’re super fancy. Okay. So I’m like, Ooh, no, no, no, I don’t do that. And then I really sat on that. Like, why do I feel that way?
(16:40) I felt like, because I wanted to pair this spiritual side of things, but yet, am I Christian enough? Because, I don’t have the Bible memorized. I can’t even recite the books of the Bible to you in order. Like, who am I? Who am I? I’m not qualified to speak God’s word. I’m not smart enough. I always make excuses for myself too in Bible study. I’m like, Oh, I’m just the dumbest person in the room. Like, I’m good. I’m just learning. I’m here to learn. And I think that’s me being afraid that someone’s gonna find out like, she’s a fraud. She doesn’t have the Bible memorized. Like she doesn’t know scripture well enough. She interpreted that verse wrong.
(17:33) She’s a phony because she goes to Zumba or she likes the Enneagram or insert all the hundreds of reasons why Christians aren’t Christian enough. And recently that’s just been getting at my heart. I’m like, it would have been easier if I just was a Christian with a business podcast instead of running a Christian actual Christian based podcast. And then I thought about that for a second. And I recognized, well, God didn’t call me to do what’s easy. He didn’t call me to recite verses. He didn’t call me to get up and stand up there and preach right from wrong.
(18:24) None of it, all he did was call me to empower women, to literally claim their best life, to literally fall in love with their life, the journey, all of the glorious miracles to remove the veil from their eyes, from the beauty that surrounds them every single day. That’s what he called me for. He called me to shift their mindset back to Him so that He could work through me to empower these women, to go out and make an impact on them. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I have to recite a scripture for you to feel my passion in that message.
(19:04) It’s important that He bring you back to the Bible and God’s word because it’s important that you know, I’m trustworthy and that I’m pulling my references from a quality space, which is ultimately His word. But I don’t think that that’s what I have to do in order to be effective at doing God’s work. Yeah. Then the message here, I guess that I want to share with you is that, or the takeaway, right? Is that you are qualified if you are called, you are already qualified.
(19:40) If you have two views on that last live video, one of those people is on purpose. Okay? If you have it on your heart to start the YouTube channel and your first video is a total flop and there’s five views. Maybe you were supposed to do that so that you could get prepared for the next one, which is going to be insanely insanely successful. Okay. And who cares what somebody else’s numbers look like because you don’t know their journey and it doesn’t matter. We can’t compare ourselves to someone else’s journey. You guys have heard the saying, you can’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter 20. Everybody’s book is different.
(20:22) Everybody’s life cycle here on earth is different. And the phases of success, it’s all different for each person. So the only person that you can listen to judge you is God. And all I hear God whispering to me every single day, Stefanie, stay true. Keep going, be consistent. One foot in front of the other stay true. The call I gave you go. He is not telling me, compare yourself to her. Be more perfect like that person, because you don’t have X amount of downloads or because you don’t know every single book of the Bible inside and out, you are not qualified. That is not what God is saying to me. What about you? What is God saying to you right now in this season?
(21:11) How can you overcome comparing feeling not good enough? Those moments of insecurity and weakness and spiritual warfare that come upon you when you just want to give up and curl in a ball and say, it would be easier if I quit, maybe I shouldn’t have done this. Maybe, this isn’t for me, ask yourself. Who gave you the call and the direction and the feeling in your heart to do it in the first place. And go back to that place, go back to that space, ask God to give you strength and resilience. As you continue fighting for the dream you have in your heart.
(21:52) I needed this message as much as you because we are weak. So let’s pray together. Sister, I pray over all of us, myself included right now that we can find strength. God, we can find strength in you that you prepare our hearts and give us resistance and resilience against this world against comparison and feeling less than and lack. Remind us that we are enough in this space right here, right now, however much provision and favor and whatever you’ve gifted us is enough. We are blessed and we are grateful and we are ready and prepared for the next call that you whisper into our hearts and that we can be obedient to you Lord.
(22:40) And that we can show up constantly and consistently, and we believe you. And we trust in your promises, God, because you always make good on your promise. We are stead fast soldiers. We are steadfast soldiers to you, Lord, and your direction is the only direction that we hear. Praying over you, sister. I’m sending you a huge virtual hug and know that you’re not alone in this season, but let’s keep fighting. Okay? I’m with you. I’ll see you soon. As always, love and light, Stef.
The more I get to know my students and the more I participate in masterminds with my peers the more I’m starting to comprehend the overarching problem and prevalence of one, perfectionism, and two, overthinking.
Perfectionism keeps us in a place of constant consumption and learning. Redoing things over and over and thinking that we can’t move forward until they measure up to some elusive standard.
Why do I believe we need a morning routine? I believe you must have a morning routine because it helps you get into the mindset of productivity and purpose.
When we get right with God we: Renew Our Minds
Get Into the Word
Are Able to Live Our Life Guided by the Holy Spirit
The difference in how my day goes when I do my morning routine and when I don’t is night and day.