Feeling Isolated or Lonely? How to Find Soul Healing.

Hey Friend!

Let’s have a heart-to-heart today. I realized that some of you might be using busy, distraction, and social media as medicine. Numbing the feeling of not enough, isolation, loneliness or whatever other hard this season has brought you.

I want to talk to YOU. I want you to know I see you. I feel you. And, I have been you. Heck, often I am you.

Here are the solutions God revealed to me about true soul healing. I pray this finds you right on time. His love, grace, and outpouring is waiting for you. His gifts are already here, it’s time to open them.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:00):
Hey sisters, I’m driving to get groceries right now. So I have no idea how the audio will be on this, but I hope that you can hang with me because when your girl got 20 minutes and the car, why not record a podcast episode for you with what’s on my heart. So here we go.

(00:22):
Right now, what I want to talk to you guys about is this feeling of unworthiness, this feel, this void. I want to speak to those of you right now, who are struggling with not being enough. You almost feel like you’re searching for something. You feel like there’s more. You’re on social media, because you feel like your own life is something you need to escape from.

(00:55):
You feel like you need this constant refuel, because when you look around, you’re just unhappy. This one’s for you. Hey, loves! So interestingly, we just put up the episode about getting rid of social media and how we are being dosed with this drug and how this drug has just really been forced upon us. And we’ve been manipulated into being addicted to social media.

(01:31):
I was talking to my friend and client Chelsi Jo Moore, who is just incredible. And I love her to pieces. She was like, Hey, you and I are cool with getting rid of social, we want to get rid of it, we want to only use it as a tool for our business. But what about everybody who uses it as a feel-good? What about all the women in our community who are using it because they feel this void?

(02:05):
They feel inadequate. They are feeling let’s see, they are feeling unmet needs inside. They’re feeling lonely and isolated. And for them, social media is the medicine. It’s not the drug, it’s the medicine. And I was like, whoa, like my brain exploded. And I’m like, Chelsi, you just hit the nail on the head for so many.

(02:38):
So I just wanted to have a quick conversation with those of you that are feeling that way. And now I’ve probably made you feel guilty about using social media as your medicine. And I just want to have this really open, heartfelt conversation with you about A) acceptance, B) permission and C) healing.

(02:59):
So first of all, acceptance, life is hard. The world is really heavy right now. Kids are a lot. Relationships take work, money is a stressor. Life is a stressor. The news is a stressor. Your business is a stressor. All the things of this world are hard because this world is Satan’s playground. And yes, we live in it, but we are not of it.

(03:34):
So while we are physically here in this world, that can be hard and dark it was created by God. And remember there is light and goodness in everything, but there is also darkness and hard because there are two forces at work.

(03:52):
God who created everything out of goodness in light. And then Satan, who’s here trying to turn everything back to darkness. And here’s the beautiful thing here. Here’s the glorious part about this. We already know who wins sisters. We already know, we already know the answer. It’s all there in the Bible. It’s all laid out for us in scripture.

(04:17):
And once I parked to get my groceries, I’m going to read you guys the most beautiful scripture that God showed me this morning to bring to you. And I think you’re going to absolutely love it. But before I park, it’s just me talking to you from my heart. So the first thing is acceptance. Like it is what it is. There’s nothing we can do to change that the world is going to be hard. There’s going to be moments in our life that are painful and we have a choice.

(04:48):
So we have to accept that it’s going to be hard first of all. But, inside of that, acceptance is permission to rise above the fray. So number two is permission. Those of you feeling this seeking, this yearning, this emptiness, I want you to just for a moment, ask, go on this walk with me. I used to feel that way.

(05:16):
Go on this walk with me. How are you finding your fuel? How are you filling your cup? How are you being the example? How are you living your life? And I used to fill my cup with, Oh, I just need some more self-care. I just need some more me-time. I just need, me, self-care, self-worth, self.

(05:48):
Wait, why am I still feeling empty? I need to work more. Fill it with work. Fill it with social media, fill it with empty validations with likes. But I still feel empty. I still go to bed wondering, and wanting and creating bigger divides and my family and still have a void inside of me.

(06:10):
If those are the ways you are refueling, I encourage you to seek refuel in Christ. Now some of you know, this is the answer and some of you might be rolling your eyes like that’s so ridiculous. Here comes the Bible-thumping. No, I’m not going to Bible thump you. I’m just going to talk to you about my own experience.

(06:33):
And then you take from that what you believe and what you want. Test me, test my theory. I hope that you do, because I believe that this theory will be proven true for probably all of you. When I started to delete the apps on the weekend and delete social media, there was a strange newness to my life. It felt like an empty slate. And I was like, why do I feel this way?

(07:07):
But I fill it with the news. Should I go online and like Google things? But what I found myself doing was creating more. So doing more of these podcast episodes for you guys, sharing more, showing up more present in my own life and then filling the emptiness with more of God. I started to play the Bible app. I would just press play. And I started in Matthew because if you guys are wondering where you should start in the Bible, start in the New Testament.

(07:38):
It’s really much easier to digest and to apply to your life as a new scripture reader. So start in Matthew and just press play. There’s like 27 books in Matthew. And you can just listen for 20, 30 minutes while you do stuff while you multitask, while you catch up on life, while you do your planner, while you do the laundry.

(08:03):
And all of a sudden, my cup started to fill up in a different way. All of a sudden I had this new vision of enough. It’s like this new feeling in my heart of fullness and I was living differently. I was living lighter. I was more free. I was able to see more clearly the things that were not really truly helping me in my life, the friendships I needed to let go of, the relationships, the small annoyances that would bug me about my husband, like everything that came different.

(08:44):
Like I had this new perspective because I think what we need as women who are searching and seeking and trying to fill this void of emptiness, this feeling of, I need more, there’s something missing. We need to just live like Christ lived. What more fulfillment do we need than our present life, than our kids, than pouring into a business we absolutely love.

(09:14):
Showing up on social media just to serve and then letting go of it and being able to let go of it without any feelings of anxiety or stress. Sure. Doing some more self-care once in a while, but doing it because we want to not because we feel like we need to, or because self equals more fulfillment because it doesn’t. Less of me, more of you, Christ.

(09:40):
So the other thing I did was I started getting serious about Bible study and I found actually, Chelsi Jo, again, she’s just such a beautiful beacon of light shared with some of the students that we both have her Horacio printing. I think I’m saying that right. I’ll link it below you guys. And one of my students sent me a Bible study and I have a $10 off coupon for you guys below as well if you want to try this.

(10:13):
Because let me tell you what, while I’ve done Bible studies for a long time, I’ve gone to in-person Bible studies, I’ve done the apps. There’s something different about waking up with the Lord spending 20 or 30 minutes on one specific concept inside of one area of my life, observing from that one verse dissecting God’s word, dissecting the promises, and then applying it to my own life and then praying over it.

(10:47):
And then really thinking about it for just 20 minutes a day. Like when I started to do that again, my worthiness, all of a sudden came from a different perspective because when we look and feel from a worldly perspective, we’ll never be enough. We’ll always be seeking and searching. Our lives will never feel full. We’ll never feel full. We’ll always wonder and want and wish. And I’ll look at this. And as social media makes me feel good and I need this.

(11:20):
All the excuses, friends, I need this to build my business. I need social media to build an audience. No, no, I have to be on here. These are the lies that we tell ourselves because we’re addicted to the drugs of the world that make us feel better, but they make us feel better temporarily. Let me tell you a big, humongous, crazy life-altering piece of information right now, Lola.

(11:52):
Social media is not how you build an audience. It’s not how you build an audience is through sharing on a platform that you own. You own it. You own the SEO. You own the titles. You own everything about that. Like a podcast, like a blog or like a YouTube. And yes, there are small algorithms inside of YouTube and even the podcasting space, but you still own it.

(12:25):
At the end of the day, I could go to any podcast platform. I own that content. I don’t own what I post on Instagram or Facebook. So you’re telling yourself an excuse because you’re addicted to the drugs that make you feel good. And listen, I get it. I’ve been there. Let me share with you why that’s not working.

(12:49):
It is an instant gratification. It’s a quick fix that triggers different chemicals in your brain and helps you to feel good and have this sense of, a boost, right? The boost of whatever those chemicals are. And you go, oh my gosh, yes, this is the answer. I feel better. But just like any other drug, it’s a facade. It’s a trick. And the enemy loves this trick.

(13:22):
The enemy loves to get you to believe the answer, to feeling something good is social media and this online space that is full of tricks and deception and manipulation. So here is what worked for me. And I really I’m going to prove something to you right now. So here’s what worked for me.

(13:51):
Getting in the word and getting rid of the excuses. I don’t have time. I don’t have time to listen to the Bible to read the Bible. I don’t like to read then listen. You don’t have time, delete the apps, delete them every day. Like I am now every day, I have found friends two to three more hours per day, since deleting the apps every single day, I get on Instagram one hour so that I can do all my stuff. And then I get out and I delete it.

(14:25):
It’s gone. Why? Because I am not powerful enough. My brain is not powerful enough to overcome the addiction. So I have to remove it. Make the changes, stop making the excuses and start making the changes. What else? I don’t understand the Bible. Okay. Get a Bible study that’s super understandable. Like the one I linked to below for you guys, it’s the one I’m personally using. I absolutely recommend it. Any person can understand this Bible study.

(14:59):
It’s in I think the NIV translation, which is a great place to start also, the new living translation will be a great Bible for you guys to start with and really making it a priority. Start to pray every day, you’ve got to pray every day because why do I need to do that, Stef? Because when we apply God’s word to our lives, and then we deepen our intimacy and our relationship with Christ, He repairs us. He heals us. He fuels us.

(15:32):
He pours into you in a new way. You see life in a new light, and then you become the light. And it’s the weirdest, most incredible unexplainable transformation in how you feel about yourself. And all of a sudden the void has gone. The searching has gone. The seeking is gone, the frustrations, the anxiety, like my anxiety is gone. I haven’t had an anxiety attack I don’t know in a year.

(15:58):
It’s been so long because I started to fuel my emotional needs with God instead of the world. Let me prove something to you guys. Listen to the scripture from today. This is the scripture from my Bible study today. This is Paul who’s writing to the Romans. And this is in the book in scripture, Romans eight, verses 15 through 21. If you want to go read this, which I recommend.

(16:30):
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid grave, tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”. God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!

(17:04):
We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we are certainly going to go through the good times with him. That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s next. Everything in creation is more or less held back.

(17:30):
God reigns it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. And from that, from those verses, I wrote a huge word, hope with stars all around it. And here’s what happened.

(17:58):
I had been feeling heavy with the weight of the world, with everything going on, with watching the social dilemma made me feel some type of way about being tricked and about being drugged and social media in general and it made me feel hopeless for all of you. Because while I know where I stand, I can’t control where you stand. And I started to wear the weight of that on my shoulders. Like, how do I get these women to do this with me? How do I get them to see the truth? God help me. How?

(18:30):
And I started to feel like it was my weight to bear. Like if you guys didn’t see the truth about how the world is tricking you and deceiving you, like I’m failing. And it felt like a lot. And that was in the last few days. And then God gave me this first. And again, the void was filled. The weight was gone. I was at peace. Do you think I would be feeling at peace if I hadn’t read that scripture? If I hadn’t taken to God, the heaviness that I was feeling and the responsibility for you guys, God’s a daughter.

(19:07):
I’m at work. Trust me. I’ve got them. You show up, you be the example. You be the light, you do the work, share with them what’s working. And then let me have it. I got that from this scripture. God works through His word. He works through prayer, He hears us. The more deeply and intimately I conversated with my Father, the more he leads me and directs me and disciplines me and gives me things and shows me what’s real and right.

(19:41):
And He knows when I trust Him that I can handle more, more goodness, more glory, more favor. So my takeaway for you is if you have been feeling empty, seeking, searching, and that’s the reason you’re telling yourself, you have to be on social, that you have to keep being friends with that negative influence. Why you have to snap at your kids or live in this anxiety, this anxious state, this sadness, this overwhelming searching and yearning.

(20:16):
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to anymore. You can fill the emptiness right now. Here you go. Here it is. Bible study every day, listening to the word or reading the word, five minutes, just start with five minutes. And then prayer. I want you to do that for 30 full days in a row. And then tell me that you are not different. It’s impossible.

(20:51):
Do that for 30 days and tell me you don’t feel healthier, happier, more energetic, that you’re not seeing life differently. It’s like, you’re on a different sphere. It’s like you, sometimes it’s like floating in my own life. And I look out and I’m like, this is my life. I’m filled with this unexplainable joy. And sometimes I just cry.

(21:16):
I’m just sitting there looking at my life, looking at the kids, looking at my husband, or whatever. And I’m like, wow, like this emotional fulfillment just washes over me. And I can’t believe the goodness. I can’t believe the glory. And it is a drug that you want because it’s God’s drug. It’s the Holy Spirit. Let’s pray.

(21:41):
Father, I pray that the women that are listening to this or the men that are listening to this right now, they’re seeking, searching, wanting, and feeling a void in their hearts, a void in their lives, wanting to use the world, the world’s drugs as fulfillment or doing it without knowing. I pray that you reveal to them your truth, that you replace the hard, the dark with your goodness, your glory, holy spirit, as fulfillment instead of instant gratification from the world. I pray that you replace it for them.

(22:21):
Bring them to you. Open the doors, sisters, those of you that want this right now, open your heart with me. Father, come in. I welcome You. Come into my heart. I believe that you are my savior. I believe that you are the answer. Be my medicine. God be my medicine, gift me, the holy spirit now forever in my heart.

(22:45):
Let it be my peace. Let it be my enough. Let it be my here and now in my forever. Father, You are my medicine. You are my water. You are my food. You are my clothing. You are my everything I say yes to you. I say more of You and less of me. Change our hearts here and now, God. I love you sisters. Say with me in Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen. See you soon. Love and light, Stef.