Today we are digging into a topic you may not want to hear. But, I encourage you – don’t look away. Hear me and this message with an open heart and an open mind. You never know what truths God is revealing. It’s time to start asking questions about why we are doing what we are doing and STOP accepting what the world says as ‘normal’. Daring to be different and go against the grain is never easy, but for some of you it will be right. It will be time.
Here’s the truth: You’re being given a drug. Not just sometimes, not just daily… but for most of you – it’s hourly. Dosed… without your consent. Day over day, minute over minute.
When incredibly powerful artificial intelligence is paired with human behavior tracking algorithms, an army of engineers, and billions of dollars – this is a war we lose. Unless, we wake up, armor up, and stand up for what’s right.
If you’ve known deep down that something isn’t right. That you should be able to live peacefully without a phone in your hand. That you sit anxiously waiting for the next ‘fix’… ‘hit’ of IG or FB. You are going to be SHOCKED at the tricks and manipulation tactics that got you HERE. It’s not your fault, sis. But, it is your responsibility to face this head-on. You can put a STOP to social media’s control over you.
Listen in to today’s JUICY episode to find out more and most importantly, to find out HOW TO DETOX and take your precious moments back. Break free from this debilitating addiction that you’ve been tricked into. And, re-claim your life. It’s time to partner with God in making changes that will impact generations to come.
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
(00:01): Hey loves. How are you? Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to be talking to you guys today. This topic is a little triggering. So I do want to give you a disclaimer that you may not like it. You may not like what God reveals through this conversation we’re about to have, but I encourage you to have an open heart and an open mind because the truth is not always easy, but it is always liberating.
(00:29): It is always worth it to be able to see what’s real and what’s right. And to let go of lies and worldly deception, which is absolutely what is happening. Today, we are talking about a drug, an actual drug that you are being given not only on a daily basis, but on an hour by hour calculated drip basis through AI, artificial intelligence algorithms, massive teams of engineers and billions of dollars.
(01:08): Call me a conspiracy theorist or not. I don’t care. This is truly what’s happening. I’ve known this has been happening for years because I’ve felt it to the depths of my bones. I’ve known that social media creates an addiction for me after 24 hours of being on the platforms, all of a sudden, I no longer control my finger. I no longer control not touching my phone. I no longer control how present I am in my daily life. That is a problem.
(01:42): And while I’ve done things to remedy that, like getting off social media every weekend, being more conscious of how much time I spend on these apps. I didn’t know what I didn’t know until I watched the Social Dilemma. It’s a documentary on Netflix. You all need to go watch it. I highly recommend you do it sooner than later, because who knows they might remove it. And now that I’ve seen the truth, I can’t unsee it. Let’s dig in.
(03:03): Hey guys, before we talk all about this drug, which is social media, you guys are probably thinking I’m nuts with this topic. Just hear me out, just pray over this and see what is revealed to you. I truly believe that God will bring you whatever truth is necessary for you and whatever changes God wants you to make. He will make those clear, but it all starts with having an open heart and having an open mind to just receiving information.
(03:35): You guys, if we are not willing to ask the hard questions, how will we ever see the truth? The truth is not what we are told, right? What we are told is the deception. The truth is you asking hard questions, you doing the work. And ultimately you having that conversation with God about what is right and real for you. And then you doing it, even though the rest of the world is not.
(04:00): You making the changes even though everybody thinks you’re crazy, that is truth. I choose to live my life in godly truth. And I really encourage you to start asking more questions. Why am I doing this? Why is this okay? Why is this the only way? Why is this being normalized? What idols do I have in my life every day, every moment, every minute, why can’t I put my phone down? Why can’t I delete these apps?
(04:33): How big is the idol of technology and social media in your life and in your business? And what excuses are you making to validate it? What is going on for you that isn’t allowing you to see the truth. You’ve got to remove those barriers and you’ve got to get more open with yourself about what’s going on and what needs to change because the truth you’ve heard this, but the truth will set you free.
(05:03): It will set you free. I’ve never been more liberated than when I finally admitted. I have an addiction and my addiction is Instagram and my addiction is Facebook. And my addiction is likes and validation from strangers on the internet. And I’m done with this addiction. I didn’t know why I had this addiction. I thought that it was self-induced. I thought this is my doing. I’ve chosen to pick up my phone 20 million hours a day.
(05:40): I’ve chosen to spend over four hours, five hours, six hours a day on a tech device, a phone or a computer or whatever. I thought that I was choosing it. And then I brought it to God and He said, lay it down a couple of years ago. And actually He had to intervene and break my phone. This is how bad it was. And I do believe God had a hand in this because I was aware of my addiction, but I was still unwilling to change it.
(06:05): And so I was praying to God, to like reveal idols and help me change and what’s going on on. And so my phone broke on a vacation in Minnesota two or three years ago, and I could not use my phone for three days. Everything worked out perfectly to where I couldn’t even use it, it was literally broken.
(06:26): The Apple store, they’re closed at a certain time, we couldn’t make it to the store back at the mall of America in time for the flight. Like all these things happened at the perfect storm to where I couldn’t use my phone for three days. And at first you guys, it was an actual withdrawal like withdrawals as if you were on a narcotic drug. As if you are an alcoholic, I was like, shifty.
(06:54): My eyes would go back to the phone. Like, why can’t I can use it? I’d asked my husband, can I just log in through your phone? I need a fix. That’s how bad it is, like I’m not exaggerating. Like I need a fix. I need to log into my Instagram and to log into my Facebook. What do I do? I’ll pay anything. I’ll pay anything for a new phone.
(07:12): I’ll go anywhere. Let me borrow the rental car. I’ll drive three hours back to the mall of America so that I can get my phone fixed. Something is wrong with that, sisters. Why is this normal behavior? Why is it okay? Why is it normal that we can not put down the phones. We cannot delete the apps.
(07:42): Have you really considered the level of addiction that you have? Here’s some questions to ask yourself that I started to ask myself. When is the last time I went to the bathroom without my phone? When is the last time my children have seen me without a phone in my hand? When is the last time I ate a meal without my phone on the table? When was the last time? It’s an addiction.
(08:17): Now, here’s my problem with this. I thought it was my doing. I thought I chose this addiction. Well, after watching the social dilemma and let me rewind for a minute. After that trip to Minnesota, about 24 to 48 hours into the detox of technology and of social media, I felt this newfound sense of freedom. I felt liberated. I felt free. I could see clearly. My fingers weren’t itching to touch my phone. My mind wasn’t being triggered for another fix.
(08:50): I was free and I could see, and I could, and the colors outside were brighter and the air was fresher and my relationships were strengthened and my present moments were heightened. I noticed where I was going. Like, if you have a constant distraction pulling at your attention, you’re not fully there. If any of you have been friends with an addict, known an addict, had a parent who is an addict, in a relationship, maybe you have been an actual addict.
(09:25): Were you ever really, truly able to live? Was that person ever really, truly able to be free or they always bound by this need and this want for the drug? Is that how you want to live your life? Because here’s the truth. Not only are we choosing to stay addicted to social media and technology, but we are actually being dosed.
(09:52): This is the crazy part. Okay. And it’s funny, cause I kind of knew this was happening, but I didn’t know the extent as to which it was happening until I watched the social dilemma, the documentary where a whole bunch of really high up powerful people from all different tech companies, Facebook and Google and Amazon and Pinterest and executives from the boards of Twitter all come out and they all talk about the algorithms that they helped create to push addiction of these apps on to us.
(10:29): Why? Because we’re just consumers. We’re not real people. We’re just consumers who spend money on ads. And the more money that we spend on ads, the more their stock prices go up, the more the shareholders are able to pocket. And the more time that we spend on the apps, the more money that we spend on the ads, do you see this?
(10:55): So what they did is they built all of these algorithms in the backend. All of this AI intelligence is artificial intelligence that focused on our behavior, our consumer behavior and said, what did they click on? What does she stay on? What does she like? What makes her click open this app? Which notifications make her click and the AI, bots got smarter and smarter.
(11:19): And over the past decade, they have become so smart that we are spending between literally five and 12 hours a day, staring at a screen that is controlled by the corporations who are selling us, the ads. Do you think that’s real life, do you think staring at your phone for that number of hours is healthy for you, for your family, for your kids, for your business? And here’s the saddest part of all. We make excuses as to why it’s okay.
(11:57): Myself included. Oh, but I run a business over here. I run a business on social. I can’t get off. Oh, believe me, sisters and Stefanie, you can get off because for the past year and a half, I’ve been getting off of the apps every weekend, minus two or three, if I’m doing a launch for the past year and a half, and my business has gone from $4,000 months to then 10, 15, 20, 30, 60, $75,000 months.
(12:29): The amount of time I’m spending on social media has declined drastically and yet my income has exploded. So I call BS on the lie from the world, from the enemy. Yes, the enemy is using this as a tool to distract you and to keep you from godly success from godly provision. God doesn’t want your face in the phone for four to 12 hours a day.
(12:58): God wants you to look up, to breathe, to live, to serve. He wants you to see your kids, really see them, eat dinner as a family, spend time with Him, get in scripture, read a book, just take a walk, He wants you to feel something, feel anything, and stop using your phone as an emotional bandaid and as a distraction from what’s actually going on in your life.
(13:27): And we make excuses as to why this is just, okay. I don’t know. I run a business over here. I can’t get off. Yes you can. And you need to, and you should. I’ve never felt more free than I do right now. When I get off of the apps. Now, after I watched the documentary, I went a whole nother level because I’m like, okay, number one, I knew that this was addicting, but number two, I didn’t know that I was being dosed that like they were pouring money.
(13:59): And all of this AI into tricking me into staying on the app longer, into loading the next video that was going to keep my attention into creating false news and fake news that was distracting me and causing divisiveness. I didn’t know that I was upon in a huge scheme to create a divide in the world and just create massive power corporations that are social media.
(14:31): If you think this is a platform where you are loved and they want you to build your business and have friends, sorry to bust your bubble, their billion dollar corporations that are getting bigger and more powerful by the minute, every minute that you give them of your precious time on earth, your precious moments you have here, they are profiting at a higher and higher capacity. They run the narrative, they run the news that you see.
(14:59): They run the algorithms, they run the backend, they have the strings, you’re a puppet and they have the strings. They have the power. Are you done with that? Or do you want to continue to say yes to being owned? Okay. So that’s been a bunch of gloom and doom. So hear me out for a second. I’m not saying we have to fully get rid of social media because I get it. We do run businesses. We are here to make profit in our businesses.
(15:30): Some of you are some of my most incredible friends and clients, and I met you on social media. There are good things that come out of everything. As I just said on my other episode about laying it down for the Lord, right? Like good things can come from anything, but the enemy can also use everything of this world for evil.
(15:53): And he’s so has his fingers and his hands all over how social media and technology is being used to pull you from your purpose and to pull you from your children. And you don’t even want to know what they’re doing to your kids, you don’t even want to know. Go watch the social dilemma for the rest of that story.
(16:11): But here’s where I’m at. I choose to not be addicted. I choose to not be dosed by this drug every day, every hour, every minute, I choose what I look at. I choose to control my own life. I choose to do my life God’s way. And I know that God wouldn’t want this for me. He wouldn’t want this for you. He wants us to see truth. He wants us to live a life of meaning and of impact.
(16:40): So are you willing to admit your addiction? I have. Are you willing to look at yourself in the mirror and have a hard conversation about what needs to actually change? I am. Are you willing to lay it down for the Lord? I am. And are you willing to then make some small changes to effectively break yourself of this addiction? I am finally, are you ready to create generational change?
(17:12): You, mamas, friends. You are the deciding factor as to whether this social media, this technology written addiction, whether it’s normalized in your household or whether you break that cycle by being the example, by not letting your kids see you on the phone, every waking minute by letting your children have meals without technology present. When’s the last time?
(17:40): Let me go back to the questions. When’s the last time, what behaviors do we as parents normalize because our children are reflections of us. We have the power right now to show them what’s real true and purposeful. So I’m choosing to show my children that when I play with them, I don’t need a box in my hand. I don’t need to look to see if somebody liked my photo.
(18:10): I don’t need my phone at the table. I don’t need my phone in the bathroom, in the shower. I don’t need it with me there. And so they don’t need it there. Everything they do, you wonder why your kids want to be on the screen so much? Well, is that what you’re doing? I know this is heavy. I know this is hard and I am not judging you. I’m here with you. I am guilty, but guess what? We can change it. We have the power.
(18:44): We have the knowledge, thank God, to transform our presence, to transform how we treat social media. So here’s what I’m doing, you guys, and I encourage you to pray over this. What I’ve already done. All notifications are off all the time. I don’t get one ping ding ring. Nope. If I want to look at my phone, I will intentionally do that. No notifications, none. Same thing on my laptop.
(19:18): Number two, all the apps are off my phone. Yes. You heard that, right? I used to just take them off on the weekends. They’re gone for good, no more Facebook, messenger, Instagram, Pinterest, none of the apps live on my phone because I need to make it non-accessible for myself to just click, mindlessly clicking. That is how addictions are creative mindlessly picking up the cigarette, mindlessly drinking the beer, mindlessly taking whatever. You know what I mean?
(19:48): Like you’ve got to have intentionality. We are not more powerful than these AI machines. And that’s the sad truth. We are just humans with the same brain that we’ve had for thousands and thousands of years. But yet artificial intelligence is getting smarter and smarter and smarter and it has more brain power than we do. So we have to make those intentional choices.
(20:11): The third thing I’m doing, because Instagram is so smart, I will give them credit. And you have to have your phone to post Instagram stories. I am then downloading the app because I do run a business. I get it one hour every day. I don’t know what time that is. It’s whenever I have an hour to deal with Instagram, I put it back on my phone. I literally re-install it.
(20:35): I show up in stories, post all the updates, clean out the inbox, comment back to everybody, put out content if I want to and then I deleted again. One hour a day, Monday through Thursday, maybe Friday, we’ll see. I just started this this week. It feels so good.
(20:54): Facebook, I can log in through my computer, but I’ve made it hard for myself. Do I really want to get up? Go to my computer log into Facebook? No, not really. Next. I am choosing intentionally that when I am doing something of purpose to not have my phone in my hands. So yesterday we were playing chess with our oldest, Miles and you know, it’s so funny.
(21:29): Cause like, now that you, once I saw the documentary and like, I have this heightened sense of reality, I’m watching my husband just literally check his phone, like every five seconds, like look at the phone. And then my phone went off, which was on the table behind him. And he’s like, Oh, your phone went off. And he handed it to me and I was like, no thanks. And, and he said, Oh, but it’s Stephanie, it’s your friend. And I was like, no, I’m keeping my phone away from me so that I don’t look at it right now while we play with Miles.
(22:01): And he was like, Oh, and he took my phone and his phone. And he placed them away where we couldn’t touch them. And so there’s also that, like, you’re not just the example for your kids. You’re the example for your spouse. And the best way for us to create ripples of change is to do the behaviors ourselves and just model them. We are more impactful than we think. You think no one’s looking at you, you think no, one’s watching you, touch your phone every five seconds. They are.
(22:36): They are subconsciously registering that this is what normalcy is. This is what mommy does. This is what daddy does. It’s not okay. So I’m putting my phone out of reach. So ask yourself, what are moments of purpose? What are moments of meaning in my life when you deem something as a moment of purpose or meaning, go put your phone in another room, because I’m also here to tell you, this is not your fault.
(23:11): You’re being tricked. You have been dosed, you are addicted. And now we have to fight this addiction. And it’s not your fault. It’s not, but we have to remove the substance, the drug from our reach, or we will not be able to say no. So I put my phone in another room during moments of meaning, what does that mean? It means dinner. It means evenings with my kids. It means games, family time. If we go outside to play together .
(23:46): Well yesterday we were painting some furniture. I left my phone away so that I could fully be there with my husband. These are the moments that matter. I do not want to be in a drug induced state. And when my phone is near me, I’m sorry. That’s what’s happening. I’m not able to be fully present and give them what they deserve. And I also don’t want them to think that that’s okay.
(24:12): When I look into the future and I visualize my children as husbands with their own wives and their own children, I pray, I hope, I pray out to God like, Lord, let me have been this changemaker for them. Let me have been the one to show them that being present is not living through a phone and living through this facade of strangers on the internet. It’s being, truly being here with your kids, with your wife. And if that’s all I do, and if none of you make one change, that’s okay with me. But I feel called to at least say my piece right now. And at least I pray that God will touch some of you to make some changes in your life.
(25:07): The next one. So removing the drug out of the room during moments of meaning, the next one is once a month, y’all are going to freak out, I know you guys so well. Once a month, I am having a full on technology fast one day per month. This means no TV, no phone, no internet, no apps, literally not one iota of something that takes electricity for an entire 24 hours. Why am I doing that? Because while I delete the apps, I still go to the news. I still go to the internet. I still look things up at off of a whim.
(25:47): I don’t need to live in a world where every fleeting thought that I have means I need an answer immediately. That’s not how God created us to be. He created us to be deep thinkers. He created us to have moments of silence. He created us to wonder. He created us to wonder and wander. And when we have a phone, we’re constantly looking for a solution and immediate solution by using the internet, by texting a friend, whatever.
(26:14): So once a month, I need to prove to myself, to my family and to God that he’s enough. God is enough in my life. I don’t have to have an answer to every strange little thought that I get in my brain every day. It’s not enough, but once a month is a start for me to show God, you’re enough. This is good.
(26:43): It’s good for me to wonder. It’s good for me to wander around and wonder what to do with myself. It’s good. It’s good for me to sit here and have critical thinking and journal and pick up the book that had been too distracted to read, to sit here and play with my kids, to clean out the closet, to catch up on whatever and not have to do it while multitasking.
(27:05): So that’s something else doing. Here’s another thing I’m doing. My children matter. My kids matter so much to me. And the way that I allow them to be influenced, I was trying to think of how to say that, it matters. So for a long time, now they have not been allowed to just watch mindless TV, like YouTube. YouTube is full of ads that are really damaging for children.
(27:36): Some of the games your kids play have really awful ads on them and you really need to take a look at what you’re allowing your children to play. Roblocks has some situations, google it, you’ll find out. There are ways that you can put in safeguards in place as well. If you have older children, please go listen to Dolly Denson’s podcast to be That Mom mMovement Podcast.
(27:59): If you have younger children like me, we have it easier right now, just limit the screen time and limit what you allow them to play. We have some apps that I approve of, and those are the only apps that my children are allowed to play. Yes, they’re paid. And that stinks because we’re spending money on things that should be free. There’s so many free opportunities on the phones. Okay? I understand that.
(28:24): But those have ads and these ads are again, creating an addiction. These ads are keeping your child on the app longer. The ads are also a lot of times really damaging. They are targeted towards children and they’re not good. And I’ve seen them with my own eyes. And so what I’m saying is you need to vet what you allow your children to do on the screens. And you need to limit that.
(28:49): You have the power at this age, my kids are seven and almost four, like, well, almost seven, almost four. I’m their parent. They will have boundaries. And those boundaries used to be pretty excessive. It was an hour a day and it was incredible. Then COVID happened and it crept up. And I’m here to say and raise my hand and say, I’m failing, but I’m also doing my best.
(29:14): And so what we’ve come to is this agreement of like, Hey, two and a half hours a day, roughly is realistic for where we’re at right now with COVID and with all the things but it’s on apps we approve of. So I’ve got code spark, which is a coding app. It’s great. We have simply piano. It’s amazing. My son can play the piano because of this app. We allow them to do ABC mouse. The kids love this one. Kiddopia, I think that’s how you say it. Kiddopia is another one it’s paid, it’s great.
(29:46): Even Noggin is fine. All of those are ones we allow our children to play. Everything else has been deleted off of the apps. They don’t know how to use the internet yet. Thank the Lord. Thank you, Lord. They don’t know how to use the internet yet. Whew. So that’s what’s happening with my children. That’s what I’m here to say.
(30:11): I’m here to just tell you what’s happening is not okay. We, as humanity, as daughters of the King, we have the powe, we are equipped to take our lives back. We have choices right now. I don’t know how long we’ll have choices, but right now we have choices. And how many of you want to control your thoughts, want to control the memories that you create, want to teach your kids about being more present and purposeful in their lives and want to be the example?
(30:52): You’re all leaders. You’re all so important to God’s mission here. Don’t let the enemy distract you. You can still have social media and have a very purposeful, balanced life. You can. I have done it if I can do this, so can you. You can still grow your profits and grow your audience without being on social media, 24/7 at a minimum.
(31:18): Each and every one of you can delete these apps, every single weekend. I’ve been doing it for over a year, probably a year and a half. And my business has exploded. You can start there. Some of you, if you are really serious about doing this with me, do what I’m doing. Delete everything off your phone. Re-install Instagram for an hour a day. Just start there.
(31:42): Start with that, an hour a day. You guys, that is plenty of time to write back to DMS, to comment back to people and to post some content. What that’s going to do is keep you from scrolling. It’s going to keep you from being dosed with the drug, the advertisers, the algorithms, to be tested and screened and monitored and analyzed so that they can get smarter about how to keep you on this app. Say no to that.
(32:11): And I’ll tell you something. I thought, Oh my gosh. If I delete Instagram and only have it for an hour, this is not going to work. I did it yesterday and the day before you guys, I am not as special as I think I am. I get back in and I’ve got like 15 messages. It takes me like 20 minutes to get back to everybody. I post my Instagram stories with my swipe up links of my latest episode, comment back to some people. And I deleted again done.
(32:38): I’m not that fancy. Why do I need to see these messages in real time? I don’t. And neither do you. So here’s your permission slip to be the change. Here is your not just permission slip, but your encouragement to do this work, to see the truth and to take action and to do the opposite of what the world is telling you is normal and okay and to challenge it, seek truth. Pray for discernment.
(33:11): I bet if you bring this to God and you’re really open those doors of communication between you and your Father, Father God, that he will whisper into your heart the truth. He shows me all the time and I’m like, Oh, I asked for this. Okay. But it’s always good. And it’s always right. And God’s way is always the best way.
(33:31): I love you. I’m praying over you. I just want to lift you up right now, sisters in a quick prayer. And I will let you go. I hope to go delete all your apps. I hope to do some inventory over your life. And I hope to start to breathe and be, and see more clearly and have more peace and begin this detoxing process with me. It will be worth it.
(33:55): Lord, I lift up every person listening to this episode. I pray that you just put into their hearts truth and direction. What do you want them to do? What do you want them to see? What do you want them to seek? How do you want them to live? Pour all of that truth into them in a deep, inspiring, incredibly clear way, and then give them actual direction, Lord, on how to implement this.
(34:19): Remind them that anxiety and fear is not yours. You didn’t give that to them. It’s of the world. You are offering peace and love and support and provision and favor and happiness and growth. And it’s going to be easier when they partner with you. Just remind them of that today, Lord.
(34:40): Give them that heart, give them that friendship and then give them the path so that they know they’re not alone because these changes are hard. The truth is hard, but we are not alone. We are here with you and you are our strength and your glorious name. We pray. Amen. See you guys later. Love and light, Stef.
The more I get to know my students and the more I participate in masterminds with my peers the more I’m starting to comprehend the overarching problem and prevalence of one, perfectionism, and two, overthinking.
Perfectionism keeps us in a place of constant consumption and learning. Redoing things over and over and thinking that we can’t move forward until they measure up to some elusive standard.
Why do I believe we need a morning routine? I believe you must have a morning routine because it helps you get into the mindset of productivity and purpose.
When we get right with God we: Renew Our Minds
Get Into the Word
Are Able to Live Our Life Guided by the Holy Spirit
The difference in how my day goes when I do my morning routine and when I don’t is night and day.