In this coffee chat inside the Stefanie Gass FB community, we discuss glorifying busyness, detoxing from distraction, indecision, and more. How these are actually many of our drugs of choice and how this time of isolation has put a spotlight on what we need to change or let go of.
Highlights from this chat:
Fooling ourselves into feeling productive.
Face your fear it no longer controls you.
What happens when we let go of idols like busyness and over-production?
Secrets of the soul.
Whispers from God.
+ reminders about God’s leading
I pray this blesses you!
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
(00:01) Hey love. I’m excited to share with you today’s bonus episode, because this is the live that I did this morning over in the Mompreneur Mastermind Facebook group. And if you are not a part of that group yet come and join us. I have committed to going live once a week in there and offering you guys free insight, free Q and A, it’s basically free coaching, free inspiration. It’s a way for me to connect with each and every one of you at a deeper level during this time. And I’m just really excited about the conversations that we’ve already had, including the one from today.
(00:35) We talked about what your drug of choice is and why being still and slow in this moment has really brought to light what we all potentially are glorifying. And for me, that drug of choice is busyness. And we discuss how we fool ourselves into thinking that something like busyness is actually creating more production, which creates more worthiness and how I believe all of that is a lie and it’s been brought to light during this moment of stillness and we are being challenged to grow and really find true meaning and break down the things that have been keeping us stuck. The stuff that’s been distracting us from our true work here.
(01:18) I also talk about what happens when we let go of these idols like busyness and overproduction or overthinking, cuz it goes both ways, sister friend, and more, and I also tie things back to the book of James, which I read this morning and how God’s law is always exactly what we need when we need it. I know you’re gonna love this. Come join the group so that you don’t miss out on any other future coffee chats. You can join us by going to Facebook and searching for Mompreneur Mastermind. See you there.
(01:57) I’ve also had a couple of questions about coaching and what I offer during this time. And a couple questions wanna clarify. The first question was if we do coaching, do you have to have your episode aired on my podcast? Of course not ladies, if you do not want your coaching session to be on the air, it is completely optional. You’ll get the choice of signing a release when we do a coaching session. So just know that if there are things that are near and dear to your heart or specific to your situation, that you wanna be kept private just between you and I during our coaching session, it does not have to be aired on this podcast.
(02:38) Now. Secondly, I’ve had some people reach out to me about customized packages right now and yes we can absolutely customize a package for you. Just as of this morning, I am setting up a customized package for a client of mine, where we are going to have six weeks of unlimited Voxer support during office hours. Listen, if you have a need, just reach out to me. Okay? Nothing that I offer is set in stone. If you need a six week 30 minutes with Voxer support, let’s create it. Okay. If you just need a Voxer support mentor over the next month as we navigate this space, just ask.
(03:20) I can customize any package based on you and your needs. If you are interested in anything like that, let’s just have a conversation. DM me on Instagram and voice text me at stefaniegass and we can map something out that will work for you, where you’re at. I will meet you where you’re at. I’m here for you today now, and every day. Get your coffee. Let’s dig in. This is juicy.
(03:42) I wanna talk to you guys about this weird feeling I’ve been going through. So here we are like a month into being quarantined, you know, being in isolation, I’ve had this like strange unsettled feeling lately. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. What is this strange feeling? And yesterday I’m sitting outside and I feel like I should be doing something right now. I’m watching my kids play and I’ve got my phone in my hand and I’m just like, I should be doing something. You know, I should go do the laundry. I should go pick up.
(04:27) As I’m walking through my land mine house, and I’m stepping over all the toys. I’m like, I need to pick these up. Like, there’s this constant chatter in my brain about do something, do something, do more, get busy, be more productive, you know, follow up with people, fix your website. Like, do you guys feel this way? Does anybody else feel like if you’re not doing something, something’s wrong or off, or is that just me?
(05:03) Then I posted in my Instagram stories yesterday about this. I’m like, do you guys feel weird? Like, what do you think? Are we detoxing from being busy? And I got so much feedback. So many people slid into the DM’s and gave me their insight. And I think I had this crazy realization that it’s not necessarily a detox from busyness. It’s that busyness for so many of us is our drug of choice, me included. Okay. I think that busyness is actually kind of this idol that we all have, especially as women. We are glorifying being busy and we’re almost addicted to it in a way.
(05:59) I think it’s because when we hear from society and we were raised to believe that, you know, as women and as mothers, especially, and then as pair that with entrepreneurship, forget it, the more productive you are, the more successful you are, the more busy you are, the more you’ll achieve. We’re stuck in this space of go and do and do more and do more. And then it becomes an addiction, at least for me. And I also think that it’s based on personality type. Because I was talking to my friend this morning and you guys know I’m a three on the Enneagram wing two, whether or not you follow that, I believe that we have different personality strengths and weaknesses. So for me, busyness so easily becomes this trigger of do more and equal more, right.
(06:55) But my friend who’s an eight on the Enneangram this morning was voicing with me. And she was saying that she feels different. Like for her, it feels like this weirdness or this feeling of being off is less driving of her business. She runs a huge, very successful eating disorder clinic. And so for her, it’s like, no, it’s all of about I can’t be there. I can’t impact change. And so we all have something that we inherently idolize. And so for me, I really think that that thing was busy and it is busyness.
(07:32) So anyways, why I am talking about this with you guys this morning is that I think we’ve actually been challenged through this period of slowness and isolation and just having more peace, literally being forced to have more peace in our lives. It’s causing us all to have a look at some of our weaknesses. Have any of you experienced this aha moment of maybe weakness that you’ve had? For me it was busyness. Now what’s happening is that I’m going through this busyness detox. And once you see you cannot unsee right? Once you see something, you cannot unsee it.
(08:16) So now I’m seeing, I’m just having this need to feel busy because it makes me believe I’m productive and when I’m productive, I’m more worthy. So here’s the secret, here’s what’s happened for me when you face an idol full on and you recognize that something is controlling you and it’s a lie and it’s not truth, God will give you everything you need to combat that. And come yesterday, y’all I’m home, but I’m again busier than ever. And I had all these things yesterday and I missed my Bible study and my friend was like, Hey, let’s just do it separately. Like, I’ll just do it with you, how selfless and incredible the women are in my life. And so I’m like, okay.
(09:04) So I sit down this morning and I do this study. And I end up in the book of James and you guys listen to the very first thing that I highlighted. It was like, so on par, I think God speaks to us so often through scripture and through things that we need to hear like divine intervention. Anyway, it says, this is James 1:2 “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know, that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing.”
(09:54) Y’all you like when troubles come your way. And for me, this means facing a fear, uncovering an idol, feeling frustrated, feeling scared right now, whatever you guys are feeling right now, it is an opportunity for joy. So we have to feel into the feelings and know that sometimes discomfort is a huge opportunity for growth. And for me, it’s taking a minute to say, I don’t need to do something right now, just for the sake of doing it. I need to stop doing things for the sake of being, for the sake of feeling and to being present for the moments that are so fleeting and that can pass us by when we’re putting on a veil of busy, when we’re putting on a veil of achievement, when we’re putting on that veil of fear or of insecurity or of doing more.
(10:48) Whatever that thing is, it’s truly just a veil that is keeping you from feeling into being perfect. That was James 1:2. And then let’s dissect that even more. It says for you know, that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So I want you guys to understand that as you sit in a moment of insecurity of, for me, I’ve even had days that kind of feel depressed or dark or off right now, it means my endurance is being tested. Not because I’m not doing enough, but because I don’t need to do anymore. And God is showing me what actually matters.
(11:41) He’s showing me that I don’t have to go and do the dishes right this second, because that doesn’t equal achievement for His kingdom. Okay. You guys that’s me. That is me lying to myself. That being busy equals more and it’s a drug of choice. Okay. It’s just another way that we self-medicate, that we hide from what actually matters and it’s dangerous. It’s so dangerous. So there’s a couple other things from James that I wrote down and I wanted to talk to you guys about.
(12:26) In book 1:12, God blesses, those who patiently endure testing and temptation, right? So here’s another one. How many of you are being tested and tempted right now to do more in your businesses? I have gone through this moment of shiny object syndrome in the past week. And I, I went through, in my mind, I need to launch something new. I’m not charging enough. I like all these ideas started flowing into my mind and I never sat down and prayed over it. And I started mapping out different courses and mapping out different things. And this morning I heard whoa, sister wait.
(13:08) I’ve heard wait so many times in my business in the past year. And it feels so frustrating because we want to grow and we want to scale and we wanna have more and we wanna do more, but we have to remember it’s in God’s timing, not our timing. Okay. So we have to endure testing and temptation, which also means sitting in the discomfort of letting go of your drug of choice. So this place of peace ladies, it should give you perspective on what you’ve been using to cope because we have to sit with it. Okay.
(13:51) So I want you to think about this. What has that been for you? Has it been busyness, has been distraction, has it been shiny object syndrome, comparisonitis? Has it been hiding underneath all of the things that other people tell you you need and other people tell you should be, is it hiding underneath the fear of success? What is it? I want you to uncover it. And then I want you to look at that and say, how can I change this? And for me, one of my favorite ways is to just say, God, break me down and rebuild me. Use this weakness for your good and show me how I can be better for it.
(14:41) It takes time you guys, this is not overnight. Okay. You’re gonna feel lots of guilt and anxiousness when you uncover your drug of choice, right? And when you’re ready to let go of it, your body’s gonna tell you, no, your mind’s gonna tell you, you need it. And we have to literally turn away and you know, I’m gonna struggle with this for months. Cause I just now figured it out. I just now finally see. But once you see you cannot unsee. And so once you break through your weakness, so let’s say busyness, as an example, you’re gonna see more clearly.
(15:23) You’re going to find that decisions come more easily to you because you’ve opened up a clear channel that was being blocked from Holy Spirit intervention, right? Like if I’m constantly thinking busy, busy do, do act, serve, make more money, launch new things, how can God speak to me? I am blocking my own miracles by using distraction, like busyness, like social media, whatever. And I think when you slow down, you hear more clearly, right? Decisions become more natural. Opportunities flow through to you that you’re able to more clearly discern what’s right, what’s wrong. Okay.
(16:13) Then here is the most beautiful part, ladies. We have more energy and time to do something with it because we’re focused on what actually matters. It’s crazy. So I invite each and every one of you to think about what’s the stuff you’ve been hiding behind. How can we let go of that today? How can you consider your trials and your discomfort right now as a space to grow and then experience true joy. Because again, this verse this morning, when we let our faith be tested, our endurance has a chance to grow and let it grow. For when our endurance is full, we’ll be perfect and complete needing nothing because the law says. The law, right? Crazy, crazy.
(17:07) It was my heart check this morning. So, I had to share it with you guys. I don’t know if this resonated with any of you, but I’m a verbal processor. I have to like say things out loud for them to come back through, into my heart. So I wanna see what you guys said this morning. Tracy in the beginning said, she’s in lingo some days she feels like she needs to be busy. And then her minds is reminded to stop and go play with the kids. Yeah. It’s a struggle. It’s such a struggle. And I can literally feel the enemy at work.
(17:39) When I hear that, Tracy, I hear you should go play with your kids right now. And then I hear, but I have to vacuum or but you have to work on your business. Do you guys feel that? And I know that that’s not from a place of good. Dana says, I’m finally using this time to finish what I started. Yes. Good girl. Finish what you started and doing things. It’s also goes the other way, ladies. Like some of you are hiding from doing and some of you are not natural doers. You are overthinkers or you are frozen in indecision. So this also goes the other way and you’re letting indecision be your drug of choice. Yeah.
(18:25) So you have to do that heart check. You have to do that self inventory and ask, what is it for you and how can you break through, how can you let God use this time to rebuild you and using some of those weaknesses for his good. All right, I’ve been doing that. And God did the same thing. I was all running full blast on an idea. And God was like, whoa. Yeah. Some ideas are not his, they’re ours. Alexia also said, Stefanie, this is such a blessing for me. I’ve literally been feeling like God’s been asking me to share what I’m learning in my Bible time with my community, but I don’t know how to do that.
(19:06) A coffee chat on Facebook is perfect. Thank you for doing this. You’re welcome. Yeah. I was afraid too, because on my podcast, I’m very spiritual, but I have been from day one. And so I feel like people know that about me, but here I have 3000 women and a lot of the women in this group don’t listen to my show. They found me through like a Facebook search. I’m like, well, no better time to rip off the bandaid because I am who I am and I speak the truth that I speak and people can take it or leave it. And I will love them all the same.
(19:40) If they just wanna be here for the business, that’s cool. But if they wanna be here for business, through Christ and through everything I stand for, I wanna serve you guys more deeply. And for me, that means tying it all back to the Creator, tying everything back to the One that gives us everything. I hope you loved that deep dive into our drug of choice. I would love to hear you come and post in the group in the Facebook group about what yours has been and how that’s been brought to light and what you’re doing to navigate all of those feeling and kind of break through.
(20:15) Because like I said, once you see you can’t unsee, but know that we are all in this together. We are all growing through these changes here and now, but we can do it as a community. So I’ll meet you over in the Facebook group. If you found value in today’s conversation and it made you feel something it made have that aha moment, it made you have that heart check that maybe you’ve been missing.
(20:40) Will you do me a favor, take a screenshot of this episode and share it in your Instagram stories. For me, that is the number one way you thank me is by spreading our mission and helping me touch more women creating more strong, incredible Proverbs 31 women just like you and I. Share this for me. I would be forever grateful. I’ll see you soon. As always, love and light, Stef.