Hey Friend!

In today’s show I jam with Patricia Sung from Motherhood with ADHD podcast. She and I discuss how to know whether you are multi-passionate, or if you could actually have ADHD brain. We talk about all the common struggles women with ADHD face as entrepreneurs, moms, wives, and keepers of all. the. things.

Patricia specializes in teaching moms with ADHD how to run her family, life, and business well by learning more about the way your brain operates. Finding out a plan and system that works with your unique processing and neurological pathways.

Whether you think you are multi-passionate, or you think you MIGHT have ADHD, or you know someone else who does… this episode is a must. It helps you identify a plan that will help you get unstressed, organized, and finally finishing the things you set out to do.

Enjoy!

P.S. LAST CALL!!!!! Are you ready to take your podcast from meh to makin’ it big?! Ready to scale into a full time profit-house using podcasting? Wanna build my EXACT business model?! Podcast to Profit is kicking off shortly and there are only a few spots left. HURRY and get your application in, here!

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

(00:00):

Hey friends. Welcome back to today’s episode. I’m super excited about this conversation with Patricia Sung, who is actually one of my Podcast to Profit students and one of my private clients. And she is literally, amazing. Okay.

(00:17):

She runs Motherhood in ADHD and she helps overwhelmed moms with ADHD get it together one step at a time so that they can feel confident, capable, and able to run their home life and lead their family well. So today we’re really digging into, are you a multi-passionate or could you potentially have ADHD brain?

(00:43):

And Patricia goes into all of these unique perspectives and practicalities on how you can build a life that works for you when your brain is different. So if you’re looking for more than a theoretical textbook advice, and more than just what a Google search can bring you, this is the conversation for you.

(01:03):

Patricia is from Houston, Texas. She has two young boys and she has an extroverted non ADHD husband. So she really knows all of that advice. For those of you who are moms running those businesses from home, with the littles, with the family and potentially dealing with ADHD. So let’s do this.

(01:25):

All right, before we dig into this juicy conversation, just a quick reminder there is a week and a half left before we kick off Podcast to Profit, the 90 day group coaching mastermind program for podcasters. Listen up, Lola, building a passive income engine is literally easier than you think, we were about to transform your business.

(01:47):

We’re going from, I’m a side hustler with my show to I am a full time podcaster, and this is actually my business model. So if you are ready to use SEO, visibility, Pinterest, you’re ready to partner tactical training accountability, and have a group of other faith led go-get entrepreneur mamas on a mission to walk this out with you Podcast to Profit is for you.

(02:13):

So you guys, listen to this. Ellie Conklin who took Podcast to Profit with me in, I think, two rounds back. She has to say, well, I was going through P2P, my podcast downloads multiplied by eight. It ranked number one in its category, amongst all podcasts in Belize. It also ranked 38 in Japan.

(02:35):

Ronica Cormier says I gained countless followers on Instagram, approximately 1500 downloads on my podcast. I 2X my weekly traction on my website. I peaked at number 62 in my category in the US, I was featured on three podcasts, two events, and six times to my traction on Pinterest, all through Podcasts to Profit.

(02:58):

Brooke Jefferson – I didn’t have an existing coaching client base and now I am fully booked with one-on-one clients in my business. I had an 11 K launch with the signature program Stef and I created, and I was able to grow my Facebook group from 50 to 3000 members all within three short months of being in Podcast to Profit.

(03:16):

So if that doesn’t tell you some results, let me tell you what you’re going to learn, what you’re going to walk away with. After you are finished with this program, you’re going to have a fully optimized podcast with SEO, juicy keywords. You’re going to understand psychology of titling. You’re going to have a full scrub of your podcast platform from me.

(03:38):

I’m going to go through that with you and make sure that it looks amazing and it’s really resonating the message that you want it to. So we’re going to optimize all of those frameworks for you. You’re going to learn back office optimization, organization. You’re going to learn how to do podcasts pitching so that you can get on other shows, which is visibility, marketing, Pinterest.

(03:58):

You’re going to learn how to create your program or your course or your coaching offer. We’re going to outline that out together. I’m going to gift you my sales page template. So you’re going to know how to actually sell it. You have to work with me to learn how to pitch effectively, and I’m going to actually give you advice and help you with that pitch. I have a pitch template for you along with your sales page template.

(04:20):

Finally, you’re going to have so much accountability. You cannot not do this program and actually do the work because I’m there with you. My team is there with you during office hours, you guys are doing breakouts with your pod. You don’t even know what that means, but you’re going to love it. I promise. And you are going to be getting power coaching from me every other week.

(04:40):

So if you have a podcast and you are ready to go all in and make your podcast, your entire business model and have my exact business model, using a podcast and monetizing with courses and coaching or coaching you don’t have to, Podcast to Profit is for you. Go to stefaniegass.com/podcasttoprofit

(05:01):

We have a couple of spots left. There are only 20 these spots when it’s full it’s full, I will meet you inside.

(06:16):

Hello, Patricia Sung! Welcome to the podcast!

(06:21):

Hey, how are you doing? Thanks for having me.

(06:23):

I’m so good. I’m so excited to have this conversation because for a while, I’ve been thinking about all the women in my community, Patricia, who are like I’m so multi-passionate and through P2P and working with you, one-on-one, I’ve discovered often that’s become like this label and maybe there’s something else going on for them. So because of your brand, I decided to bring you on so that we could truly help them dig into the mystery of could I potentially have ADHD?

(06:55):

Yes. Every time I hear someone say they’re a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I’m over in the background being like you probably have ADHD. That’s our signature thing of we are lovers and we love so many things that it’s hard to pick just one, because when we get excited about something, we are all in and we can be all in on four different things.

(07:23):

That’s okay. But it does beg the question of, can we do four things well? But our brains do tend to like dig deep into what we’re passionate about. We hyper-focus on things and jump right in and we, within 30 days can, can become an expert on something that we literally knew nothing about a few months ago.

(07:46):

Now I’m like, do I have ADHD? So let’s start with that question, Patricia. Like, what is ADHD?

(07:56):

So ADHD it stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which I am not a fan of the name because it highlights the crappy parts of it. Instead of all the wonderful things that come with ADHD, which can be a sore subject for some people. Because when you have so much struggle to see people saying, there’s good parts too, it’s kind of like, I don’t want to see the silver lining of this like I’m, I’m struggling.

(08:28):

So when you boil it down, it’s a neurological medical condition and it is something that most people are born with. It’s not something that you chose. It’s not a product of your parents, terrible parenting skills. There was nothing that you did to cause this in your life. This is how you were born.

(08:49):

And that’s how God created you to be, you are not broken and you’re not alone. There are literally millions us out there who have ADHD. The statistics are 3-5% of people have been diagnosed. But we’re finding now that especially as diagnoses are more common with children, that parents are not going, Ooh, this symptom list sounds awfully familiar because when you have ADHD, there’s actually a, I think it’s between 50 and 70% that one of your kids will have it.

(09:23):

So if your child has it, it probably came from somewhere. If you look at your spouse and it’s not them, then there’s a good chance it was you. A lot more parents are getting diagnosed now because there is more awareness than there was, I mean, even a couple of years ago. So, you know, when I was a kid or when our parents were kids, although it was first documented back in like something like 1907 or something it’s been around a long time, but it wasn’t understood.

(09:55):

It’s still not really well understood. But what does that look like in real life? Most of us think when we think of ADHD, we think of that five-year-old kid, who’s just bouncing off the walls. Can’t sit still, driving everybody crazy. And that child gets the diagnosis because they have like this flashing neon light above their head saying this kid’s different.

(10:22):

And they get the, you know, specialist attention that they need. But when you’re a girl, it looks a lot different when you had the inattentive type versus the more hyperactive side, it looks different. And so most of us have spent our whole lives kind of flying under the radar and falling apart on the inside and trying our best to hold it together on the outside. And we think it’s internally, it’s us. We’re the ones who are broken.

(10:50):

We’re the ones who can’t get it together. We’re the ones who are a hot mess. We internalize that as something is wrong with us. We can’t keep up with what everyone else expects of us. We’re walking dichotomy of in some ways we’re total rock stars.

(11:06):

And then in other ways we’re total failures. And so we keep thinking, well, if I can be a rock star over here, then there must be something wrong with me. I’m a failure over here, but you’re not a failure. It’s just that you don’t understand how your brain works and you’re not, you’re trying to work against it instead of with it.

(11:23):

Oh, that’s so good. So a neurological disorder, that’s what you said, right? And this is something you’re commonly born with. So the other piece maybe that it makes me think is because you’re born with this. It’s not something that all the sudden is an aha moment because you’ve lived with this your whole life. So like you just said, maybe they’re constantly in this state of why just can’t do that because I’m not good at that.

(11:51):

Or why can’t I be like blank or why can’t I seem to focus on this one thing. So talk to me about when you set out to start a business or you set out to find a way to be productive, or you feel like you’re setting out to do these things, Patricia, what was happening?

(12:09):

What were those common like symptoms, I guess, or the common things that all ADHD mamas who are running businesses are probably also experiencing. That might be like a, oh my gosh, you could potentially have ADHD, right? Like a symptom of the fact that maybe they really do have ADHD instead of just being multi-passionate.

(12:31):

So first, I want to touch one of the things you said, because one of the hard parts about anything that has to do with mental health or your brain, or even just health in general, when it’s on the inside and you can’t see it on the outside, is that because we can’t see how anyone else’s brain functions, we don’t realize that our brain is doing something very different than other people’s brains are doing.

(12:51):

So my guess is that probably there’s somewhere close to 10% of people actually have ADHD. Even though the diagnosis is like actual, like known quantities are so much smaller, I think it’s actually closer to the 10% mark. So if you think about, if you’re looking at, you know, a group of your friends, nine of them are doing something one way and you’re the only one who’s over here like well, I’m the only one who forgot to pick up my kid at soccer this week.

(13:21):

So what’s wrong with me. There is that part of you don’t know that your brain is different because you can’t see inside of everyone else’s brain. So when you start to hear, like, I’ll give some examples and if you’re sitting here going, oh my goodness, Patricia is reading my inside. Like, don’t worry, there’s help out there. It’s not all is lost.

(13:40):

So the key part about ADHD for an adult is, and for kids too, but you know I won’t get down on that rabbit hole is that it affects our executive functioning. And the executive functioning is basically the conductor of your brain, who is telling everybody what to do. So like telling the flutes need to be louder or violin, it’s not your turn and getting everything coordinated together.

(14:07):

So you might have a really awesome drum section, but they’re not in time with your woodwinds. And that’s where things are frustrating because you’re looking at like, well, I can be like, I can get projects done at work, but yet I can’t get stuff done at home because your brain is not good at juggling all the things at one time. So your executive functioning covers everything, literally every part of your life from being able to prioritize where you have a whole to-do list where you aren’t sure what’s really the important thing.

(14:40):

Like you can get sucked into the things that are more fun or more easy or more interesting to you, but you’re not getting the projects that are really gonna move the needle ahead in your business. Those ones kind of fall to the side because you’re not good at prioritizing automatically.

(14:55):

You will see it in organizing where maybe your purse still has receipts from 2020 floating around in there, but, and your desk is overflowing with papers, but you know exactly where if someone’s like, Hey, can you give me that form? You’re like, oh yeah, I know where that paper is. And you can pull it under the third pile on the left, halfway down. So organizing is not one of our strong suits.

(15:22):

You’ll see it in restlessness or like most people think of it as the person who’s constantly fidgeting or jiggling their leg, but it’s also a restlessness in wanting something new. So people who will rearrange the furniture in their living room every two months, or you’re on your third network marketing company in three years, because you’re ready for something new, you want a new challenge.

(15:51):

You’ll see a restlessness in that way. I mean, I can keep going.

(15:55):

Yeah, this is so good. Just to recap this is affecting your executive functioning. I think what that really made me think of is when you look at your business and your life and all the different pieces that we’re in charge of as women, especially women entrepreneurs, you have all these different buckets that you’re juggling. So how are you doing at keeping everything going? Is that like a massive struggle for you?

(16:22):

Because it sounds like that’s one of the key leading indicators that maybe you have ADHD because that executive functioning is really having that struggle. The restlessness, the fidgeting, the wanting something new. I have a couple of good friends who have ADHD. And I distinctly see that where it’s like, oh, I’m doing this new thing.

(16:38):

Or there’ll be like, Stef, I had this great idea. And we’ll like, do this whole idea together, Patricia. And then I’m like, what happened? Are you ready? Oh yeah, well, I already started this other one over here. I’m like, wait, but we didn’t execute the plan that we just had.

(16:52):

We are the queens of getting things started and amazing ideas, we are the innovators, the inventors, the paradigm shifters, but that lasts like 10 or 20% of finishing a project is killer. Like now some of us have learned the skill to be finishers, but it is still like pulling teeth. Like it is an act of God to get across that finish line because your heart is already drawn to that new project. And you’re excited about that. And you want to go fishing new territory.

(17:29):

So what do they do if they’re sitting here listening? They’re like, oh man, I’m checking the boxes of all these things that Patricia is mentioning right now. And I think I might have ADHD. What do you do? Like do you, I know there’s medication. I know there’s natural. I know that there’s also just intentional, cool things that you teach that people can implement. So talk to me about what do you do when you find out, cause you went through this yourself, what was that like? And what do they do?

(17:54):

So, I mean, the diagnosis process is a lengthy one. And if you want to do medication, you do need to go down that path. Some people don’t want to do medication. And so they don’t need that official piece of paper that says welcome to the club, you officially have ADHD, it’s really up to you and your situation and where you feel like that fits in your life.

(18:16):

I am a big fan of if medication fits in your life to try it because it it’s worth the trial and error of it. Hey, like if you have a tool available to you, try it out, it doesn’t work for you. That’s okay. But why say no to like the free option, because then it can give be expensive. But when you look at like, okay, this feels familiar.

(18:44):

What am I going to do about this? The first thing I always tell people is to learn about your brain. Everyone’s ADHD is different. It’s kind of like a marinara sauce. If you asked 10 Italian grandmas, their recipe, they’re all going to give you a different list of ingredients, different ratios, but you still are always going to have like that tomato sauce, a certain group of herbs, probably some kind of meat.

(19:08):

It doesn’t have to have meat. There’s so many variations. So learning not only about what ADHD is and how it affects the brain as a whole, but then how does it specifically affect you? Because some people are going to have stronger working memories and then other people will really struggle with that.

(19:25):

Some people have a lot of struggles with say, like their energy regulation, where they’re super gung ho and accomplish all the tasks on Tuesday and then come Wednesday they’re dead. And they just don’t have any energy left. Other people really struggle with emotional regulation, which is like I’m holding it together all day long.

(19:44):

And then by the end of the day, I don’t have any patience left. And Medusa mom shows up at bedtime yelling and screaming at everybody because your emotional regulation is struggling. So there’s so many pieces of this puzzle, which can feel really overwhelming.

(19:59):

So that’s where I would say, first thing is just start learning. I have on my website, I have a free resource guide of my favorite things that I trust. You can download that and start reading if you’re hit hyper-focus mode. And you’re like, now I’m going to read everything there is about it. I’ve got books and podcasts and all kinds of resources there.

(20:18):

Once you figure out how it is affecting you, that’s when you can go down to the next two steps, which is one that you have to take care of yourself. You have to put your oxygen mask on first and figure out how do you take care of you? You are an integral part of your family and taking care of yourself as part of your family.

(20:39):

So you have to be on the priority list. And that includes seeing a doctor or taking your medicine or, self care time where you’re taking breaks and whatever it is that’s going to make sense for you in restoring yourself.

(20:56):

Because when you have ADHD also sleep issues tend to be very common. So if you’re not sleeping well, everything else is a hot mess. How can you take care of yourself? And then the third part is asking for help and figuring out what’s the support that you need for you? Looking at, especially when you’re running a business. Maybe you need to hire out sooner than other people would. And maybe being the one woman show, isn’t the right answer for you.

(21:27):

Maybe you need a VA or having childcare so that you can have someone take care of your kids while you’re working. Because like, for me, I can’t be productive when I’m watching my kids. I understand that some people can do that. I am not one of those people. So where does it make sense for you to find support and that doesn’t have to be spending money that could be, you know, can your spouse pick up certain jobs?

(21:52):

Are your kids old enough to be doing more chores around the house where they can do laundry or cut vegetables to help you prep for dinner? Where can you get help and support yourself? Because as much as it can be a gift, it also is really hard. It is a disorder in the sense that society expects us to be able, especially as women or as moms and as entrepreneurs, to be able to do all the things and nowhere else in life is anyone else expected to be well-rounded except maybe like in grade school, right?

(22:28):

Moms and women as a whole are expected to be well-rounded and be able to cook and clean and run your family well, and know how to meal prep and show for your kids and, you know, run your books and that’s not realistic for anyone let alone somebody who has ADHD.

(22:48):

So you’ve got to get some help and support to capitalize on your strengths. And then I call it bumper padding your weaknesses, like, you know, when you’re playing bowling and you’re not good, you put up your little bumper pads. What can you do to keep yourself on track?

(23:02):

That’s all so good. So step one was understanding your brain and learning. And I also liked in that you specifically said that you’re learning your own brain. You’re learning your own stuff. So one mom is dealing with this emotional portion. Well, maybe you’re dealing with, I can’t work and have the kids at the same time that that’s a constant trigger.

(23:21):

And just note like you don’t have to have the same answer as someone else. You don’t have to have the same pain point as anyone else. Your brain is specifically different to you. And then Patricia has a website. What’s your website for them to find all those resources?

(23:34):

It’s my name, patriciasung.com.

(23:37):

And number two was, take care of you, such good stuff in there. And then number three was asking for help. So, one thing I’ve learned from you as we’ve worked together over the past three, four months in P2P and through the private coaching is that one of the biggest things, the ADHD moms, especially those who are entrepreneur mamas are doing is thinking that they’re just missing the boat when it comes to productivity, like I just can’t get it all together.

(24:02):

So I’m going to buy a new planner. I’m going to buy another new planner. Nope. I’m going to do this course over here. Ah, you know, it’s like, they think that they’re just not good at productively managing their life in business. What’s really going on there?

(24:18):

To me it’s all about not understanding your brain and how it works because when you see everyone else around you seems like they have it together and you don’t. You’re like, okay, well, if I just do what so-and-so does, then I can get it. Like, if I’ll go on Pinterest and find this chore chart, and then I’ll be able to get my kid to do what they need to do. And we’re constantly looking for systems to fix our problems.

(24:45):

We’re buying another planner thinking it’s going to get us together because that’s what the world is telling us is that, oh, well, you’re not together because you don’t have a planner. No, that’s not the point. The point is that you don’t know how your brain works, so you can buy 15 planners and none of them are going to teach you that.

(25:02):

That’s why I created the daily planning for ADHD mom. Cause we talk about what’s the system that makes sense for you. How do you work with your brain? You know your ADHD is going to take you off track. So how do we overcome that? Let’s have a plan ahead of time for all the things that we know are going to get us caught up. And then once we have the system that makes sense for you.

(25:26):

Like, if you want to use paper, cool, let’s figure that out. If you want to do a digital calendar, all right, let’s figure that out. But then when you have all that sorted out, it’s like, well, I can find probably seven different planners that would work because I know how to actually use the tool. It’s kind of like, if you wanted to build a bird house and you bought a fancy CNC router to build it, you’re like you don’t need a multi thousand dollar machine to build the bird house.

(25:54):

You just need to know like how to use this dremmel. You would be just as better off way, better off actually with this simple tool that you know how to use than the super fancy tool that you don’t understand. So figure out what works for you. And then you can go from there.

(26:11):

And so they keep trying everything thinking. So they’re hearing you right, Trish. And they’re like, okay, I’m trying to figure out the system that works for me. That’s why they have 27 planners and it’s not working. Why is it not working? Why does it not matter whether they have the fancy paper planner, the Google planner they’ve taken. And they’re like I’m trying to get this to work. And I know one of the big reasons is that they’re not learning from another ADHD mom or another woman that’s gone through it and walk through it.

(26:39):

They’re learning from a regular normal brain human over that’s like you just time block. It’s fine.

(26:46):

And I totally I love time-blocking or we have to do it in a way that makes sense to our brain. You can’t show a square peg in a round hole and hoping you can’t just like, if you beat it in, it’s not, it’s still not going to get in there. And also you damaged it a whole lot. I’ve known about my ADHD for 20 years. So I’ve had time to accept who I am and don’t me wrong. I still get super frustrated with myself quite often. But when you know who you are and how your brain works and you can begin to accept just who you are and that it’s not that you’re broken.

(27:29):

It’s not that you can’t do it. Because one of the things that we hear all the time is like, well, you’re just you to try a little bit harder. Just write it on your plate. Like all these just advices are driving me bonkers. Because if trying harder worked, then we would have already solved the problem. You have to know how your brain works and build your system around that.

(27:56):

So when you set out to create the solution for her, you made the daily planning course for ADHD moms, give us one like major, crazy aha moment for you. When it came to this daily planning, what was the difference maker in your life?

(28:17):

Zeroing in on my motivation of why I’m doing it. Because frequently when you have ADHD, you start out, you’re like really gung ho and you start down with the system, you get the new planner and you’re really excited. And then you stick with it for like two weeks. And then the planner starts to collect dust because you don’t know why you’re doing it. So for me, it was zeroing on why am I making time to plan my week?

(28:41):

Why am I making time to organize my to-do list? Why am I figuring out how to write this stuff on the calendar? Because on surface level, that’s not interesting. I don’t want to do it. It’s a lot of work. Everything about it sounds terrible. Why would I do this? What matters to me is when I am calm and have a clear purpose for my day, and I know what I’m going to do, and I know what matters.

(29:08):

I’ve had time to prioritize and say, these are the things that are actually important. Then I am a happier mom and my family reaps the benefit of that. Because when I’m running around like a headless chicken, I don’t notice the people around me. I don’t spend quality time with my kids. Instead I’m just like, I got to get this done. I got to do this. We go, oh, wait, I forgot to plan dinner.

(29:35):

We got to be drive through again, throwing things here. I’m not spending quality time with my kids, I’m not enjoying my family. I’m not enjoying my life and why am I living if I feel awful all day? And then, especially at the end of the day, when I look back and see what happened today, that’s not living. So when I boil down why am I doing all this work? It’s because I want to enjoy my life.

(30:02):

I want my kids to see a happy mom. Who’s not stressed all the time. Who’s not so caught up in her own mind that she’s missing the beauty around her. When I like to use the analogy of our life is a, like a piece of art. And if you paint this beautiful picture and then you just shove it on the counter with all the other crap hanging out there no one sees it. But when you put it in a frame, you can display it.

(30:36):

And that frame is holding it up and it’s hanging on the wall and everyone can enjoy the beauty that it is. But the frame itself nobody’s like, is that Mahogany spraying? No, that’s not the purpose. The frame is there to provide structure. The frame is there to allow everyone to look at it. It’s a lot, like it gives it the ability to hang on the wall where everyone can see it.

(30:58):

It protects it so that it’s not getting crumpled up on the counter. So if you have this framework around your day where you’re getting done, like all the things, especially if you’re a mom, all the millions of jobs that we have to do as a mom, the laundry, the meal planning, all that stuff has to get done.

(31:15):

Whether we want to, or not, whether we enjoy it or not. So if you create this framework where there’s structure to your day, then all those things are accomplished. Kind of like, and automation, like they just happen because I know every day I wake up and look at the laundry basket check, do we need to do a load of laundry? Yep.

(31:38):

This baskets full. Let me go throw it in. But if I don’t write that on my planner check laundry, it doesn’t happen. But most people like most neuro-typical brains are going to be like, I don’t understand why you would write down, like eat lunch, do laundry.

(31:55):

Everyone else is like, that’s crazy town. Like I literally have a reminder on my phone to stop and eat lunch on the days that I’m working. Because I won’t, I’ll just keep on trucking. Cause I’m so excited about what I’m doing. I have to purposefully say, this is the time where we’re stopping. Do I want to stop? No, because I’m in the group and I’m getting things done. But if I don’t, then I’m not taking care of myself.

(32:17):

I’m not taking that break and eating with my kids and talking to them and like seeing their eyeballs. Cause I worked from home, like looking at their eyeballs and being like, Hey, what’d you do this morning? Oh, tell me about that cool froggy cry. So that framework, that structure is what allows you to enjoy and see the beauty in your life.

(32:38):

That is a beautiful analogy. I love that so much. And I think it really helps all of you listening to think about your life, right? Do you want your life just on the counter shoved in between all the other papers and receipts and junk mail or do you want to be in a frame where you’re setting up, you’re sitting up or you’re on the wall and you’re going, wow. You know, there’s mom. Like I see her and she sees me. There’s my wife. I see her.

(33:05):

She sees me and even ourselves, like sometimes we’re so in our heads, I don’t even see myself in a day. You know? Like it’s just so much, and I totally understand this. You get lost in the excitement and the exciting things, but you can’t let everything else fall away because that’s where the overwhelm comes from.

(33:25):

That’s the scattered coming from and the disarray, and then you’re drowning in it. So I still understand this. And so you take your women, your ADHD mamas through a process. Patricia talk to us about your podcast and your courses that you’re creating that are going to help her create that frame.

(33:48):

So the podcast obviously is free. I love educating. I’m actually a former teacher, I taught middle school for many years. Like I love teaching. I love sharing. I love giving good information because if you Google ADHD, like you can find some really ridiculous nonsense on the internet. Like if you want to find an article that tells you that fruit roll-ups cause ADHD, you can find it.

(34:09):

I mean, there’s some crazy stuff on the internet, so you can’t believe everything you read. So start with the podcast, head to my website, get the free resources there and start learning about your brain. Figure out, you know, is this something you want to pursue?

(34:24):

Does this feel like you, and you can start looking into, you know, the diagnosis process. If you do feel like this, you know, is the answer to why you’re constantly beating yourself up over not being able to do things that everyone else is telling you should be easy. And then the first step is to figure out your calendar and to-do list because those are the foundations of your day. I mean, literally what you do every day is the way that you live your life.

(34:53):

And so if you have structured your day in a way that is clear and make sense, then that’s kind of like the base layer of, okay, I’m showing up where I need to be. I know what I’m supposed to do when I’m there. Like these foundational items, that’s layer one. And then the second part is figuring out your rhythms and routines.

(35:17):

And that class is time management mastery. So figuring out that framework of your day of how am I going to keep up with laundry? How am I going to keep up with new planning? How am I going to keep up with going to the gym? Like there’s so many things we have to take care of. And my system is based in like the idea of time blocking, but when I’ve learned time blocking from people who are neuro-typical, I’m like I don’t understand, it didn’t make sense to me.

(35:46):

And it took me learning from multiple people and really digging in on like, how does this make sense for my brain to come up with the right system? And now that I figured out, I’m like, I gotta tell everybody this is, I mean, it’s a life changing when you figure out how to run your life in a way that makes sense for you and your family.

(36:07):

And the beauty of it is I’ve used this system in my life for several years now. So I’ve gone from being able to do it with newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary school. I have moms in the class that work from home, that work out of the home, that are stay at home moms, that were on maternity leave, one that was as a full-time student. I mean, literally all the different, like possibilities of being a woman, taking care of her family and everyone it made sense for everyone.

(36:40):

There was no one who was like this isn’t gonna work for me. It didn’t happen. So to know that there is a system that makes sense for our brains is just like, oh, like the angels are singing and it’s amazing. So that’s the progression of first, you need your foundations in order of your like basic commitments and excuse me, and like figuring out your to-do list, because we also are infamous for having the world’s longest to-do list.

(37:09):

And it’s ever possible to get all these things done in one day. But somehow our brain is like, I can totally do 73 things today. It’s going to happen. And then we get to the end of the day, we did four or ten and we’re beating ourselves up because we didn’t do the 73. But like the fact that you got 10 things done, like that’s amazing, but we’re beating ourselves up for what we didn’t do instead of what we got done.

(37:30):

So being able to sift through the ridiculous mountain of like to do this and figure out what is actually important, because that’s a skill that we don’t naturally have prioritizing doesn’t come easily for us. And so we have to sit down and say, and like, look at each activity and figure out whether or not this is something that has to happen. Can it happen today?

(37:52):

Can it happen next week? Our brain doesn’t do that for us. We have to have a system. So once you got your foundations, then we go into, okay. Now how do we design the life that we want to live and enjoy and love. And that’s when you really see the changes coming through and you can tackle any goal that you want to tackle when you’re getting done all those little things that are dragging on you.

(38:18):

And feel like a burden because you’re kicking yourself as to why you can’t keep your house together. And, you know, having a bang out business, doesn’t really fulfill you. If you turn around and look at your living room and are beating yourself up inside.

(38:35):

Exactly. Oh, so good. So you guys check out her podcast, it’s Motherhood in ADHD and then patriciasung.com. Thank you for blessing us today. It’s so fun to learn all the things, and it’s always so fun to talk to you.

(38:47):

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate your willingness to share about this because there’s so many people who have no idea what it truly means and how it affects people’s lives. And I bet that even if you don’t have ADHD and you’re listening to this, like you have a friend who you’re like, oh, that’s so-and-so.

(39:08):

And you know, perhaps you could have that open dialogue of sharing with them. So that one, they have a resource, but two that they know that they’re not alone and they don’t have to pretend to be something that they’re not in front of you, that you understand who they are. Like, that’s the greatest gift you can give to a friend is just loving them as they are.

(39:28):

That’s such good advice. Thank you, Patricia!

(39:31):

Thanks so much, Stef!