Spiritually Connect with Your Kids in 10-20 Minutes a Day!

Hey Friend!

Today I have the most special guest of all time, my son Miles. He is 8 and he is one of the wisest and smartest kids I know (do all parents say that?!). I brought him on to talk about how he and I connect spiritually each day and what that has meant to him. He explains what our spiritual connection points look like, and what we do within each one.

If you’ve been wanting to help your kids know Jesus more deeply, or guide them in spiritual growth that makes sense to THEM (all while fitting it into your busy working mom life)… this episode is a must.

I will be sharing how YOU can find 10-20 minute slots in your day to build connection points and what to do inside those times to help your kids build a real relationship with Christ.

And, if you think Miles did a great job, please leave a review and shout him out so I can show him!

I pray this blesses you.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:00):
What’s up, my friends? Today, we are jamming on why you are not clear on your niche. I hope you can

(00:00):
Hey, friends! Welcome to today’s podcast episode. You are in for such a treat because my eight-year-old Miles is actually going to be here on the show with us live.

And I can’t wait for you to hear his perspective on today’s topic, which is how to spiritually connect with your kids in 10-20 minutes a day.

(00:23):
And this is something that I have actively sought after over the past probably year, in my motherhood was, Gosh, how do I find these perfect connection points and these perfect opportunities to really go deeper spiritually with my kids when time is limited.

(00:43):
They’re in full-time school and I’m running this business and we have soccer practice and basketball practice, and we’re active in the church and we have lots of family that lives here, and we’re always doing stuff with friends. Where’s the time to connect?

(01:00):
And then how do I actually connect with my boys on a deeper level and kind of help them understand more about God, scripture, the Bible, and help it be relevant to their life where they’re at.

(01:14):
And so today Miles, and I actually go through a live example of this with all of you on what we talk about when we talk about it and how he views our spiritual connection time. So I cannot wait for you to hear this.

(01:29):
And I just wanna, before we dig in, take you, guys, through a few verses, and then I wanna talk to you a little bit about after we get finished with Miles, I’m gonna bring it full circle through you to talk about where else you can find these connection points throughout the day.

(01:44):
So, Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. This verse blesses me so much because I think as parents, one of my worries or fears is that my children fall away.

(02:03):
They walk away from God or they turn away from God and their salvation is at stake. And so what I love about this promise from scripture is that if we train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it. So he’s going to come home.

(02:18):
He’s going to know the truth about Jesus and will have planted those seeds that he can take with him through his or her life later, that he can lean on and that he can actually then generationally pass on to their kids.

(02:34):
And I wanna note something here. This verse does not say, talk about the way he should go. It does not say speak about the way he should go. It literally says the word, train.

Train up a child in the way he should go. So I think that it’s really up to us as moms and dads to take a position of authority and to step into the teacher role in our homes, to train up our children.

(03:07):
And in the way he should go, while the way you should go is scripture. The way you should go is the way that God says in his word. But I think we have to help kids understand one of the biggest mistakes I believe the church or religion made.

Definitely in prior decades, when religion looked a lot different than it does today was memorization of verses or prayer that felt very dry and cold and had no real meaning, no connection to kids.

(03:37):
And so kids created this belief about who God is and what it means to be a Christian or whatever other religion they grew up in. That followed them into adulthood. They don’t know a real true relationship.

(03:50):
And if there’s one thing that I wanna make sure that I do well, it’s to train up my children how to have a real, tangible, emotional, real-life experience with God to know that the holy spirit is alive and leading them and that they have a best friend in Jesus.

(04:11):
And then one more, this is a little longer, but I want you to stay with me for a moment here. This is from Deuteronomy chapter 11. I’m starting in verse 13.

And if you will indeed obey my commandments that I command you today to love the Lord, your God, and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul, He will give the rain for your land in its season, noted.

(04:36):
The early rain, the latter rain that you may gather in the grain and your wine and your oil, and He will give grass in your fields for your livestock and you shall eat and be full.

What does this mean? He’s going to take care of you. If you what? Love Him and serve Him with all your heart.

(04:53):
Verse 16, take care, lest your heart be deceived and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them. Then the anger of the Lord will be kindled against you.

And He will shut up the heaven so there will be no rain and the land will yield no fruit. And you will perish quickly off the good land the Lord is giving you.

(05:08):
So basically take care that you are not deceived. So be mindful and discerning of the tricks of the enemy so that heaven’s blessings are not removed from your life.

(05:19):
So then it says in verse 18, you shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and bind them as a sign on your hand. And they shall be the frontlets between your eyes. What does this mean?

Literally live by these words, they’re in your heart, they’re in your soul, they’re on your hands, in your eyes. They’re literally everything. They’re all of you.

(05:38):
You embody these commandments, which are what? Love the Lord, your God, and serve Him with your heart and your soul.

(05:47):
Then this next one is where we bring it full circle and it has to do with our children. Verse 19, you shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you’re sitting in your house.

And when you’re walking, by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.

(06:07):
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord soar to your fathers to give them as long as the heavens are above the earth.

(06:25):
For if you will be careful to do all this commandment that I command you to do, loving the Lord, walking in His ways, and holding fast to Him, then the Lord will drive out all these nations for you and you will dispossess nations greater and mightier than you.

(06:42):
I mean, it goes on and on. Just go, spend a hot minute in Deuteronomy 11, and tell me that there are not so many lessons, number one, for us as parents about how we should live, but then about how we should teach. And it specifically says in verse 19, you shall teach them to your children.

(07:07):
Talk of them when you walk by them. When you lie down, when you rise, you shall write them on the doorposts of your house.

So not only does it direct us to teach our children, but it directs us to talk about these commandments, to post them up in our homes, in our hearts, on our doorposts.

(07:26):
And this is for me, literal and figuratively, the doorpost of your heart and home that is in your soul, and that is in your house.

So I just love this so much that there are so many instances of God’s leading in scripture, helping us to be equipped as teachers of our kids.

(07:48):
Let’s go take a listen to Miles and my conversation, and then I’m gonna pop back in and give you guys some more tactical ways that you can connect with your kids in 10-20 minutes a day in these super-quick connection points. Let’s do it!

(09:01):
Well, I’m sitting here next to my son. Hey, Miles!

(09:05):
Hello!

(09:06):
How old are you, bud?

(09:08):
Eight.

(09:09):
Are we sitting outside your school waiting for you to go have a great Monday?

(09:13):
Yep.

(09:13):
I wanted to talk to everybody today about how you and I use our drive time to learn cool stuff about Jesus, God, and have some good conversations. What do you think?

(09:27):
Yep.

(09:31):
So Miles, tell me a little bit about what do you know about Jesus and what do you know about the Bible?

(09:38):
Well, I know they’re a tool to help you like know about God, Jesus and the holy spirit.

(09:50):
The Bible is a tool?

(09:51):
Yes.

(09:51):
That’s true. What is the Bible? Is it something people just made up? Is it a story that somebody,

(09:57):
No, it is real.

(10:00):
It’s real. Who wrote it?

(10:04):
The disciples of Jesus.

(10:06):
Yeah. People who really knew Jesus and people that God spoke to them. So do you think the Bible is some boring story?

(10:16):
No.

(10:16):
What do you think about it?

(10:18):
I think it’s just a really cool story from a long, long time ago.

(10:28):
Do they actually matter to your life today?

(10:31):
Yes.

(10:32):
Do you learn things from the Bible that you apply to your life?

(10:35):
Yes.

(10:36):
Give me one example of that.

(10:38):
So Jonah was walking and then God told him to go to a city to tell the people to be good for God. But then all the people were …

(11:00):
Jonah was afraid,

(11:00):
Yeah. Jonah was afraid. So then he went on a boat and sailed to a different place.

(11:07):
He ran from God, didn’t he?

(11:09):
He ran from God, but then God caused a wave. And then all the people came, help us, save us, tell your God to save us. And then half of them said it was your fault, Jonah and then they were right so they threw them off the boat.

(11:33):
Then he jumped off the boat.

(11:35):
Yeah. He jumped off the boat. But then he got swallowed up by a whale, but not like bitten. Anyway. So then he was in there stuck for three days.

He prayed to get out and then the whale spit him out on dry land. And then he went to that city and finally said to be good. And then they did.

(12:03):
Okay. So how does that Bible story give you a lesson for your life?

(12:08):
Is to listen …

(12:13):
Listen to God’s lead. And what else? Was it easy for Jonah to go do something that God asked him to do?

(12:19):
No.

(12:20):
Does sometimes God ask you to do stuff that’s really hard and scary?

(12:23):
Yes.

(12:25):
How do you know it’s from God, Miles?

(12:27):
Well, how I know it’s from God is, I pray to Him, and then He tells me.

(12:37):
He tells you. So is this the kind of stuff that you and I talk about on our drives to school?

(12:43):
Yes.

(12:44):
Do you think that this is a good idea for all families to do, to have these conversations?

(12:49):
Yep.

(12:49):
What else do we do on our drives to school or our time when we’re driving back from school?

(12:55):
Well, sometimes I bring the Bible and read the Bible stories. But sometimes we just listen to scriptures and sometimes we pray and sometimes we read

(13:13):
The devotions. Why do you think it’s important for parents to talk to kids about God and scripture?

(13:22):
Well, because it makes them learn more about God.

(13:27):
Cause if I didn’t help you understand the verses, would you feel maybe confused or wonder what they actually mean?

(13:34):
Yeah.

(13:35):
And you know, what’s so cool, Miles? Is, as you have read the Bible and you’ve really dug into God’s word, sometimes you explain it to me in a way that I didn’t even think of it before.

I didn’t even understand it. When you told me that story of Moses the other day, I was amazed. What did you think about that?

(13:59):
Good.

(13:59):
Good. So, do you have any advice for moms who are listening about how to help their kids learn more about Jesus?

(14:08):
What she could do is she could read a Bible story and help them more understand the Bible.

(14:19):
And how it applies to their actual life, right?

(14:22):
Yes.

(14:23):
What do you think about listening to worship music together?

(14:26):
Yeah.

(14:26):
That’s fun too. Cause there’s lots of different ways that we can get to know God. Did it help you when mom prays with you so you could learn how to pray as well?

(14:36):
Yes.

(14:38):
And I always encourage you to pray on your own too. You don’t just have to wait till nighttime to pray.

(14:43):
Yep.

(14:44):
Do you pray all day?

(14:47):
Yeah.

(14:49):
You do? Do you really?

(14:51):
Yeah.

(14:52):
Oh, that’s good. All right, Miles, thank you for sharing. Is there anything else on your heart that you wanna say about God or the Bible or living a godly life as a kid?

(15:04):
Yeah. If you make a mistake, God loves you no matter what.

(15:09):
That’s exactly right. God is so kind. He’s forgiving. He’s encouraging. Isn’t He?

(15:14):
Yep.

(15:15):
Thank you for being with us today on this podcast, Miles.

(15:19):
You’re welcome.

(15:20):
Bye!

(15:22):
I was editing that because some of the points he’d like really think about for a long time and I’m sitting there editing this conversation with my son and I just totally welled up with tears and started crying because I’m so dang proud of him.

(15:40):
I just can’t believe that kids are so smart and they are truly the prize of God. And they are just so knowledgeable and wise sometimes. I just listen to him, speak and go, wow, God. And I just feel honored that I get to be his mom.

(16:04):
So what I want you guys to take away from that conversation with him, a few things is that first I found what works for us as the connection point. So three out of five days a week, usually I’m picking up or dropping off my son.

(16:20):
And I do this also with my younger son. But, our conversations are a little bit more, you have to tailor your conversation to the age of your kids. So with Miles and I, we really can dig a little deeper into theology and what it means when we listen to a verse.

(16:36):
And I never just read averse and leave it there, I’m always digging into, what do you think that means? Why do you think it means that? Give me an example of that. Has this ever happened to you? Let me share a story of how this has happened to me, son.

(16:48):
And I’m just very open. I wanna encourage you guys that the sooner that you can have open real vulnerable conversations with your kids, the more lessons that they begin to learn at a very young age.

(17:00):
And that’s part of the training that we as kingdom parents can do, is to show them the way they should go by not just telling them what they should and should not do, but explaining things that we’ve maybe messed up on or the things that we have struggled with in the past.

(17:17):
And how we turned to God’s way and found that redemption or that forgiveness, or turning back to his kind loving face when we’ve messed up or fallen away. So that is the first thing is finding the space in your life to have the connection point.

(17:35):
Here’s some other ideas. My younger son often wakes up second in the home. So I get up around five in the morning and have coffee and do dog things with my puppy and get him all set up. And then I go and I sit in my little Jesus corner.

(17:52):
Maybe you have a prayer closet or a comfy corner, wherever you go. And then about an hour and 15 minutes later, Landon’s usually the first one to get up. So usually I invite him to come to sit with me and we just spend 10 minutes talking about whatever it was that I learned that morning.

(18:09):
So I’ll say, oh, my goodness, Landon, I learned this really cool thing this morning. I love to share it with you. And I found what works really well for my five-year-old is to actually draw a picture of what I learned. And that is really helpful just as a visual for him.

(18:25):
And then we just talk about what he thinks that means, and if he has ever experienced it. Now, his attention span is a lot shorter. So if I get 5-10 minutes, I’m super great with that.

(18:37):
I know that these little seeds don’t need to take an hour. They are very small snippets that can happen throughout the day.

So that’s one beautiful connection point that I’ve discovered. And then there’s two more. The other one connector that we’re always available to have these rooted conversations is the dinner table.

(18:59):
And I just love taking that moment to sit there. And when I see the opportunity arise, I don’t force it. But when we see the opportunity arise to talk about a lesson or maybe it’s a value or something from scripture. We’ll talk about that as an entire family at the table.

(19:18):
And then the very last connection point place where I have this opportunity to spiritually connect with my kids is at bedtime. And it just depends on their mood. Sometimes they’re like, I’m about to wrestle with dad and it’s crazy town.

(19:32):
And then sometimes like we’re able to have a true real conversation. And also prayer. We do pray in the mornings when I drop them off at school.

And so that’s another example, but I want them to understand that prayer is something that can happen all day every day.

(19:49):
There’s no right or wrong answers. Sometimes a prayer is a quick whisper, it’s 30 seconds. And sometimes a prayer needs to be a long conversation with God about something. It can be verbal, it can be quiet in your heart, in your head.

(20:02):
It can have emotion in it and that’s okay and there’s no right or wrong answer here. And that, no matter what you have to say, God wants to hear it, no matter what it is.

And so I think a big success that I’ve had in modeling and teaching and training my boys is showing them what an active prayer life looks like.

(20:25):
So I would encourage you here. If you are one of those people who maybe you feel a little bit embarrassed or shy about your prayer life and so you’ve kept it to yourself. So, you pray in your mind, in your head. You’re very quiet or you say a simple prayer with the kids at night.

(20:41):
I want you to understand that these kids, they can handle it. They can handle real active, true prayer, and the best way for you to train your children is to just practice yourself, but do it verbally so that they can listen and watch you.

(20:57):
Sometimes we’re driving and something comes on my heart. I just bust out. Lord Jesus, I pray for this or this or this or this. And I ask for this and this and this. And like I a look in the mirror and they’re watching.

(21:08):
As kids watch us, they are actively learning. We are training simply by our actions and simply by doing so that’s another big connection point is modeling behavior and modeling prayer is one of the spiritual disciplines that I think is supercritical.

(21:29):
The very last one, a bonus connection point is a worship. So this one’s kind of fun. And so, this one is not structured at all. When we drive to school or when I pick them up, that is structured.

It’s something that we just do, and so it’s kind of known when mom drops me or picks me up, we’re gonna focus on some cool scripture and we’re gonna work on that.

(21:49):
And, obviously, the nighttime stuff is pretty structured if Landon does wake up early, I try to be intentional about that conversation with him. Also, dinnertime, but it just depends.

And, this one is like once in a while, this happens, but it’s such a beautiful, unique connection point.

(22:04):
Because, I think that something I want you to have is the freedom to make this your own. So, sometimes our children are going to have different learning styles, because some of them are going to be visual learners, and some are auditory learners.

(22:21):
Some are gonna be the kids who wanna watch you model behavior, and then they can pick that up. Some children do really well actually into facts and theology and, therefore, ask really deep critical thinking questions.

And the only way that we know is to get to know the personality of our kids and then test stuff to see what is sticking, what is landing.

(22:41):
And I will say that it’s different for both of my boys and I know that it will continue to be different as they grow. So I’m not set in my way here.

This is a beautiful ebb and flow, constantly praying for God to show me new ways to connect with them and to show them His glory and pour the truth into their hearts from a very young age.

(23:00):
And one of the cool things that He showed me was like, Hey, you can just also have fun in worshiping Me. So sometimes when we are in the car, I’ll just play a worship song, hands raised and we’re singing. And just having that moment of worship together, which is a spiritual growth connection point.

(23:17):
Sometimes if we’re working out in the gym, if dad’s in there with us, we for show getting down to some like rocker, rap music, kid bop style, so I always make sure there’s no E next to that song as they scroll through the Spotify.

(23:34):
Daddy needs some pumped-up music, but if we’re in there with mom, I love to just play some worship music and really show them what it looks like to like live my life and worship at the same time and just have a lot of fun with it.

(23:47):
And again, that’s another modeling of behavior is to let loose, be vulnerable, and show your kids what it means to be absolutely uninhibited by the holy spirit.

And that will empower them to not have any judgment, fear, or embarrassment around really, truly living out in the moment for God, with God.

(24:10):
So those are my tips for you guys. Therefore, I hope that hearing Miles really encouraged you to know and to realize that your kids are thirsty for the word of God, your kids are hungry to know Him.

And so, if we can set them on the path, the way that they should go from a very young age, they will not depart from it.

(24:31):
And if that is the promise that I can stand on for the rest of my days, I’m a stand on it because it gives me encouragement, gives me peace in my heart, and it allows me to shepherd them with purpose.

(24:45):
I hope this blessed you guys, so if you loved this episode and you want more of these episodes, I would love to hear from you.

So, The best way that you can encourage me and tell me what episodes are your favorite, share how this podcast has stretched you, challenged you, encouraged you or changed you in some way is by leaving a review for the show.

(25:06):
Plus, I have no idea if you guys like it until I read the reviews, which I will say truly encourage me. This podcast is an absolute labor of love, and yes, I do emphasize the word labor. I love it, but it’s a labor.

So having you leave those reviews, it brings a smile to my face and it just fills my heart and fills my spirit.

(25:29):
So if you have time, I would so appreciate it. Just go to Apple Podcasts, scroll down, and you have to scroll kind of far to the review section and then click, write a review and just share your heart with me today.

So, I would love to know what you love, your favorite episodes, and what you wanna hear more of. And of course, just any encouragement that you have or praises. As always, God bless you. I’ll see you guys soon.