Ready for Life Lessons from a Christian Entrepreneur?!
It’s my BIRTHDAY!!!! I’m 36 today. It feels a little surreal to be closer to 40 than 30. But, I can tell you – you DO get wiser with age. Grateful for the infinite blessings God has given me from my health, to my boys, to my incredibly supportive husband, to a business that lights me up… to all of YOU!
I decided to do a special birthday episode for you.
I am sharing 36 LIFE LESSONS from a Christian Entrepreneur I’ve learned over 36 years of life on Earth. These were the biggest game changers for me and I pray they bless your life in some way.
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
It is officially May 3rd. And it’s my birthday. I’m 36 today and I’m getting closer to 40 than 30… Weird phenomenon. Although I do have to say growing older, it does feel like I am growing wiser. I don’t, I guess that’s not an old wives tale after all, it’s the truth. And with each passing year, I get more and more grateful. I get more and more grounded in who I am. I get deeper in my relationship with God.
I know what’s important in life. I’ve learned what’s not important in life. And I’m sure that I have so much more to learn, but as I sat yesterday, realizing I don’t have an episode for Monday, I better record something. I had this crazy Holy spirit moment that I bet there are so many lessons that I could share with the community about what my biggest takeaways are through my 36 years of life.
So I challenged myself during my morning time to sit down with a pen and paper and write down 36 lessons that I have learned in 36 years of life. And I really, really hope that you guys enjoy. Here are 36,
Six lessons I’ve learned in 36 years. Number one, loving people is an investment with a high return. And I mean, loving everyone, loving people, regardless of their political beliefs, their religious affiliations, loving people who have less than you, more than you just loving people for who they are. It’s an investment. That’s going to have an incredible return on your life. When you give love, you get love. Number two, time is your most valuable asset. Yes. And amen.
Treat time as if it is more important than money, cherish time, spend it wisely out, allocate it to things that actually matter because time is something you can never recreate. Number three, being present with your family is worth any sacrifice. Being present. It’s worth turning off social. It is worth, um, taking less clients. If you have to being present is something that you can never, never, never, never, um, imitate.
It is something that cannot be done with something else that’s weighing heavily on you. It is a sacrifice to be present and it is worth its weight in gold. Number four, social media is a strong addiction that you do actually have control over. Y’all. Don’t want me to get off on this topic right now, but let me just tell you, you and everyone else you actually know, is probably addicted to some form of social media, some apps, some instant gratification that ping that ding, that like that DM,
Those are simply just notifications telling you you are needed, but it’s false because where you are needed as you are in your actual life, your actual business, by the people that are tangible 3d humans in your life, you do, you have control over breaking the social media addiction. And today is as good as day as any to actually make that happen.
Number five, find friends who grow you as much as you grow them. One of the best things I ever did was get intentional with the people that I’m surrounding myself with friends that lift me up, pull me up, push me to be better. Challenge me in my weaknesses. And our godly mentors are good humans inside and out. And guys, I have some incredible friends. Some of them aren’t Christians. Some of them aren’t married.
Some of them are single moms or married. Some of them are literally, Christian coaches. Like I have these incredible friends from a diverse background and they all pour into me and actually minister to me in different ways. But here’s one thing that’s non negotiable for me. I do not partake in friendships that are one sided. So that’s my advice to you. Find friends who grow you as much as you grow them.
Number six, God goes before you it’s already all figured out, can rest easy. Knowing that he has plans for uses that far exceed the plans you have for you. Number seven, flexible planning is life. I’ve learned through a lot of tried and true methods that you can come up with a goal and you can come up with a plan. But until you realize that, um, it’s not always going to work out the way that you want and you let go of that control.
You’re going to be stressed and anxious. You’re going to always feel less than because you’re always going to miss the goals. So flexible planning, hitting my goals is life, but hitting them in such a way where I’m ebbing and flowing with whatever’s happening in my life. Whatever’s happening with my kids, my marriage, et cetera, is where you really get that gratification.
Number eight asking for help will make you a happier person. Number nine outsource before your ready, before you can afford it outsource and have someone else step into the mundane tasks that you are doing every single day, week or month that don’t light you up. When you get rid of the stuff that is draining for you, it opens you up to become the visionary, to become the leader in your business and your life. And it doesn’t need to be expensive.
Y’all get an intern go on Fiverr outsource before you’re ready. Number 10, ask the Holy spirit to order your priorities each day. Shout out to Miranda Wendler for this one who told me, I was like, I don’t know what to focus on every day, I have all these things going on and she said, ask the Holy spirit to prioritize that list, Stefanie, every single day.
And it has absolutely been transformational. Number 11, a heart that gives is a heart that grows a heart. That gives is a heart that grows. How can I give more today or love more today? How can I serve more deeply today and show up for someone? Can I listen? More intentionally all of those things are pushing my heart to soften, to expand and to grow number 12, authentic, the city will get you farther than sales psychology.
She fight me mean on this one. Authenticity who you truly, really are, will get you farther than sales psychology. What does this mean? It means that being you, letting your vulnerabilities, your awkwardness, your weirdness, your, um, thoughts, your heart, the things that matter to you, letting all of those things shine and come out in your business is going to get you farther than sales.
Psychology. Why? Because trust is what’s going to transform arm your business 13. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to apologize. First. One of the best things, things I ever did was learn how to get on my knees. Look in my children’s eyes and tell them, I’m sorry. Number 14. That thing quotes thing has no more power over you. When it comes into the light. I have learned that when something is bothering me, it’s festering in my heart.
I’m feeling resentment. I’m feeling frustration or I’m feeling shame or guilt or comparison. The best thing I can possibly do is talk about it. Yes, to God, but also to someone else and best case to the actual person that I’m having this issue with. When your thoughts, these big, you know, stories that we make up in our minds. When we, when we bring those into light, we realize often there’s really no truth to it.
It’s a facade. It they’re often feelings not realities. And so when they come into the light, they have no more power or control over you. And my favorite thing, the second I get bothered with something is to immediately talk about it because those negatives emotions, those negative feelings, they dissipate. As soon as I do number 15, treat your body like a temple. This one, okay.
Only took me 35 years, 34 years to figure out man, but it has been so transformational the last year, really recognizing that God created me just as I am with this body, with this size, with cellulite, that is perfectly well-placed in all the right places, right? With, with arms that aren’t twigs. Um, I have big feet. You know what I’m saying? Like I’m so here for that. And I’m going to treat this and cherish this body in such a different way than I have in the previous 34, 35 years of my life.
Um, I nourish it. Well, I work out, I take care of my skin, of my teeth, of my face of my hair. I am investing in my health with a coach. It’s time to love our bodies as the incredible blessings that they are. The fact that my body functions and works and operates just for a moment to even place your hand over your heart and feel how hard your body works for you every second of the day.
And to just say thank you to your heart for beating for you say thank you to every limb of your body for working for you, to your brain, for making decisions 24 seven and how blessed we are to simply have a body it’s time to treat our body like a temple number 16, spend time praying and learning God’s word daily, daily, number 17, God, God slams doors sometimes in your face for a reason.
Don’t worry. Yeah. He’ll open new ones. I have learned in my 36 years of life, that some opportunities that I thought were going to change my life. Some friendships that I thought were going to transform everything for me, God slammed those doors shut. And often straight up in my face, almost crushed my fingers, but through the pain of that, um, rejection, that perceived rejection, that perceived failure, that perceived, um, I can’t that perception of, Oh man, you know, I lost it all or whatnot.
Those were doors that were closed on purpose with a purpose because he had a better door for me. All I had to do was knock number 18 boundaries. Aren’t selfish. They are absolutely necessary. Girl. I’m challenging you to figure out what is most important to you in your life, in every category of your life, making it an intentional plan to make time for each of those things, a plan of action of what you’re actually going to do to make those things a reality, and then setting up hardcore boundaries about what you want your life to look like.
If you have a goal to spend 30 minutes with God every morning, but you keep sleeping in what’s the boundary look like at night, turning off the phone by seven 30, having a nice cup of, of lavender tea. Um, not Netflixing okay. Climate in bed and getting to bed earlier. Like what does that look like? Maybe on the weekends, you have a boundary to actually be intentional and delete social media, but you feel like you have to have it on because that client might write you back.
Well, what does that boundary look like? And one of the best things you can do to start getting these boundaries to work for you is just communicate them, communicate them to everyone, communicate them to your family, communicate them to your peep. Peeps on social, on your pod. Y’all know, 99% of the time. I am deleting the apps off of my phone for Instagram and Facebook didn’t last weekend.
Cause we were on a girl’s trip and we wanted to share that with you. Or if I’m in a launch, that’s about it. And that’s a boundary for me. That’s non-negotiable I really don’t care. What else is going on? Um, because me being present is, is first and foremost. And for me that’s happening on the weekends. So boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re necessary. Don’t feel bad about creating those, sticking with them and communicating them.
Number 19, go on a trip and get away with people you love at least three times a year. If not more, it doesn’t have to be expensive either. Here’s why when you go on a trip with people, you love, whether it’s your girlfriends, whether it’s your spouse, whether it’s your kids, whether it’s a personal development conference, whether it’s a loan, you know, I mean, I said with people you love, but you love yourself.
You get it to know people at a deeper capacity. You have connection that’s been missing because there’s nothing else weighing on you. Your routine isn’t calling your name. Work is not sitting there when we are home. When we’re in the norm, our everyday life is our number one focus because it’s comfortable. It’s something that we do every day it’s habit.
But when we break the habit and we go on a trip with people that we love, we are thrown out of habit and into intentional action, fun, something new, something different, something exciting three times a year. Y’all and look, you can, you can just hop in the car and take a little road trip. You can tent it. It doesn’t have to be expensive. I promise you this will be worth it. It will strengthen your relationships and, and girls, if you have never been on a trip without your husband, then it’s time girls.
If you’ve never left your kids for a night, it’s time growing and stretching and allowing yourself not to fall. Victim to motherhood or to marriage is super important to your heart development. To allowing you to be strong as an independent, incredible woman who deserves to have a day or two to her to have fun, to laugh, to have no pressure, to have to not take care of anyone. I promise you it’s absolutely transformational.
Number 20, try something new that’s scares or pushes you every week. You probably, I heard many people say every day for me. I feel like every week is just enough. Okay. I know how uncomfortable is to, go do that first podcast episode to go do an interview on someone else’s show to maybe go make a friend at church, um, to volunteer at the school too skydive. I don’t know, do something new that scares you or pushes you every week.
21, never stop learning, never stop learning. If you’ve ever found yourself in a season of I’m doing all the motions, I’m kind of running through the motions. My life feels stagnant. I just feel like I’m doing the same old thing. It’s probably because you haven’t learned in a while. When’s the last time you picked up a new book to learn something exciting. When’s the last time you grabbed a coach in a different area of your life.
Right now I’m doing coaching and spiritual growth and in nutrition, in food freedom, I’ve never done that before. I’ve always done business coaching business courses. It’s so cool to stretch yourself in different ways and to grow and to learn and to expand. I’m also reading books on raising boys and learning different parenting styles. Those are things that I’ve never stretched myself on before. And it gives me so much excitement about life.
It challenges me in new ways, never stop learning number 20 to create a vision statement every year. And y’all have heard me train on this. I mean a written detailed, I mean minute by minute playout of what your life is gonna look like one year from now. And then you reverse engineer it to say, what goals, what would it actually take to make that vision of my life? A reality do that every year. I do it every single year for the past eight years.
And the craziest thing is that most of the time, that vision statement becomes a reality. At least 50% of it becomes true because when we map things out, when we’re partnered with God on the goals that he has for our lives, our subconscious brain operates in such a way to push us every day to make that actually happen. Number 23, the journey is the destination.
So we’ll so learn to enjoy it. Let me, let me say that a little louder for the girls in the back. The journey is the actual destination. So learn to love it. Guys love the good love. The heart. Love the days where you, I don’t get it all done. Love the days that are hard. Emotionally love every single minute because the journey is everything. Number 24, soak up your littles while they’re little. And I listened, I send it to Brendon Burchard’s high-performing habits book on my drive this weekend.
And there’s something he said that was like, Oh man, super, super good that I want to share with you guys about this one. Come up with three words that you want your kids to say about you when they’re grown. What are the three words that you want them to say? When they think have you, for example, mine are number one, that I was super fun.
Number two, that I love it unconditionally. And number three is that they felt seen, they felt seen and like they mattered. What are the three words or phrases that you want to come up with and ask yourself every day? How can I do these three things? How can I make actions? I’ve spent intentional time so that these three things become the reality and shape the way that my kids see me. You can also do that for your spouse number.
Twenty-five pray for your husband every day bonus. Pray with him. Number 26, seek wise counsel, after you seek God counsel so long, I would go to people and ask for opinions, advice. What do you think about this or that? Only to find that it came back super confusing. Everybody had an opinion and everybody had a, you should do blank. What I learned is number one, I shouldn’t ask everyone.
I should only seek wise counsel. I’ve also found that I, I have certain people that I ask for certain things, right? You can find, as you grow older, who are your people in each area? Who are your people that you go to for marriage advice? Who or who’s your person or your people that you go to for business advice, who are your people that you go to for life advice, right? Find your people, make sure they are founded in the same moral compass as you, that you trust them.
That they’re coming always from a place of love and encouragement. And they’re not afraid to challenge you. They’re not afraid to point you right back to the Bible or to the truth about that situation. After you’ve talked to God about your issues. Number 27, love your imperfections. Yes. Like I mentioned earlier, cellulite and all because your imperfections are actually what makes you beautiful?
Now? This one, it’s an evolution. It’s an evolution. Do I love what I see? See when I head out in a bikini or bathing suit? Not always, but I’m working on it. Right? Do I love, um, wearing shorts? Not always, but I’m working on it. And so it’s a constant evolution of growing and learning to love yourself. Do I love when I see a wrinkle in a picture? No, not always, but I’m trying to, I’m praying over that.
And I’m diligently working on learning to love my imperfections because they are actually what makes me perfect. And you, you are exactly the same. God made each of us and wonderfully and we are here. We’re here for that, right? Girls. We are so here for that number 28, stop judging other people, especially Christians. I had no idea how judgy it can be in the Christian community until I got deeper into my faith.
And I’m just here to say in my 36 years of life judgment, that’s not from God condemnation pointing fingers. My way is the right way. None of that is God. So let’s just stop judging other people. Let’s love them where they’re at and pray for them and be mentors. If they ask questions and be an encourager and be the light number 29, laugh and smile every single day around noon at lunch. Why don’t you give yourself a checkup and ask yourself, have I laughed today? Have I smiled today?
Because I know some days are heavy. We have all the work. We have all the things we have, all the stress, but the best thing you can do in the midst of all the things and all the stress is laugh and smile. Number 30, stop to smell the roses. This can literally be stopping to smell the roses, or it can be taking a 10 minute walk going out in the sunshine for five minutes and letting it just stream onto your skin.
It can be going outside and feeling the breeze. It can be taking a bath and just really experiencing the bubbles in the tub and the nice warm water. It’s really just sitting in a moment in time and letting all of God’s beautiful creation come into your heart Fridley every day. All right, next one, number 31. Find your happy place. And then go there. As often as you can. Examples, the ocean for me is my extreme happy the place your girl grabs her a boogie board.
And I head out there into the waves and I could just boogie board all day long hits. So my happy place, the Lake, a boat water. I love it. The forest mountain biking, the fresh air, uh, hike, um, trees, pine trees. Those are all my happy places. Go there. As often as you can, it refuels your soul and heart to be in the spaces and places that and your joy.
All right, next one, number 32, be open and honestly communicate this. And it goes with what I said earlier, which was when it comes to the light. It has no power over you, but even more. So challenge yourself to not keep your, your thoughts, um, your emotions inside, but, but practice being open and honestly communicating, standing up for yourself, having those boundaries and being unapologetic about you.
Need number 33, give, give, give, give your money, give your time, give your love. Give your friendship. Give because whatever you give it will come back. Tenfold. Number 34, find someone who needs kindness and bless them with your light. If you can, daily, if not weekly. As my kids head off to school every morning, we challenged them. Can you find someone lonely today and say, hi, can you make a new friend? Can you introduce yourself to someone that you’ve never met?
Can you make somebody laugh? Can you invite someone to play with you guys? Someone that’s never played with you before? Be the light share kindness. You never know how much another human might need you and your smile. Wow. Number 35. Cherish your parents. Yep. Make time to call. Spend time making memories with them. Text them, write them a letter. It’s awkward. I know cherish your parents. We never know how long we have them.
Time is not promised and last but not least, number 36, surrender, lean, not on your own understanding, but trust in God. I hope you guys love today’s episode. I hope you love those 36 life lessons. And who knows. Maybe you can adopt some of those as your very own. I would love to hear from you. What are some of the biggest, most incredible lessons you have learned in your walk on this earth, come and share them in the Facebook group, Bitly slash success support group.
I would love to hear them shoot me a DM. I would love to hear what your lessons are or which of these 36 lessons hit you the hardest. Father. I just pray over these incredible women. Thank you for allowing them to be part of this incredible journey. We call life. Thank you for bringing them into the community. I pray over their lives, their marriages, their relationships, their children, and their businesses. I just pray that your hand is upon them.
That you are revealing all of the incredible ways you have already orchestrated the most beautiful fruitful life for them and that they can just trust in you that any of their control or their fears or their anxiety or their worries are crushed and are sent away to dry places and replaced with the just confidence that you have got everything under control. We love you. We are so grateful that we get to rest in you in Jesus name. Amen. I will meet you guys inside the group. Love and God’s Light, Stef.
If this podcast has blessed you in some way, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review for the show over on Apple podcasts. I seriously and lit up every time I hear from you guys, every time that I see that this show has impacted your life in some way. So if you’ll do that for me, I would be super grateful. The second thing you can do is take a screenshot of this episode or of your review and go share it in your Instagram stories and tag me @Stefaniegass. I’ll share you in my stories and then together we can share the love.
The more I get to know my students and the more I participate in masterminds with my peers the more I’m starting to comprehend the overarching problem and prevalence of one, perfectionism, and two, overthinking.
Perfectionism keeps us in a place of constant consumption and learning. Redoing things over and over and thinking that we can’t move forward until they measure up to some elusive standard.
Why do I believe we need a morning routine? I believe you must have a morning routine because it helps you get into the mindset of productivity and purpose.
When we get right with God we: Renew Our Minds
Get Into the Word
Are Able to Live Our Life Guided by the Holy Spirit
The difference in how my day goes when I do my morning routine and when I don’t is night and day.