Feel Like You’re Trying to Force Success? 3 Truths to Help

Hey Friend!

Are you trying to force success? In today’s quick tip Tuesday episode we are discussing the common mistake of trying to force success, control outcomes, and stress over everything.

If you’re anything like me, you find yourself KNOWING that God’s plan is bigger and better than yours, yet you keep leaning into your own strength. You keep wandering back to the ‘to-do-list’ instead of resting in the DONE-list.

Today I will be going over 3 simple revelations the Lord has revealed to me about operating as a Kingdom entrepreneur instead of a worldly one. I share some things I’m focusing on in my own life that I think will bless you, too.

I pray this blesses you.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:00):
Hey, friends! Welcome to today’s quick tip Tuesday. And what’s interesting is that this is not actually a question from Stephanie McFarland, but it’s actually a testimony that totally blessed me so much and helped me to come up with the quick conversation I wanna have with you today.

(00:17):
Because she talked a lot about sowing in the slow and what it means to sit in a season, to be present, to be really here for the moment. And we’re just gonna do a quick dive into that.

And I just pray that this finds you right on time that your heart is filled and your spirit is activated and God and the holy spirit are present and helping you discern through what it actually is that you should be focused on when living your life on heaven’s timeline instead of your own, and how to sow in the slow.

(01:49):
Hi Stef! This is also Steph. I was drawn to your podcast about a year ago when I was in heavy prayer season and in the interest of full disclosure, I’m not your ideal Lola. I’ve been a business for 10 years. I already have a podcast. I’ve been fortunate to author books that have been sold in multiple countries.

(02:07):
I’ve developed curricula for universities. I’ve been really clear on my calling for over 30 years. I feel very blessed in that regard, but I love your podcast, even though I’m not your avatar.

I learned something every time I listen to an episode, I’ve recommended you to other women I know who are struggling to discover what next. And I always feel full spiritually and with fellowship every time I listen.

So, as I do wanna affirm in something that you, I know you strive to tell your mamas, and that is to sow during the slow, as they’re building their businesses.

(02:39):
I used to get very panicky about my business, I wasn’t really busy each day. And as entrepreneurs, we’re told that if you’re not growing, you’re dying. But, God has shown me that’s just not true.

Slow can be a gift. It’s a time to sow, to plant seeds. It’s a time to stand in the here and now and be still and just know that He is God. Just take care of whatever He’s put in front of you for that day.

So thanks, Stef! Your podcast continues to bless me, those I know, and those I serve. Thank you!

(03:09):
All right, loves. I’m gonna do my best to keep a quick tip Tuesday timeline today. Thank you, Stephanie! You blessed me with your testimony, but you really blessed me even more with this message of sow in the slow.

Steph, I hope that that’s your next book title, cuz it’s baller y’all you can’t steal it. It’s been trademarked by Stephanie McFarland.

(03:32):
I just had a conversation with one of my mentors today around this concept of putting on this hat and then taking it off and then putting on this other hat and then taking it off.

And she asked me instead of trying to juggle all the hats and take them on and take them off what is God calling you to focus on when? And how can you find peace in that answer from God?

(03:57):
Because sometimes we want to wear the business hat, we want to wear and force the motherhood hat. Oh, I have two hours to be with my kids, force it.

It’s in the time block, put on the hat, the hat’s on, why am I not connecting or forcing the date night with your husband?

(04:10):
And then it feels forced and rushed and awkward. What if like these hats aren’t meant to be taken on and off at our discretion, but they’re meant to be taken on and off at God’s discretion.

And so really allowing God to position us in our focus, in whatever it is that we’re supposed to be.

(04:29):
And this isn’t just in the seasons of our life, but it’s in the day-to-day of our life. So here are some Bible scriptures on focus specifically that I wanted to bring up Proverbs 16:3, Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established.

(04:44):
This is your work and your business, the work of your hands, the work of your home, and the work of your heart. And it’s Lord, help me focus on what actually matters today.

And then for me, my prayer is, and help me find peace in that father, help me to not feel guilt or shame around choosing to wear the motherhood hat or choosing to wear the business hat right now because you’ve, you’ve led me to that.

(05:09):
So, I release any feelings of unacceptance over this thing that you are asking me to do right now, Lord.

(05:16):
Next one, Romans 12:2, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable, and perfect. Don’t listen to what the world tells you to focus on.

(05:32):
Maybe the world says go grow, but maybe God and the holy spirit are whispering to you to slow and sow. And so we have to not be conformed by the world in their messaging, but to renew our minds where? In scripture, in His word.

And then we will be able to discern what is the will of God. And so God’s will is always gonna lead us to what is good, acceptable, and perfect.

(06:03):
Lastly, Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. So sometimes the hardest thing to do is rest. Sometimes the hardest thing is to be in a slow season or to really give this moment our full attention, pour into presence, present moments, and have peace over it.

I had a crazy revelation about myself today in this conversation with my mentor. And it was that I’ve associated peacefulness with laziness. Talk about a revelation.

(06:43):
And I realized that about myself going, why do I feel so guilty when I sit, why do I feel so guilty when I’m not doing, whether it’s the laundry or the to-do list or the forced connection, and it’s because I’ve associated peacefulness with laziness and we can dig into those thought beliefs that actually come from the world.

(07:08):
And sometimes they come from childhood or a teacher or they’re inherent to whatever your generational upbringing, I don’t know, only you and God know, but the truth is we have to uncover those things so that we can walk with God and he will strengthen us.

So the first one is, what do you need to focus on? Surrender to that and pray that God gives you peace, and that you’re able to be fully present in that thing that holy spirit is asking of you each day. I hope that makes sense.

(07:38):
Number two is you guys are all building businesses and most of you have kids whether they’re small kids, medium kids, old kids, or grandkids. And sometimes we feel panicky.

Like Stephanie mentioned in her testimony about building the business, scaling the business, having success, get to this point, 10K, 100K, 500 K.

(07:59):
But the truth is you actually have very little control over your growth. That may be counterintuitive to what you think I stand for. But the truth is that we can only grow as fast as God says, we’re ready to grow.

All we can do is show up an obedience to do the thing, trust him, and do it distraction-free. Pray that God shows us what to focus on. Live with some semblance of holy spirit-led balance daily. And then trust that heaven’s timeline is better than ours.

(08:35):
And that’s growth. Growth to me is I don’t know what God wants a year from now. And I don’t know what God wants two decades from now, but I’m here for it. And I’m willing to find out and I’m actively working on surrendering my timeline for heaven’s timeline.

(08:50):
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says for everything there is a season and a time for every matter, under heaven, for everything there is a season. Did you hear that? For everything, your business, your marriage, your health, your motherhood, your mindset, your success, the hard things we walk through, everything has a season.

(09:13):
Do you know how many there are? There are four seasons. It is not summer all the time. And the good news. It’s not winter all the time, but here’s the greatest news of all. There is provision, favor, and breakthrough in every season, winter, spring, summer, and fall, each season has its beautiful blessing.

(09:41):
Some are seasons of rest, of growth, of pruning of whatever else there is, my loves. It is all about the seasons and trusting him and knowing that God says there is a time for every matter under heaven and you are under heaven’s rule and under heaven’s timeline. So actively surrendering to that timeline.

(10:07):
And then the last thing I just wanna talk to you guys about today is this concept of sow in the slow that Stephanie brought up. In the winter seasons and sometimes the spring seasons and even sometimes in the fall, there are different levels of sowing.

And instead of us forcing through these seasons of slow, which, even though it feels, slow, things grow, things can grow during the slow. Because we don’t always see what’s happening.

(10:45):
When you plant a seed, you don’t notice the first sprout that comes out from the seed because it’s still underground. You don’t actually see it, but you water it and you cultivate, and maybe you till the garden and do all the little things to help the seed.

(11:00):
And finally, you see that little seed sprout and you don’t know the kind of growth that’s been happening below the surface. And so things are growing in the slow, but we have to focus on the sowing and that looks different in each of our lives.

(11:16):
But all I know is that there should be peace around it. There should be peace when you say yes in obedience to the call, whether it’s in your business or to parent a different way.r

Or to be more resilient and patient in your marriage, or God calls you to do this thing or calls you to ministry or calls you to business.

(11:35):
It’s not meant to always be summer and it’s definitely not gonna be summer without the spring. And it’s not gonna be spring without the fall. So you have to remember to trust God’s timeline, go to what God’s asking you to focus on today, and then just trust in the sowing.

(11:57):
I did the thing you asked me to do today, and now I’m gonna go live in peace. I think that’s the biggest thing I’m hearing right now is daughter, live in peace, go in peace, grow in peace, serve in peace, sell in peace. That’s even a thing, guys.

Sell in peace, and know that the right people will be here. Just truly choosing to live my life spirit-forward from a peace-led perspective. And that means sowing in the slow, that means resting in the winter seasons.

(12:33):
And sometimes seasons are short, a few days, and sometimes seasons may be a few years. I don’t know, but I know that I’m gonna work actively on trusting God and believing that He has me.

A verse that keeps coming up for me lately is Matthew 25.

(12:52):
I think I even referenced this in one of my episodes in the last couple of weeks. Matthew 6:25-34, therefore I tell you do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink nor about your body. What you will put on is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air. They never sow nor reap nor gather into barns yet you’re having only Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

(13:17):
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to your span of life. And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, and how they grow. They never toil nor spin yet I tell you even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

(13:33):
My point is that you are well taken care of. You are loved and valued just as you are. You are taken care of without forcing anything. There is healing for us without worry.

There is restoration and redemption over our stories, over our sin, over all the things we’ve walked through and felt like a failure in, there is sowing in the slow.

And there’s also reaping in those reap seasons, in the growth seasons. And I think God is saying, just show up for it in peace, daughter. I’ve got every single thing taken care of for you.

(14:22):
And I can’t wait to show you the beautiful garden that comes through your obedience in trusting me. So I hope this blessed you today, as much as it blessed me. And thank you, Steph, for your beautiful word today!

(14:38):
We are so honored that you submitted this for us. One, know what to focus on by asking Holy Spirit daily. Then actively live in peacefulness in whatever God’s answer is.

Pouring in with 100% heart, peace and purpose without guilt or shame around the thing God asked you to show up in that day. Even if it’s not the hat you would’ve chosen to wear, you put on the hat that God hands you and you wear it well.

(15:10):
Number two, you surrender your timeline for heaven’s timeline and you trust that He has everything worked out. You don’t need to know the outcome.

(15:21):
You quite frankly don’t even need to know the full out destination. You just need to know the direction that God is calling you too.

And then trusting in it. Not worry at all, which brings us to number three, sowing in the slow and resting into the season, peacefully, living in whatever season it is.

(15:42):
And recognizing that peacefulness is not laziness. Peacefulness is godliness, John 16:33. I have said these things to you that in me, you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation but take heart. I have overcome the world.

(16:06):
Colossians 3:15. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful. John 14:27, Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give, let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid.

(16:29):
You can have peace. I pray that you find this conversation right on time, that you are cleansed of distraction. You are cleansed of shame, frustration, overwhelm. Fully surrender to God’s newfound peacefulness.

That holy spirit shows you what to focus song daily, and you get to live free and light, yoked up with Him. Spirit forward, showing up with joy, intention, peace, and purpose in every step that you take every single day, knowing that heaven’s timeline is here.

You are walking it out and you can be fully surrendered to the fact that God knows where you’re going more than you do.

(17:17):
And lastly, that you’re trusting of the season that you’re in. Just resting in knowing that whatever season God has you in, there’s growth, there’s sowing, there’s pruning and there’s blossoming.

And that He knows exactly what you need when you need it. And all we need to bring to the table is obedience. Yes. Amen. Action. And a whole lot of trust. Amen.

I’ll meet you guys back on Thursday. God bless you. Big hug. See you soon.