Breast Explant UPDATE! 1.5 Years Post-Op!

Hi Friend!

Well Ladies… Disclaimer! Today we are talking about BOOBS. Haha!!!

It’s been 1.5 years since I removed my 13-year-old breast implants and I thought it was due time for an update. In today’s shared interview from Alisha Carlson’s podcast, Strong[HER] Way we discuss the mindset transformation that happened for me after letting go of the physical breast implants and stepping into the imperfectly PERFECT body God created for me.

How to love ourselves – cellulite, saggin, wrinkles and all!

We hope that this open conversation about loving ourselves and claiming our confidence as daughters of the King will inspire you to look in the mirror and love what you see. To speak love and life over your one and only God-gifted body. And to know that sister – you are ENOUGH. Just as you are.

Sending you love and lifting you all in Prayer!

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:00)
Hey friends in today’s episode, I am actually chatting with my friend, Alisha Carlson on her podcast. And we’re talking all about kind of how to step into your confidence and worthiness and how I was able to kind of let go of that bodily perfectionism.

(00:19)
And we talk a lot about the breast explant that I went through last March and kind of what has transpired since then. How did that all work out for me? And I figured, Hey, maybe you guys are curious and want to hear an update as well. So she’s so sweet and allowed me to share this over here on my podcast.

(00:38)
So be sure that you guys go check out Alisha Carlson’s show as well for more amazing, you know, health tips paired with faith. I just love her and what she’s all about. So I know you guys are gonna really enjoy this interview. It’s a little juicy and a little spicy, so, uh, get ready for that, honey. And let’s have some fun.

(01:50)
He just didn’t really care about what they look like and just like, you know, if they were perky or they weren’t. And so I think that part of kind of shedding the diet mindset and really like those beliefs about myself was also just shedding, I guess like the insecurity or the thought that I needed to like fix my boobs in order to feel like I was like the full package.

(02:15)
I feel like every woman is having that thought, especially after kids, you know? I mean, I got my implants when I was 21. So however many years I’m 35 now. So it was like, I was super young and the reason I did it was so superficial, it was one boob was small, a little bit smaller than the other.

(02:37)
I wanted to look like the Victoria’s secret catalog ladies and I was dating a dude who was like, Hey, you’re, uh, you know, you’re kind of pear shaped. Like if you, you could be our glass shaped, if you just got implants. And he was so into like looks and appearances and I was just arm candy. I mean, he would be like, Oh, you’ve gained a couple pounds.

(03:00)
Like he was that guy. Thank God he’s gone. But, um, so for me it was like really superficial and I got them so young and I did it for all the wrong reasons. The most hilarious part, Alisha, I took in a picture of the girl from the catalog. I it’s printed. My mom found this folder that I took in with me to the plastic surgeon.

(03:27)
She’s got the perfect, perfect in quotes body. The air. Yeah. The air quotes, air quotes, super round unrealistic, double D the boobs were up on all the way in her chin, like so high. And I took him in and said, I want that. I remember like, nothing else mattered to me. I was 21. You couldn’t have told me, but Stef, those could be dangerous. I wouldn’t have cared.

(03:51)
Stef, you don’t have six grand. I didn’t care. I put it on a credit card at 21. You wouldn’t, you couldn’t have told me anything. And that’s the hard part sometimes is we get so fixated on what we think is the solution to a problem that we aren’t being mindful about the future impact of that decision. Right. Which is any choice in our life, any choice.

(04:15)
And so ended up first doctor, I went to sign the paper, slapped down the credit card. It’s so funny too. Like you try it, you take these plastic bags and you slip them in your bra to see what size you want. So I’m slipping them in. I had a small B boobs and I wanted to go to a full D I’m slipping them in my bra and like looking side to side.

(04:37)
It’s just so crazy to me now, thinking back, like that’s what I thought was going to make such a difference in me feeling good about myself and feeling more beautiful and more confident. And Oh, if my boyfriend thinks I need this, you know, everyone else will look at me differently too. I’ll look at myself differently.

(04:55)
And so slap the credit card down didn’t care. And I went and, eight weeks later, you know, went in for the surgery. My mom went with me and like, just to think, like, I have kids now. I’m married. I have this impact. I have like students that like are part of my family. Like I put my life on the line, my life on the line. I went under anesthesia on the line with a doctor I had never even researched.

(05:26)
I could have died to put plastic foreign, a foreign body into my skin over my heart. Like to me now I’m like, this is, that was insanity. But I was so I was literally insane because I thought that that would make a difference. So I got them and it was fine for awhile. You know, I felt sexy and I wore all the revealing things and I was in my twenties.

(05:49)
You know, I’m like we were going out, I drank too much. And I was, I was lost in a multiple number of ways in my early twenties. And I thought, you know, validation came from attention. Things like so many of us in our twenties.

(06:04)
Well, I think like we still see that even now, just in different ways, like social media and, you know, just, I think as long as we’re kind of misguided in terms of like where our value and our worth and our identity actually comes from we’re, you know.

(06:21)
If we don’t address that, we’re always going to be grasping at these other sort of quick fixes or these things that just kind of slap a bandaid on. Oftentimes I think like those deeper heart wounds, you know, that really can’t be healed from anything that comes from the outside in.

(06:38)
Absolutely. And you know, whether it be, whether it be your looks and you’re looking for it there, whether it be, I went through all kinds of this, like just to name a few things that you may be allowing to create this false pretense, that this could be the thing you’re missing to create ultimate fulfillment in your life.

(06:56)
I did it looking for money, success recognition, sexual attention, having the perfect body. What else? I mean, it’s limitless because all of those things are things that the world tells you creates happiness. And when the world tells you that something creates happiness, you can immediately write that off the list, because most things that the world tells you is just a whole pack of lies.

(07:24)
And all, you know, I can go deeper into that in a bit, but so I get the implants and they’re great for two years, but then I really get, start getting into a lot of fitness, like 24, 25. And they’re just so obnoxious. They’re big, I’m uncomfortable. I don’t, I no longer was feeling like that, being sexualized like that attention for me started to become really uncomfortable.

(07:49)
And at this point you were not with your husband or now husband.

(07:54)
I was actually engaged to that guy at this point, 24. Yeah. And I was, I had so many red flags. That’s a whole nother conversation, but again, the world tells me, Oh, but he makes a ton of money and he has a great job and he’d be okay. You know, like if I leave, I’m alone, I can’t be alone. I’ve invested too much time with this guy. Even though there was multiple red flags of things that he would do that could eventually have become something really damaging.

(08:25)
And I think he didn’t know that he was damaging me by saying things like, Oh, you know, don’t wear that. Or you look bad in that or change into this. Or you gained, you look like you gained a couple pounds. Like, I don’t think that he did it maliciously, but it started to just like tap away at my worthiness in myself and how I was created by God.

(08:45)
I was created by God to be like 150 pounds at five, four. And I got a nice booty on me and I got some cellulite and I love it. And it’s wonderful. But at that time, I didn’t know that that was wonderful. And I felt like, well, if he doesn’t love me for me, then there’s definitely something wrong with me. And so at this point, I didn’t want the attention anymore.

(09:12)
I started to wear like baggier shirts. And I was noticing like, people were just always staring at my boobs and it was, felt really awkward. So I started to hide them. I started to wear two sports bras, and then I just kinda like, forgot about them. Like they just became part of who I was, which is terrifying because I ended up having them for 13 years and what they really didn’t become a major issue in my life until, so I broke off the engagement with dude, thank goodness.

(09:40)
I went on my own way for a couple of years. And then I met my now husband and we started dating. And as soon as I had kids, like my genetics were not my friend, when it came to my boobs. Like my boobs got so saggy, A: they were so overpacked with all this weight. I had these humongous saline-filled water bags for 13 years on my chest. Right.

(10:10)
So they just started to sag. And then I breastfed for like way too long with all my kids. And I’m like, my boobs just became this like contention for me. I didn’t want to have sex. I was constantly hiding them from my husband. I, they never came out of the bra. I didn’t want to look at them. And it was because here these big saggy boobs,

(10:34)
An implant on top of that, they were like, deformed. Cause you could see the implant. I’m like, why did I do this to myself? But I didn’t really care. I was like, I’m fine. I’ll just hide him in the bra. My husband never, like you, Alisha had said earlier, he didn’t care.

(10:48)
He’s like a boob’s a boob. I don’t care. Whoo! Sexy boobs.

(10:50)
Just show me the, you know, give me the boobs, no matter really what they look like.

(10:59)
Yeah. So ladies, there’s that if any of you were like, Oh, but my boobs are saggy, too. Welcome to motherhood, sisters. Yeah.

(11:06)
Welcome to being a woman. And chances are like, if your guy actually loves you for you, then he’s really not going to care about the boobs. He’s not going to care about the cellulite or the rolls, or, you know, I’m always that you said something a while back that I want to make sure we circle back around to you.

(11:22)
But you know, there are times that my husband will intentionally, like he purposely grabs my stomach and my like every fiber in me, you know, I’m still like working through parts of the healing coming out of diet, culture and diet mindset and stuff. But it’s like, Oh my gosh, like it’s not super flat anymore.

(11:41)
It’s, you know, there’s like a little roll right there. And he’s like, great. You know, like touching that. And so they’re, you know, it’s, it is interesting to see things that kind of come up for us, but like, he’s obviously not disgusted by it because he’s like grabbing it, he’s touching it. And so all of those things are just things that we feel about ourselves based on what we think, you know, we, what we should look like and how we should be.

(12:06)
A hundred percent. And I think if it helps us with perspective here, I mean, how many of y’all is hubby’s or spouses or significant others have gained a few pounds since you’ve been with them? I think of how you feel about them. Like even if my husband had gained 30 pounds and he’s like, one of those guys he’s like, naturally it has great physique, but if he literally had gained 30 pounds, I wouldn’t notice, especially in the bedroom, like I just wouldn’t even notice really.

(12:33)
If I did it wouldn’t impact me and how much I love him and how connected we are. And so if there’s that perspective that you need. And I think one thing for men just to bring it full circle is like, your confidence is more, you know, sexy to them than anything else. Then if you had the perfect quote, unquote again, body or something that you have in your head, but you were still meek and timid and an unconfident, they can tell.

(13:04)
And that is what shines through. Not well, her stomach’s flat, it’s this woman is coming in here. She is proud of what she looks like. She is so excited about who she is and she’s owning it. That’s all that matters really when it comes to that connection, I believe,

(13:23)
is bring your confidence. And if you’re feeling like you don’t have that, like, can you channel it for a solid 20 minutes or, you know, five minutes, I don’t know, whatever, like, yeah. Get into that head space of like, I’m going to own this right now because this is my God gifted and I’m so proud of it.

(13:41)
And I think too, like when we think about what the woman’s body was created to do, it is nothing short of a miracle. I remember when I was studying exercise science and I had to take, you know, the anatomy and physiology series. And I just remember like, you know, studying the human body from a science perspective, but having like the creation mindset and just being like in awe and just completely blown away that.

(14:09)
What our bodies do and like, you know, just, not even just a woman’s body, but in general, like the different functions and how it changes over the course of a life. And, you know, we’re constantly being renewed, like from a physiological standpoint. And I just think that it’s such a beautiful picture of like our redemption story and, and really like being transformed from the inside out, like literally on a cellular level too.

(14:39)
Yeah. That’s a miracle and, and your body is the least important part of who you are, right? Your soul and your brain and your mind and your gifts and your impact and your, and your service and the way that you show up for your family and your friends and yourself and your business, and God, and the things that you were created to do here.

(15:00)
That’s everything. That’s 99% of who you are and what you stand for. I believe. And I’m like, 1% is what I look like 1%, cause this body doesn’t come with me when I leave, but my soul and the good work that I did here that comes with me. So let’s try not to get so fixated on the 1% and get back to the 99% of who you truly are and the impact you want to leave.

(15:27)
And so that, I mean, I feel like this is a great place to kind of circle back around when you were talking about, now you are comfortable and you’re confident in this God given body that you have with the cellulite, with the saggy boobs, with the, you know, whatever else, like the wrinkles.

(15:43)
What was that journey like for you or that process of transformation of going from who you were and how you looked at your body before, you know, like, okay, I need to have the implants getting really into fitness and like looking a certain way to really just being like, Hey, this is the body I was given, it’s a gift. I do need to do my very best to like honor it and take care of it. But I imagine there was quite a bit of transformation that had to happen.

(16:13)
Yes, absolutely. So I think what happened kind of was for me, the biggest breakthrough came through when I removed the implants. So I was starting to have anxiety attacks about three or three or four years ago. And it was really linked to my workaholism at the time. And God revealing to me some of the truths about myself.

(16:39)
I really needed to change. And so, but in those, in those anxiety attacks, I started to search for answers. One of the answers that kept being shown to me, I believe like on a spiritual level was the dangers of having breast implants and the plastic that is literally leaking all over inside your body and all of these horror stories. I’m like, Oh my gosh.

(17:01)
So I went down the rabbit hole and then like some of my friends in the podcasting industry started getting theirs removes and I’m hearing their stories and I’m like, this is all like hitting me so heavy. And I really feel like maybe God is whispering to me an answer to these anxiety attacks. I didn’t know, but I knew for sure I was done.

(17:21)
I’m like, I don’t want these foreign things in my body for one more minute. Like A: hate them and they’re annoying and they’re humongous. And they’re like awkward the way that they look. And then B: I’m afraid of the health implications. And so I was driving home one day and I had been researching for like three months at this point.

(17:38)
And I just had a moment, like a breakdown moment in the car. I called my mom crying and I’m like, I need to get these implants out now. Like what do I do? I can’t tell Brad that, like, we don’t have just seven grand hanging out or however much it’s going to cost. Like what should I do?

(17:53)
She just said, you, then you just do it. You just do it. If you need to get them out, do it now. And like, she was so convicted that if I was convicted, it was the right choice. And so, so cool how God works. I called my husband next and I told him what I wanted to do. I think I had kind of alluded to it. So he really wasn’t shocked. And he’s like, babe, whatever you want to do, like, he didn’t bring up the money.

(18:16)
He didn’t. And just a testimony to him, him being a gift from God, he’s just so supportive. I’m like, Oh, okay. Like, and he’s like, just figure it out. We’ll figure it out. And so I came home, I start praying. At this point, like my relationship with God with Christ had been really renewed probably over the, the year prior.

(18:37)
So I just start praying. I’m like, God, show me a way to do this. You know, we did, we just didn’t have like an extra whatever, 10 grand. I’m like, this is going to be expensive, but I need to do it now. It was like this urgent feeling in my bones, like I had to get rid of them. And so crazy enough, I forget about it for like 24 hours and all of a sudden this crazy idea pops in my head Alisha and I go, Oh, Oh my gosh, I have this investment account.

(19:05)
It was, it was play money. When I was, when I was like 18, I started investment accounts. I used to work in investment firm. I put five grand into like Apple and some other stocks just for fun, for fun. Actually I think it was like $600. It was something ridiculous. I’m like, there’s no way there’s like any money in that. I literally had forgotten about it.

(19:25)
I log into my account and there was like $7,897 or whatever. It was in the two stocks that I could sell with having a zero penalty. And I was like, awesome. Oh my gosh, this is it. Like, God’s whispered to me like, this is a nudge from the Lord to do this. So I told my husband, he’s like, girl, go. I sold them. I made the appointment.

(19:51)
Then within, I think it was like three months or four months, whatever it was. I went in, I felt so different too. I felt so good about my choice. I researched the doctor. I knew he had already done work for people I knew. He was like, so legit. It was a different doctor, yes. So I went in, I got a full X plant of my plastic implants, which I still have in a, they give it to you back in a toxic bag. It’s hilarious.

(20:18)
I’m like, these are my new paperweights. Cause I never want to forget this moment. And then I did a full lift as well because your girl just had to. He’s so funny. He’s like when I came out of everything and I’m like, how are they, you know, were you able to salvage the boobs? And then thing is like, well, they were like pillowcases, but I did some, I worked some magic up in there.

(20:43)
Like we were working for a long time. Stefanie, you’re going to have some major. And I was like, whew. Yes. Like he saved the boobs. So anyways. Yeah. And so now, like here’s where the big moment that the shift came for me though, is like, after all of that, it was about six weeks of healing and it was horrific.

(21:05)
I mean, I wouldn’t change it for a minute. I would do it a million times over, but I stayed at my mom’s for five days and I sobbed through night three and four because the pain was, on pain meds, was so unbearable. The headaches, the migraines I was getting. And I don’t know like, yes, it was the pain, but it was also probably like detoxing.

(21:27)
I was on pain meds, which I don’t do well with pain meds, all the things. And there was this moment. So that was hard, but everyone was really helpful to me. And it was great. There was this moment, about six weeks later when they were like, Hey, you’re good. You can drive. You can do all the things. And I heard that news, I’m clear. And I just remember being like, I can hug my boys chest to chest, heart to heart.

(21:56)
There’s nothing in the way anymore of them loving me and of my vital organs and me hugging my children chest to chest and just like being free of any toxic foreign thing in my body. That’s been creating a barrier against the people I love for 13 years. It was, it was that moment. I was like, this is it. I will never again, you know, Lord forgive me for that because I will never again take for granted this perfect body because every body is perfect.

(22:37)
Every body is made in God’s likeness and we are of Christ. We are literally miracles, walking miracles, no matter what you look like, no matter how big tall, what color, what issues you may have, whether you have one arm or two, like it’s a miracle that we are here and we’ve been created. And that was the moment I was like, anything else is so superficial to me anymore that I’m like, I will never alter this God gifted body ever again.

(23:10)
I just made that choice and I didn’t, whatever that looks like, wrinkles, boobs getting saggy again, of course we’re going to age. It’s part of life and I’m here for it. So that was kind of that moment. Then just really like, because of that mindset shift and making that intentional choice, that I’m just going to love myself for who I am. You know, everything gets better because of it. You feel better.

(23:36)
You’re more confident. You treat yourself better. I eat more cleanly. I get a ton of sleep. You know, intimacy is better. The way I treat my kiddos and my husband, my patience is better. Like everything is better when you love yourself.

(23:54)
Yeah, it’s such a powerful story. And I just kept thinking about like how these implants are a tangible, a tangible item, I think for like, just such a representation physically of what so many women think, right? Thinking about their bodies or just like these toxic things that we kind of put on ourselves or we think, or we believe about ourselves or life and about other people that it was just so cool that you have like this physical representation of those things and literally removing it from your being, removing it from your body.

(24:36)
And I, you know, I just want to encourage, like whoever is listening, like, what is that thing for you? Like maybe it’s not something tangible, something physical that you can hold, but what is that sort of toxic foreign thing, you know, that you kind of keep going back to that you keep holding onto for identity, for security, for, you know, worth and value.

(24:57)
How can you practice letting that go? How can you practice removing that? And really just like laying it down. Because I think like you said, you know, it was in losing that or like getting rid of it that you’ve been able to have so much more like abundantly so much more connection, so much more intimacy, so much more confidence.

(25:17)
And it really was that internal shift that has spilled out into the rest of your life. That is, you know, fueling you to make those different decisions about how you’re taking care of yourself. Um, you know, which is so empowering. So thank you so much, Stephanie, for sharing your story around implants and explants, but really just like the, I think the heart transformation that happened, you know, throughout it.

(25:43)
I truly feel like God probably allowed you to walk through all of that so that this, you know, this gets to be a powerful part of your story and your testimony.

(25:55)
I agree. And like Alisha said, just to highlight what you said, it’s not maybe the implants for all of you or, or, or anything even internal. Sometimes the thing you’re hiding behind could be anything. It could be your phone, right? It could be social media, it could be, sure. It could be something that has to do with your body.

(26:18)
It could be, it could be an eating disorder, right? It could be anything that you’re hiding behind, truly allowing yourself to just love who you are in the raw and the ugly and the real being willing to just be without any type of barrier. That’s the moment where you will be truly free.

(26:40)
And it starts with being really honest with yourself, what needs to change, and then knowing that there is a way, and there is a choice that you will have to make and you’re going to have to be super disciplined and then leap in fear. Because again, there’s not always the resources to do it, or I can’t put my phone down, I run a business. Yes, you can. You can, you can do anything.

(27:05)
Because again, when we leave here, we leave with our spirit and our soul and the work we’ve done here and the impact we’ve made on our kids and our spouses and our lives and the people that we serve with our businesses. That’s it. So ask yourself, what am I hiding behind?

(27:22)
What do I need to let go of, do the work to make sure it happens sooner than later, because if I could do one thing differently, I would have done this surgery and got rid of them 10 years ago when I stopped liking them 10 years ago, I would have started doing social media detoxing 10 years ago instead of two and a half years ago. Right? Like I would have done the things that needed, that have changed me so much earlier, but instead I made excuses as to why I couldn’t do it yet. Do it.

(27:58)
Yeah, I think that’s a really high point for us to leave on is just like whatever that thing is that you feel too afraid to let go of or too afraid to leave behind. That’s probably the very thing that you were being called to lay down and to let go of. And it’s not so that, it’s not really from this place of losing, but really it’s opening your hands and it’s opening your heart to receive abundantly the goodness and the grace and the, you know, blessings that are waiting for you.

(28:31)
I hope you guys enjoyed the breast explant update and learned a lot about how to just really embody who God created you to be physically and emotionally and spiritually. And that, you know, you’re just worthy and know you’re loved and you’re enough. You’re everything just as you are. And I encourage you to just think about what those things are that you need to let go of.

(28:56)
Whether they’re physical, whether they are emotional or whether they are wishes and things you think you need to create happiness. Cause sisters, as you heard, that is definitely of the world. Any, anything of this world will always leave us wanting and wishing. So thanks for joining us on this episode. I just want you guys to come connect with me today.

(29:21)
I don’t have anything I want to mention any offer for you today. I just want you to come connect with me. If you resonated with this episode at all, slide into my DMs. Tell me so. Come into the mompreneur mastermind group on Facebook and share your favorite takeaway from today’s episode. I just want to hear from you. I just want to know that you are seen. You’re heard.

(29:42)
And you are so appreciated sisters. I lift you up in prayer. Now that God just reminds you of how incredible you are, that he encourages you right now, deeply to step into your own worthiness, to wrap you up in confidence and in a love for what he gifted you, your body and your mind, and all of the beautiful imperfections that come with it that make you so uniquely you and know that you are God’s daughter and he loves you so fiercely.

(30:17)
He just wants to be with us. And I pray that he encourages you to step into all that you are and all that you are called to be with excitement, love, and forgiveness and grace, because we’re all humans, but God knows this and he forgives us and with him, we are always always enough and forgiven and here’s to the max level. So thank you God, for your encouragement today.

(30:43)
We love you in Jesus name. Amen. I will meet you guys back here soon. Love and light, Stef.