You show up massively in your motherhood. You show up big-time in your business. You clean. You cook. You’re a daughter, sister, friend, wife…. aka. You’re pulled in SO. MANY. DIRECTIONS. On the daily.
In the back of your mind you have these nagging thoughts:
“Am I doing enough in my business?
I need more time to make this work.
I should be doing ___, I should be working.
If I worked harder I would have ______.”
Any of those resonating?
Enter <<<<<< BUSINESS GUILT >>>>>>>>
It’s totally a thing.
Today we are going to identify IF you are suffering from business guilt, how to manage it, and ultimate deal with it! This 5-step framework will guide you in inventorying IF your guilt is founded (spoiler: sometimes it is) OR, if you are self-sabotaging the most important areas of your life with shoulda, woulda, couldas… (also totally possible).
Self-awareness and guidance from the Lord will always open a path to freedom. Both mental, physical, and spiritual. And in all areas.
Let’s dive into this topic and do some work, sis.
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
(00:01) Hey, Lola, what’s up, Girl? Today we’re going to talk about something that is a new concept for me, but I’m like, Oh my gosh, how have we never identified that this is an issue. It is how to identify and manage business guilt. What? Say what? Yes. How many of you feel guilty when you’re not fully focused on your business?
(00:24) How many of you feel bad when you pick up a good fiction novel or some type of fun, a book that isn’t self-development or personal development or a bibliography? Oh, look, business guilt is real. It’s legit. And sometimes it’s founded and sometimes it’s not. So let’s dig into how to identify and manage this very serious thing that might be keeping you from really feeling and realizing the potential in your life and the purpose in your life. Because you’re constantly fixated on doing more in your business.
(01:12) Okay. Let’s first talk about what is business guilt. It’s feeling guilty when you’re not working. When you’re reading something for fun versus a business book, when you’re resting, when you’re relaxing, when you’re living with purpose and intentionality, when you’re playing with your kids building Legos.
(03:21) Or you’re at your son’s football game, just watching, not watching and working. When you’re doing something, one thing at a time, instead of multitasking, that you’re feeling bad about that you’re feeling unrest, you’re feeling guilt, shame, all of those emotions. And I think there’s, there’s two things to really decipher here is, which we’re going to go through the five steps, but sometimes business guilt is legit.
(03:50) You know, you been slackin on your pimpin, you haven’t been focusing on your business. You’ve been doing all the other things to distract yourself from making, growing, and scaling in your purpose. And so sometimes you feel guilty about that when you’re doing those other things. And sometimes that is founded. It’s your body trying to alert you that, Hey, get on track.
(04:13) But then sometimes it’s unfounded. Like in my case, I am a natural just, worker. I love work. I’ve always loved work, which is why I’m a recovering workaholic. And once you’re a anything -coholic, it’s easy to fall back into that trap. And I have to be extraordinarily in tune with my business guilt because a lot of times it’s not legit. It’s me just feeling bad for not working because it’s one of the things that I’m really good at. And I feel comfortable in that space.
(04:46) I feel comfortable when I’m working. And so I have to be careful that I don’t go there to escape the things that are hard or that are not as easy for me and my personality type. So that’s something that we’re going to go through. Let’s go ahead and dig into this. Number one, you’re going to inventory your emotion when you’re not working. So this is how we identify. If you’re suffering from business guilt.
(05:09) You’ve got to inventory that emotion. How do you feel when once a week you watch a reality TV show, or how do you feel when you sit down on the floor to color with your kids and you don’t have your phone near you? How do you feel when you sit down to dinner and you just put your phone in another room and hide it from yourself? How do you feel when you don’t take clients on the weekends?
(05:37) How do you feel when hopefully wink, wink, you delete the social media apps every single weekend. Do you feel good? Do you feel secure? Do you feel confident in those decisions and those actions, or are you feeling bad? Is there something nagging in the back of your mind telling you, you should be working, you should be working. You should be doing more, more, more, more, you gotta pay attention to that.
(06:01) So tomorrow, and maybe over the next few days, I challenge you to really pay attention to how you’re feeling when you’re not working. Maybe some of you feel great. Awesome, cool. Just pocket this episode for later. Cause there probably will be a time when you’ll experience this, but those of you that are feeling these emotions that I, that I mentioned earlier, this episode is for you. And I want you to keep listening.
(06:26) I want you to keep listening no matter what, but you know what I’m saying? Okay. Number two, once you’ve inventoried your emotion, why? Why are you feeling those emotions? Is it valid or not valid? So this is similar to my mom guilt episode that I did way back when, when I talked about sometimes your guilt is valid because there is something that you need to change.
(06:52) Those of you that feel business guilt, because you’re literally not working your business. Like you’re just hiding from it because maybe work and business is not natural for you. And you’re opposite of me. And you’re like, I just love playing outside with the dogs. I don’t know. And I don’t love work. So you feel guilty about that. That’s, that’s something to pay attention to.
(07:19) It’s something for you to time block in so that you’re intentionally doing the work you need to do, which I’m going to talk about in a moment. But the other one is that it’s not valid. And I’m going to go on a limb and say that 80% of you that are feeling the business guilt, it’s probably actually not valid. The world has told you, you have to work all the time to be successful.
(07:44) False. Uh, you don’t have to be on your phone 24/7. You don’t have to be on social media seven days a week. I’ve proven that to you guys. I’ve proven it. I’ve had the biggest, most successful year in my business, actually in my entire life. I’ve gotten off of social every single weekend, except for two or three, when I was launching this entire year.
(08:05) In the past few months, I’ve gotten off social even multiple times a day, to the extent of deleting the apps Monday through like seven days a week and just being on for an hour to do what I have to do. So to say that you have to be working all the time in order to be successful that’s of the world. That’s not for you, boo. So once you’ve identified, if it’s valid or not, we’re going to go to number three. You’re going to start blocking a weekly and daily so that you know where your non-work time is.
(08:36) And then you’re going to fill it with whatever you want. I’m not saying we don’t work hard. I’m saying you work hard when it’s time to work hard. When you intentionally plug it into the planner and you get to work without distraction. It goes both ways. You can’t be, you can’t be growing a business while you’re doing 27 things at once. You need to stop the madness, get it together, get rid of all the excuses and get to work when it’s time to work.
(09:08) In the other areas of your time-blocking, the time with your kids, the time with your family for dinner, the weekends, whatever your open slots are, give yourself the grace to fill those with whatever you want on the weekends, I have open time blocks completely. Sometimes I do work because I feel like it. I’ll record an episode or I can reply to email it just it’s, but it’s if I want to, I’m going on a, on a mountain bike ride with my husband, I’m hanging out with the kids.
(09:39) Maybe we spend the night at my mom’s to play with her puppies. You know what I’m I’m not, I just seriously need new puppies. You guys, I think that’s what we’re identifying here, but you can fill it with whatever you want. Guilt-free because when you are really focused in the times that you have laid out for your business, you don’t have to feel bad about the other openings in your day that you have allotted for something else that fills you up.
(10:05) This life is not about business success and growth and making more money and getting the promotion or getting the rank advancement or getting the six figure book of clients. It’s just not about that. It’s about living with purpose and fullness in each area, living with health and energy, living with intimacy and purpose and connection with your spouse.
(10:29) Living with really purposeful, patient motherhood, spiritually fueled. Showing up for, for God and whatever that means for you. Like it’s all of those areas. And if you’re dealing with business guilt all the time, you’re not freeing yourself to really grow into the kingdom, incredible world changer that God is asking you to. You’re letting that guilt constrain you from really showing up in these other areas of your life.. Which brings me to number four.
(11:01) Once you’ve began to time block and intentionally do this work, you’ve got to then change your perspective. In those time slots that you just want to be. The world has told you so far that that’s not cool. Like you can’t just be, you can’t just go to a restaurant without your phone, right? You can’t go alone to a movie like, no, you can’t just be. You can’t just feel. You can’t do that.
(11:24) You just, you have to work. You have to multitask. You have to always be on. You can’t miss a message. You have to reply real time, false, false sisters. So number four here, I want you to focus on joy. Write these down joy over progress. I want you to ask yourself at the end of the week, every week on Sunday night, did I have more joy in my life, more happiness this week? Or did I have more progress this week?
(11:57) Because progress is important, but it doesn’t trump joy. Joy is first. Joy equals real purposeful meaning for you. The next one is fulfillment over financials. Did I have more fulfillment this week? More, just more meaning, more meaning over money. Money’s great. I like money. I’m a fan. Okay. I get it. We’re paying off debt like crazy. We’re tithing. We’re doing great things with our money.
(12:32) Money is wonderful. I get it. But money is less than meaning. Meaning to me is the first thing, period. End of story. Purposeful living that is full of meaning and finally, memories over more. Did I make meaningful memories this week? Did I make a memory with my spouse, a memory with my kids? Did I make a memory for myself? Am I proud of myself this week?
(13:01) Did I give, did I serve and I love did I create meaningful memories? Not did I do more in the time blocks that were allotted for my kids. That’s never going to matter. That’s not going to matter to you at the end of this very short blink of an eye life on earth. What’s gonna matter to you is joy, fulfillment, meaning and memories. Guilt-free. Guilt-free. So finally, number five. I want you to just write yourself a permission slip to show up 100% of the time intentionally, but free yourself to choose what you fill the free time blocks with.
(13:48) Okay? So what that means is when you’re showing up in your business, please show up there with 120%. I work really, really hard right now. My kids at preschool I’m alone. Guess what I’ve done in three hours? Guess what? I’ve done? I’ve cleaned out my inbox. I’ve recorded two podcast episodes. I’ve finished editing up and sending to my VA two podcast episodes.
(14:15) I’ve uploaded them into podbean. I’ve done a one-hour coaching client meeting and I still have 10 more minutes to go. So who knows what else I’m going to put in here? I didn’t waste my time. I didn’t waste my time. Time is money also time over money, right? So me doing really purposeful things in my business in this three hour time block is critical. It’s critical because when I’m done with this time block, guess what I’m going to do?
(14:46) I’m not going to work. I’m picking up my little from preschool. We’re going to go home. We’ll probably cook something fun together. Maybe make them an afterschool snack. I want to stare in his eyes and hear about his day without my phone. In my hand, it’s not about the multitask. It’s about the memory. It’s about him knowing he matters.
(15:07) I saw this meme the other day that said, showing your children, you love them is 2% effort. 98% putting your phone down. Yes. Can I get an amen louder for those in the back row? Yes. 2% effort. 98% put your phone down. The reasons we have guilt is because we’re not fully focused in each area when we’re supposed to be showing up in that area. So you got, here’s your permission slip to show up fully in all the other areas of your life, outside of business, because I’m challenging you to be intentional with the business time that you have.
(15:54) You feel me? Now. I hope this helped you guys. I really want you to do this homework inventory your emotion. Number two, why am I feeling this way? Is it valid or not? Number three, start time blocking so that you can know where your time is going and where you’re supposed to be showing up in your day to day operations. You have a time block for business.
(16:15) You have a time block for your health, your meal, prep, your workouts. You have a time block for your prayer time. Your scripture time, your morning routine. You have a time block for your kids. You have a time block for dinner. Like I know what I’m doing at any given point in the day. Okay? And structured flexibility because life, but it’s not that hard to really focus. You just have to make the decision to be proactive instead of reactive.
(16:39) And you’ve got to get rid of the excuses and you got to get rid of social media. You have to do it. You’ve either got to delete it. Or you got to put your phone away completely because I know it’s addicting. I get it. I personally am addicted as well. That’s why I intentionally delete the apps all the time. Like if I can’t get in, I can’t get in problem solved. Okay.
(17:02) So number four, joy over progress, fulfillment over financials, meaning over money memories over more and number five permission to show up permission to show up 100% of your intentional action with whatever you want to do in the free blocks of time. When you’re also 100% showing up intentionally in your business time block, right?
(17:24) I pray over you, Sis, that this just resonated with you. It gave you permission to love your life fully and all the areas that truly matter that God shows you and reveals to you. The things that need to change, that you take the specific and focused action to not just nod your head with me right now, but to actually make the changes, make the choice to make the changes and then take action because your life is yours.
(17:47) We only have it for a short of time. Let’s make the most of it. Let’s make meaningful memories forever. And let’s decide. Let’s decide right now today to let God lead us in our steps, our purpose and our fulfillment in Jesus name. Amen. Love and light, Stef.