6 Steps to Doing The Thing That Scares You The Most (From My Personal Experience)!

Hey Friend!

Today we’re talking about doing the thing that scares you most. From my personal experience, I have a couple of things that I find really scary and I’ve talked about them to you in the past. One was traveling alone. The only way to overcome this fear is to actually do the thing. I’m happy to report that I have been traveling alone a handful of times since airing that episode. And I have to say I’m not really scared of it anymore.

The second thing was public speaking. I know that might completely shock you, thinking that’s what you do for a living Stef, but I do it from behind a mic. I do it from behind a screen. To me, there’s some kind of mental shift that happens when you ask me to get up on a big, scary stage in front of all kinds of people. Small groups of people, no problem. I’m talking about an actual stage with lots of human beings staring at me. I want to avoid it.

So, I had an opportunity through my church to come and do a reading for the church, which is no big deal. But our church is BIG! There’s probably, I don’t know, five hundred to a thousand people per service. And there are three services.

I Wanted to Run the Other Way

Everything inside of me wanted to say, no, absolutely not, and run the other way. But I’ve been working with myself to press into the things that I find uncomfortable, so I can raise the lid on my discomfort level. I want to continuously push myself higher and higher and higher so I’m eventually unafraid of many things.

I think the only way that we grow in our kingdom authority is to push through the earthly fears that we face. So I said yes and I went through six steps to actually make it to the other side. I’m happy to report, friends, I didn’t die and I’m still here. And now I get to share with you the six steps to doing the thing that scares you the most.

What’s the Thing You’ve Wanted to Do?

So what is it? Write it down on a sheet of paper. What’s the thing you’ve been wanting to do or want to do in the future but it gives you instant anxiety? Instead of doing it, you run the other way or you make up a hundred reasons why:

• You Shouldn’t Do That Thing
• Now’s Not the Time
• Maybe You’re Not Qualified
• In Five Years It’s Going to Make More Sense
• When the Kids Start School
• Maybe When This Thing Happens
• When You Have More Financial Resources
• Whenever You Learn to Be Comfortable in That Area

What’s the THING that you really want to do but the fear is keeping you from taking action? Write it on a sheet of paper because I want you to envision it as I go reveal these six things that I went through. If you were to do that, what could this look like for you? Because maybe getting to the other side of that thing for you is actually a lot closer than you think. Are you ready? Let’s go.

Testimonial

“Howdy? I’m Victor with the God’s Adopted podcast, and I just wanted to give a shout-out and a big thank you to Stefanie Gass for two of her online courses that I’ve recently taken basically one month and then followed by another month.

And so after two months, I have a podcast that I’ve kicked off called God’s Adopted. The first course was Clarify Your Calling, which really helped me focus on clarifying what I’m supposed to be doing in this season of life and ministry and potentially business one day.

Then the second one, Podcast Pro University, a step-by-step and easy-to-follow instructions on establishing an actual podcast. But even more so, being able to know what to record and how to go about recording and setting everything up and even creating a format that can be repeated. Anyway, so thank you so much, and blessings to your business.”

It’s Really Very Simple

Victor, I’m so happy for you! I’m so excited that your podcast is in the world and the work you do can now be shared with so many more people. I love the way that Victor broke down the simplicity of what the framework that I’ve created offers in CYC. It’s really:

• Getting Clear
• Getting Clarity
• Feeling Unstuck

And feeling sure that the business you’re building is something that’s in alignment with God’s plan for you. That the gifts and the things that you’re qualified with are going to be put to great use, and you’re going to confidently know how to put that into a business plan.

Then he mentioned his personal experience of taking PPU, which is a very, he says, step-by-step foundational framework that will show you how to get your podcast into the world. All of this, by the way, for Victor took sixty days going through and getting clarity and actually bringing his podcast to life.

So friends, head on over to the Stefanie Gass School. Shop around and see what course might be the right fit for you. If you have a personal experience testimony like Victor, or you have a question for me that you want me to air on the show, go to my website, scroll all the way down, and leave me a recording. We would love to feature you.

Personal Experience Step 1: Just Say Yes!

Let’s get into my personal experience story. So I received a request to come and do this reading at my church, all three services. Here is the first step. This is the pivotal decision-making point in time where you have to lean into the discomfort. Everything inside of me was like, “Make excuses, say no.” And really it wasn’t so much I didn’t have the time because we were actually home that weekend. It probably would be perfectly fine.

The problem I was afraid. I was afraid to stand on the stage. I was afraid that I was going to sound nervous. That was my big fear. So I paused on it and took a moment. I remember being in the gym and telling my husband, “You know, I don’t really have time.” He said, “Maybe you should just do it.” I could tell in my spirit I was supposed to do it, that maybe this was a stepping stone for me. So before I could allow myself to overthink it, this is about two weeks prior to the speaking date. I just said yes. So step one is: Just. Say Yes.

There is always a reason not to do it. There’s always a reason why the timing isn’t exactly right. But if we just say yes, we make the commitment to face our fear.

Step 2: Prep and Practice

After I said yes, I received the reading I was going to be doing. That led me to step two, prep and practice. In my own personal experience, I get nervous and fearful because I’m going into unknown territory, right? It’s uncharted waters. So what I did was rehearse and I read it out loud. I read it:

• In Front of My Kids
• To My Husband
• In the Car

I even practiced holding the microphone up. As I prepped and practiced, I became more comfortable with what I was about to do. So as you’re facing this thing you’re about to do, how can you prepare and maybe even practice? I know that maybe for you, your fear is not a speaking engagement. Maybe your fear is starting the podcast. So go in your car, hide out in your closet, get your phone, and record a three-minute practice episode just to show yourself that you are actually capable at a micro-level of doing this thing that you’re afraid of.

From my personal experience, prepping and practicing really showed me that if I can do this just by myself and in front of a few people, it’s going to be the same exact thing, just on a wider scale.

Step 3: Don’t Overthink It

Step three is don’t overthink it. As I sat there for two weeks overanalyzing all the things, it made me have these moments of anxiety. But when I would just get really busy, I wouldn’t even think about it. And so I made a decision about halfway through, like, I’m done thinking about this. I’m doing it. It’s going to be great. I prayed over it. I’ve released it to the Lord. I’ve asked Him for calm, confidence, and that’s enough. It’s going to be what it’s going to be.

I had to make the decision to just not think about it. And when I would find myself thinking about it, do something else. Because the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, right? It’s not the actual doing. It’s not the thing because we have no idea how that thing is going to go. It is the perception of:

• Messing Up?
• Failure?
• Or Whatever?

This elusive outcome that may or may not happen, that we’re actually holding onto is causing the fear and anxiety. So if we don’t allow our minds to go there, we can get to the end result faster, and we can get it done. Because until we actually get it done, we don’t have a new baseline on which to base our fear or maybe eradicate our fear. Then you realize, wow, that wasn’t as hard as I thought.

Step 4: Pray and Trust

Okay, step number four is to pray and trust. I think when we’re doing something we’re afraid of, it’s easy to not take that to God, to not surrender it, to try to control it and to do all these things I’ve talked about. Things like overanalyzing and getting stuck in your fear spiral. So for me, I just said, “Lord, give me the confidence. Help me to be calm. I’m asking for calm confidence. I’m asking for peace. Wrap this opportunity for me in you. Make this about You, Lord, and not about me. Help me to have that mindset that this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.” When I found myself in that spiral and fear, I would just say that prayer and trust Him that He was going to take care of it.

Step 5: Do It

Step five is to do it. So the day comes and I had to be there really super early to go through the rehearsal. Then we were going to have three services. Thankfully there was a rehearsal. It really helps to trace your steps a little bit, to almost do the thing you’re about to do.

Whether in your mind or whether you can physically do it the first time, it helps you to realize this is:

• Where I’m Going to Walk?
• What I’m Going to Do?
• When I’m Going to Go Out There?
• How I’m Going to Do the Microphone?
• Where I’m Going to Stand?
• What It Feels Like to Be Up Here?

Going through the rehearsal, it was totally fine, except that I missed a word. It’s an empty auditorium with just the staff all staring at you. That one was a little bit like a seven out of ten, minus the word that I skipped. But it helped so much to do that run-through. So do it, just do it once.

Step 6: Analyze and Ask

Then what I did, which is step six, I analyzed it. So as soon as we were done with the run-through, I said, “Okay, I’m going to take a deep breath, and I’m going to read really a little bit slower with some intentionality, and I won’t skip the word.” So by the time the first service came around, I had practiced a lot and I had surrendered it. The Lord’s peace was over me. I didn’t even look at people. Instead, I focused on where I was supposed to stand, take a deep breath, and read the reading.

I didn’t miss any words for that one! Then I walked off and I felt complete confidence about it. I think it was a nine out of ten. So then I analyzed it, and I felt that the next time I wanted to give it a little bit more oomph. I wanted to have a little bit more storytelling in my voice.

So actually, the third time I did it, was for the second service. I went out and gave it even a little bit more. That’s the huge service my husband was at. It was a little bit more pressure, but I feel that one was a ten out of ten. And then by the third time I did it, my personal experience was like easy-peasy lemon-squeezy. I was like, “Sign me up, I’m ready to do this again.”

Personal Experience Has Set a New Baseline

So the point of me walking through these steps with you is that I’ve now set a new baseline for my fear of public speaking. I feel way more comfortable and know that I can get on a stage and not sound nervous. I know that I can get through something. These steps help me feel prepared and confident.

I’ve learned some things that will help me navigate this when the opportunity arises again. Because when God opens a door, sometimes there is just no option but for you to walk through it. I know that He paves the way and He gives us what we can handle. He helps us ease in because He is a kind, God.

That’s definitely what He was doing for me. But if I had said no, I wouldn’t be moving up my own personal experience, and inner bandwidth to become a speaker and be okay with those in-person experiences.

Recap and Bonus Step

Remember the first step is to say yes. The second step is knowing that you can prep and practice, which will help you feel confident. Step number three, don’t overthink it. Accept that it’s happening and that you’re going to do the best you can the first time around. Keep yourself busy. Keep your mind off of the thing that’s going to happen except when you’re prepping and practicing.

Step number four is to pray and trust. Because if God opened the door for you, He will make sure that you are taken care of. Step number five, just do it. Rip off the band-aid. Show up, do it, launch it, create it, ride it, speak it, and get it done. Step number six, analyze and ask yourself, how can I improve on this next time? Not in a negative way, but in a positive way. How can I make this one percent better or more thorough? And then finally, the bonus step, do it again.

You’ve Got This!

I pray this story from my personal experience blessed you, friend. If you are staring into the face of something that is scary for you, know that you’re not alone. Know that it’s part of being a business owner, it’s part of being a follower of Christ. We all are going to face lots of scary, hard things in our journeys. All we have to do is armor up and walk beside Him in excited anticipation of what He is doing through us.

Focus on how we can be the hands and feet of Christ through this hard thing that we’re doing and realize and recognize it’s not even about us. It’s about the message that we’re speaking and the gift that we’re bringing. I love you guys so much. Keep showing up, keep shining, and I’ll see you back here again really soon.

I pray this blesses you!

Xo,

Stef

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