In today’s episode, we are doing a deep dive into authenticity. Are you being authentic in your business? Based on the interwebs, the definition of authenticity is the congruence between your values, personality, and actions. I know that everything changed for me when I finally let my guard down. When I decided to rip off the band-aid and let all my weird, #PJallday lovin’, business-brained, Jesus-obsessed self SHINE for all the world to see.
It created a true friendship between me and you. As I sat thinking about how crucial it was to my growth, I realized you may still be struggling.
I came up with four questions for you to ask yourself, and journal over. My prayer is that you really take the time and intention to sit with these, and most importantly implement any changes – as Holy Spirit leads.
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
Hi, friends! Welcome back to the show! It’s a nice, shiny, bright, beautiful Monday. Not so cold and it’s almost Christmas. Are you guys ready? I hope you’re ready. I keep like thinking I’m ready and it’s done and then I’m like, oh no, I forgot this person or I need this gift. We’ll get there, my loves.
Anyways, I’m so excited to chat with you today about this topic and shout out to Daphne Tilbert Johnson who came up with this topic and we’re really gonna be digging into authenticity. You know, are you being authentic in your business? What does authenticity even mean? Cuz there’s that.
And then really figuring out how to make this not something you have to strive towards or something that you even have to think about, but making this something that is so natural for you and just a beautiful evolution of connecting at a deeper capacity with your Lola and the person that you’re called to serve from a heart place. It’s gonna be real good. I hope you’re ready. Get a notebook and pen.
Before we dig into these four questions surrounding authenticity, I wanted to give you guys a quick update. There is one spot left for Podcast to Profit, January 2022 class. If you are a podcaster who wants to go all in, you are ready to scale your show and new heights to make 2022 your biggest, best, most profitable year yet then Podcast to Profit mastermind is for you.
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Last thing is that Call Her Blessed, still has five spots left. If you have it on your heart to come hang out with Chelsi and I at a live retreat March of 2020 to pour into your business, your life, do some God size dreaming, really take that and tactically dissect it down into tangible action steps.
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Let’s kick off this conversation with what does authenticity even mean? So I did some Googling cuz you know, and here’s what I found. It’s the congruence between our values, personalities and actions. So it’s this middle point of who you are, who God created you to be, your values, your personality, your quirks, your mannerisms.
Everything that you are and that you stand for from a value perspective, from a moral perspective, a moral compass that partnered with how you actually are acting, how you not even and not acting, but the actions you are taking, you know, how are you showing up? Are you showing up in congruence with who you actually are? That’s what authenticity means.
And as I really sat down and thought about this concept of authenticity, I realized that I truly believe the difference between where I was in the first five years of entrepreneurship versus where I am now in these last three where really I’ve experienced a true overflow in my business and my life and I’ve seen God’s hand in new and exciting ways, but most importantly I’ve really let go of everything I’m not.
And I think why it was so hard to be successful, like truly successful, like have that breakthrough and have that true, like, just being yokrd up with what you’re called to become and do and feeling like you’re not working or striving or hustling to make this happen is that I finally, well number one, surrendered, but number two stepped into just who I am.
I called it like ripping off the bandaid, and just really showing up with all of me, which includes, my messiness, my quirkiness, my personality traits, like really letting everything be seen, removing any veil or any costume or any perception of what I think I should be or how I think I should speak or think I should coach or think I should create things or think I should market and getting down onto these bras tacks of like, what do I actually wanna do?
And how do I wanna show up and who do I wanna become? Paving my own story, like deciding that I’m just gonna be who I am and people are welcome to like it or not. There’s the door and I’m so okay with that. And what happened through this digging into authenticity process, which I didn’t even know I was doing, but as I sit here, I totally see it now is that I connected with you guys so much more deeply.
One of my favorite things that I hear from the community is that you feel like you know me, you feel like we’re best friends, you feel seen by me. I was having an interview with Lydia who’s on my team and we are talking about Facebook group growth, which you guys are gonna hear super soon on my business, blow up your business series, whoop spoiler alert.
Anyways, and one of the things she said was, working with you feels like working with a best friend. It feels like even though you’re in high places, you’re right here, you’re down to earth with me. You’re exactly as you are in person, as you are on your podcast. And that was the best gift she could have ever given me is to say that to me. And I hear this from you guys in the community as well.
So what that means is you’re not putting on a facade and stepping up to a stage when you show up in your business, you’re truly being who you are 100% of the time.
And when you do that, it allows people to really connect with you on a deeper level because they know that you’re real, they know that what you’re going through, they’re also going through, they know that you got jokes and all of a sudden you’re not unreachable.
You’re a normal human, just like them with quirks and you’re fun. And you’re funny. And I think the best way to think of this is like, do you wanna teach people from a pedestal? Do you wanna teach people from standing up at the front of a classroom and pointing your finger at them and having them do tests? Or do you wanna teach people sitting at a coffee shop with them, your best friend, heart to heart.
You’ve got your notebook and pen and you’re brainstorming together and it’s a growth process together. And you’re giving advice from your heart and you’re showing up in your comfy or whatever it is that you like to show up in. And you’re so real, which one, is going to have the person on the other side, feeling more seen, heard, and valued and more comfortable.
And I really truly believe it’s option B. So here are four questions that I came up with to help you identify if you are being authentic in your business and hopefully this will encourage you, inspire you and challenge you to really take a look at how you can let the veil down, put your guard down a little bit and really begin to step into whatever that looks the messy. I was gonna say the messy, you messy, girl, I don’t know.
Stepping into your awkward, stepping into your weird, stepping into your quirky, stepping into your funny, like what’s the thing you’re holding back from your audience. And I think that is the catalyst to your growth is letting it go, allowing yourself to go there because there is a person for everyone.
And the more you hide who you truly are, the more your person has to struggle to find you. Like let’s make it easy to connect with our people.
Question one, when you guys grab an notebook and pen, you’re gonna wanna write these down. You’re gonna wanna journal over these. You’re gonna wanna pray over them and you’re gonna wanna really take a look at how you can implement the whatever the answers are. The revelation that these questions bring up for you and make some changes.
Number one, how are you showing up? imperfectly and vulnerably? Some of the hardest conversations that I’ve had to have on this podcast were getting my breast implants removed that was like one of the first 100 episodes I ever did. It was so terrifying. I’ve had conversations around my goals. I have shared numbers with you, guys and struggles with you all.
I have shared like limiting beliefs that I have gone through. I’ve shared when I’ve had setbacks or felt like my business was stagnant. I’ve shared when things didn’t go the way that I thought they were gonna go. When I joined this thing, like, I’ve been so honest and open with you, not just about business, but also about my life and that’s been difficult.
And that was a commitment and a decision that I had to make. Am I really going in on this show? Or am I gonna hold back these personal things that I’m going through because I’m embarrassed or I don’t know what people will think about me or I’m nervous to share them.
No, this is it like, this is the thing I am so here for. And I know that if I’m not sharing everything with you, you are not gonna understand what it really truly takes to get to where you wanna go.
That it never stops being hard that your life never stops throwing stuff at you. That you’re constantly gonna face new roadblocks and your emotions are gonna constantly be a rollercoaster, but it’s worth it. And there’s always an side to the hard, and there’s always a beautiful rainbow after the storm.
So are you showing up imperfectly and vulnerably? You can pause this episode and journal over this now. Or you can come back to this when we’re done, but I really want you to spend some time here. Spend a good 10 minutes on this question. And I want you to say why. If you put yes or no, please dig in. Why, how, if you said yes, I want you to put down what you are doing. What are you doing that’s working? What can you do more of?
Question number two, are you looking inward instead of outward? What does this mean? This means, are you looking to who you are and how you want to show up in your business, on your podcast, on social media?
Are you partnered with God in that process? Or are you looking around at everyone else seeing what they are doing and allowing that to create the story and the narrative for how you are gonna show up in the world?
Because if you’re looking outward, the way you’re showing up is not actually you, one of the biggest tips I have for those of you struggling with at this one is stop looking up.
I’m all but completely off of social media at this point, I don’t listen to any podcast that is a direct competitor of what I teach and do, because I don’t wanna be influenced by what they’re teaching. I don’t wanna accidentally have the same topic as someone else.
And some of this is subconscious. You don’t mean to, but you go look at what someone else is doing and saying, and all of a sudden you find yourself saying the same thing. So I don’t even do it. I don’t look up when somebody gets in my ear about a cool new opportunity.
I remember people were banging down my door, telling me to get on the clubhouse train. And I was like, no, you know that it’s not for me. I’m not, I don’t wanna grow that way. And I was okay with being different.
I’m okay with not following the trends, with saying no, even when there’s a shiny object, that’s being dangled before my face. I’m okay to say, it’s okay, you can keep your shiny cuz God spoke a word and I am sticking to what He has spoken over my life.
And I refuse to get distracted because let me tell you, distraction is a productivity and success stealer. It’s an anchor to your life that will keep you exactly where you are starting over time and time again. So question two, really be honest here, are you looking inward instead of outward?
Question number three, are you speaking from a place of honesty no matter the outcome? And I also wanna say here, like you can also phrase this question differently. Are you speaking from a place of truth and authenticity to you no matter the outcome? This one is tough because you can always play it safe.
You can always, you know, hide behind being careful about what you say because you don’t wanna be judged or condemned or have people come against you.
But let me just, and I’m gonna share something with you guys that I did that I am not proud of here, but it’s fine because we are forgiven and we learn and we grow, but your faith and your moral standards and your values should never be compromised because you’re afraid of what other people will think, say or retaliate against you.
So an example here is I was on a really, really huge podcast last year and I knew that her audience was all over the map from a faith perspective, we had some new ages and we had different religions and we had some Christians and we had some agnostic or atheists.
And instead of standing up for what I know to be 100% true, 1000% true and using it as an opportunity, I said, for me, blah, blah, blah but for you, that could mean whatever you want, meditation or taking a moment in your thoughts.
I totally deflected from what the truth was in my heart and what I know to be true. And I gave people an out and a lukewarm answer that could have totally led people astray. And what’s so fun about this that I’m grateful for in my community is that I totally got called out.
I don’t remember who it is sso if it was you, thank you. I got an email and it was like, I’m so disappointed that you did that. I’m so disappointed that you did not stand by your faith. This is not the Stefanie Gass that I know.
And I was like, oh God, punch. But you know what? I’m here for growth. I am here for constructive criticism and she was right. And so that is not being authentic. If we are changing our messaging and our values and our beliefs, or we’re hiding who we truly are from a faith person, because we are afraid of pleasing everyone.
I would encourage you to really deep dive into question three here and challenge yourself a little bit and ask yourself some hard questions. Am I being honest about what I believe, what I stand for, who I am, and you don’t have to be polarizing or divisive or argumentative, but you can still be honest about what you believe and stand for without pushing that on anyone else.
I think that one of the most beautiful ways that I’ve been able to touch people’s hearts from a faith perspective is just infusing it in my show and people are welcome to listen and they’re welcome to skip over those episodes, but, you know, what’s interesting. They don’t, they actually listen.
And I get blown up through the Facebook groups and through my email about people who their hearts have been changed through just me talking about how I live my life or how I pray or how I was changed by the Lord in this thing or this thing. And you know, this doesn’t have to be faith. This can be anything about who you are. So number three is super important.
Let’s move to the last one. Number four, the fourth question, are you feeling free and having fun? One of the biggest telltale signs that you are being authentic is that you are loving the way you’re showing up.
There was a time when I was doing really weird Instagram memes and really weird when I thought that Instagram was the secret to growth, I mean, just two short years ago, guys, like we grow, we learn, we evolve, God always reveals.
And I would constantly have to have a professional photo with this certain color border on Instagram. And I hated every second of it. I hated showing up and putting on my makeup. I hated fake eyelashes cuz they would fall off and poke me in the corner of my eye.
It’s inevitable. Why? Cuz they’re so dang cute. Just why? Although I have tried mag magnetic at this point and they’re so much more helpful, but you probably will not find me wearing them unless it’s like a super special occasion.
Anyway, I digress. I hated it. And so now that I know myself so much more and I become so much more confident in who I am, that would’ve been a telltale sign immediately, like stop doing that thing. That is not, you quit doing that. Who cares if people like it, don’t like it, comment, like just be who you are and you’re gonna reach the right people.
And so I remember once I started doing Facebook lives, I don’t know, gosh, it was like probably four years ago and I just decided like I have these young boys, my boys were super small at that point.
And I was like, I’m just gonna start joking about poop and fruit snacks, you know? Cuz that’s what’s really happening. Like they’d come in and be like, mom, I have to poop or I pooped or whatever.
And then one kid would come in and I remember that one time Miles through fruit snacks at my head, I was trying to do a video or a YouTube or something. And I just started joking about it. I was like, I’m gonna stop hiding the hot mess that’s really happening over here. And I’m just gonna tell people.
And it was like music, like angels started singing and the trumpets were blaring and it was like, this is home and I’m never going back, I’m telling them about what’s going on. I’m joking about the fact that my coffee’s always lukewarm and I heated it up probably 20 times one morning.
Even though I have a Yeti and it would keep it hot, I just don’t use it. And I just really like my cute coffee mugs and they don’t keep my coffee hot and I always have a LaCroix.
I love wearing my PJs, I love days where I don’t have to put makeup on and I’m just gonna go there and I’m gonna tell them and I’m gonna be so honest about it. And it created this freedom and the way that I showed up and allowed me to have so much more fun.
And you know, the other thing that really helped me was giving permission based on who you guys are to like do the same thing and being authentic about my struggles with social media and my addictions and how I was managing that, and now ultimately the answers to how I overcame that and why I don’t have the apps on my phone at all.
Why I’ve completely, pretty much stopped using social except the team sharing the podcast episodes there. I was honest about that and I was open and it allowed me to have fun and be free and give a lot of permission, you know, permission for myself but most importantly it gave a lot of permission to you. And I heard that from you, guys.
And so you’re also gonna get a lot of feedback when you’re operating in your authenticity. You’re gonna get confirmation after confirmation that it’s right. And I think that when you’re truly yourself, you can never go wrong. So, there you go. Those are the four questions. Let me recap them for you just in case you were scribbling to take notes.
Number one, are you showing up imperfectly and vulnerably? Number two, where are you looking? Inward instead of outward? And, number three, do you speak from a place of truth, honesty and morally, no matter the outcome?
So are you speaking from a place of who you are, of what you believe in and stand for no matter the outcome or no matter what people think of you? And number four, are you feeling free and having fun?
You know, I think this would be a great conversation to have with you. I would encourage you guys to come over to my Facebook group, it’s stefgasscommunity.com, and post about the revelations you’re having about yourself. Let’s have a conversation about this. I would love to know what you are discovering about yourself.
And I think it’s so good for women to have these open, honest conversations with each other because it helps us grow and it helps us know that we’re not alone in this growth process. And it also helps us have insight into how we can really step into our most authentic selves.
Lord, I just lift up the women today and I pray that you would peel away anything that is not truly them, that they would be willing, open, excited, and ready to flush out their books in heaven, that they would open the door to who you have created them to be in all their authenticity, in all their imperfection.
And so, that they would confidently rise into this authority of knowing that they’re called to stand up and be perfectly fearfully and wonderfully made just as they are, that you would empower them to use their voice and to show up and to be different, to do things differently.
We are called to be daughters of a king and we are called to be different. He tells us we’re not of this earth. We walk in heavenly places with you Lord and I ask that you would just pour that belief and knowledge into our hearts.
And you would make it truth, and also make straight our paths and open doors for us and shove us through Lord, cuz we are here and ready to say yes and amen to showing up authentically partnered with you in everything that we can do to bring you glory and impact. We love you, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.