5 Ways to Get Comfortable With Constructive Criticism

Hey Friend!

Time to talk about constructive criticism! I should just be called Stefanie “Constructive Criticism” Gass because I’m a business coach. I’m a podcast coach. Do you know how difficult it is on a weekly basis because I am the one who tells people that their stuff could be better? I have to be the one to call someone out and say that their thing doesn’t make sense, or I don’t understand what that means, or why we have things this way. 

The truth about me is that I’m a straight shooter. The reality is that I’ve had to get comfortable with constructive criticism in order to get where I am today. I know the power of being able to take constructive criticism with grace and put it to work for me so that I could have a much faster result.

I used to have a real problem being told that my stuff wasn’t already good enough even though I was learning, growing, being scrappy, and taking some messy action.  But now I get so excited when someone has constructive criticism for me because it helps me so much.

We receive it all the time. We get emails and have forms asking people to give us constructive criticism. In my email sequences, I ask people why they didn’t purchase. I’m so here for the growth and I want you to get there too. 

Constructive Criticism: Tough Love Time

I know that constructive criticism can be really hard to hear and hard to take, especially when you have just poured out your heart and soul, and you’ve tried, shown up, done the work, and taken the course. Then you hear me or one of the coaches say something to you or ask a question about it. It’s so difficult not to take it as a personal attack. 

Let me be clear here. There are differences between being personally attacked and someone saying something in love to help you grow and be the best version of yourself. I am talking about option B where you receive it in love and encouragement; stretching you to grow in the best way you can. 

Constructive criticism is an incredibly valuable tool for you to grow and improve. This is on both personal and professional levels.  We’re talking about overcoming that fear of constructive criticism and learning to embrace the feedback so you can move forward in your business and get better. I want you to get out of your own way when you receive feedback and be able to use it to become a better entrepreneur, better podcaster, and to have the best possible stuff out in the world working for you.

We’re going to put on some tough love today and learn five ways to get comfortable with constructive criticism!

Tough Love Stef

For those people who say, “I’m here for constructive criticism. I want Stef to yell at me all day, every day for six months,” – I’m just kidding. It takes a lot for me to yell. But I do get real with my students. If you want a business coach who is unapologetic about helping you become great for the glory of God, I want that opportunity. Go to stefaniegass.com/school and see all the ways we can work together.

You can also check out my free workshop at podcastforgrowth.com to see how podcasting can be the answer to growing an audience in way less time than you ever thought possible.

Constructive Criticism? Here are 5 Ways to Get Comfortable With It

Let me preface this by saying: I don’t want you to hide from getting feedback anymore. This is not an ‘ask 100 people what they think about me’ situation. This is seeking out wise counsel; whether it’s a business coach, spiritual mentor, or someone in a mastermind, and asking for honest, real feedback on how you can be better, how your brand could be more professional, and/or how you could be more clear. It’s getting out of your own way and not hiding from the best version of yourself.

For so many years, I hid from the best version of myself because I didn’t want to be called out. I didn’t want someone to tell me that something could be better because I didn’t want to do the work. I thought I already did the work and I didn’t want to do it again. Well, my friend, work is never done. I was also wearing some weird badge of honor that I was the one who knew best. The reality is that there is always someone farther than me. I should be so apt to find those people and learn from them.

This year has been my year of learning and my year of growth. I’ve already been to two masterminds and it’s May 3rd as I’m doing this.  This is my year of getting out of my own way so I can go next level and that means a whole lot of constructive criticism. If I can be here for it, you can too.

No. 1: Don’t Take Constructive Criticism Personally

The first step to getting comfortable with constructive criticism is to develop a thick skin.  The truth is not everybody’s going to like what you’re doing. That’s okay! Feedback can be valuable even if it’s not what we expect.

Remember, criticism is not about you as a person. It’s not about your character. It’s not because someone doesn’t like you or is picking on you. Rather, it’s about the work, brand, or mission you’re putting into the world. 

Look at feedback as an opportunity to grow, learn, and improve. Stop taking it personally.

I got an email from a student who was very upset about a change we made. My defenses immediately went up and I was so mad. My team calmed me down and helped me look at this feedback objectively and remove myself from it. Ask if there’s any truth to it. We ended up rereading the feedback and making changes because she was actually right. The reason I was upset was because I took it as a personal attack when that was not at all what she was doing. 

We have to be careful not to take constructive criticism personally but to look through it from the lens of the person saying it. If it’s a business coach, they’re not doing it to belittle you or hurt your feelings; they’re doing it to make you better. If it’s from your spouse, it’s probably to protect you. From your community or students? They may be confused about something. 

Don’t take it personally.

No. 2: Be Open-Minded

When you receive feedback, it’s important that you approach it with an open mind and open heart. Don’t immediately dismiss it or become defensive like I did. Take a step back and consider the feedback objectively. Ask yourself questions. Remember that feedback, constructive or unconstructive, will come with emotion. It’s easy to get defensive or upset.  

Remove the emotion from the feedback and just ask yourself if there’s any truth in the feedback. Is there any way this feedback could be true? You will get the answers you seek. Often, when we get any kind of feedback, especially negative, it’s because something was either miscommunicated, not clear, or not your best work. 

There is often truth in whatever the person is saying. We have to remove the emotion and the negative feelings or words from the feedback to get to the root of what they’re actually saying.

Ask yourself:

• Is this true at all?
• Is this feedback valid? 
• What, if anything, can I learn from this?

Chances are there is something to be gained even from the harshest critiques. I know there has been for me and for us as a company.

No. 3: Separate Your Pride From Your Work – or Your Ego

As business owners and entrepreneurs, it’s easy to become emotionally attached to the work we’ve created, as you should. It’s your calling; your purpose, the stuff God’s asking you to do. It’s scary being called out because it’s not the best it could be.  You put in a lot of time and effort; it becomes part of you.  This makes it more difficult to receive criticism or feedback. It feels like a personal attack. 

To overcome this, we have to separate our pride & ego from our work. We do our work, but we are not our work. We are in Christ; we are not in our work; doing work for the Kingdom of God.  Our work is simply an extension of what we’re doing while we’re here. 

Work is not a reflection of self-worth; it’s not your identity. Once you realize this, you will be better equipped to take feedback and use it for self-growth and improvement.  I constantly ask myself: “Is this work I’m doing about glorifying me? Or is the work I’m doing to glorify God?”

If it’s to glorify God, it’s my responsibility to:

• Care about the feedback I receive.
• Care about constructive criticism.
• Make it the best it can be.
• Learn from people who go before me.
• Hear from the mentors God sends my way.

I need to humble myself and make changes to my business when they are warranted. Not every piece of feedback is warranted. As you grow your brand and get more people in your audience, you will hear more negativity, some of which is not founded on truth. Those you are going to throw out.

But when you receive feedback in love, from people who care about you, even if they are delivering it with emotion, it matters.

No. 4: Take Action

In order for feedback to be valuable, we have to do something with it. Hopefully, you’ve listened to Episode 607 in which I talked about the word ‘immediately’ being in the New Testament 79 times and why we have to take action now.

Don’t just file away the feedback and forget about it or get mad and delete it. That’s not helpful. Instead, use the emails you get or the negative review you read, as a roadmap for how to move forward. Consider the feedback objectively, ask yourself those questions, and decide what changes you might need to make. Then create a plan for how to implement those changes.

Constructive criticism is only useful if we improve from it. 

Many of my students have received negative reviews on their podcasts, and they get so angry about it. They get upset, push forward, and maybe even call that person out on the show. When I read negative reviews, I ask myself, “Why would this person feel this way?”

• Is there something tactically that I can do better?
• Did something I say upset someone?
• Do I need to address it?
• Do I need to apologize?

The truth is: you have a platform and it’s your responsibility to speak in love, to be light,  to be the salt of the earth, and to be the hands and feet of Christ. No matter what. I don’t care what you’re teaching, even if you have a secular podcast. You are still glorifying God just by opening your mouth.

You have a responsibility to be the best you can be and to handle every situation with grace and love, and as the best, most mature, version of yourself possible. That includes negative reviews. It includes angry emails. Handle it. Learn from it. Take action.

No. 5: Develop a Growth Mindset

The last key to getting comfortable with constructive criticism is to develop a growth mindset. Instead of seeing feedback as a personal attack, as something to get angry about, see it as an opportunity to learn, grow, improve, and become your best.  Embrace challenges and obstacles as chances to be better.

If everything was so easy and everyone in the world loved you, you would have no opportunity to stretch. You would have no opportunity to become the best version of yourself. I look for those opportunities to get better and do more. 

I’ve had to redo my courses over and over again because of feedback because there are things that can be better, and because they weren’t the best that I could put into the world. So I redo them. I rerecord and they get better. It’s excruciating. I’ve recorded over 600 podcast episodes; not everyone has been nice to me along the way. I’ve received emails that are hateful and mean. We’ve handled them with grace and almost all of the time I’ve turned the other cheek and taken the beating. There are rewards for that behavior. Rise up to the best version of yourself when dealing with negative criticism.

Constructive Criticism Conclusion

Remember: constructive criticism is actually helpful. Let’s take it, employ it, use it, and grow from it! At the end of the day, constructive criticism is hard, but it’s essential for you to grow. Learning how to get comfortable with it is going to help you be a better entrepreneur, business owner, and podcaster.

By developing a thick skin, being open-minded, separating your pride and ego from your work, taking action, and developing that growth mindset, you can turn constructive criticism into an opportunity for success! Feedback is part of your journey; it’s up to you to use it wisely.

I pray this blesses you!

Xo,

Stef

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